Could I be depressed?

[Lisejane]

I am posting hoping for some advice. I think I might be depressed and am unsure what to do.

I gave birth to a lovely daughter in Jan. Prior to her birth (at her 20 week scan)she was diagnosed with a severe difficulty with one of her lungs and we were prepared for a special care baby who may require surgery. After we were given her diagnosis I just shut down and did none of the mum to be things as I was terrified that she was going to die. She is now well and at home and is a lovely baby. After the birth I lost my grandfather, my partner lost his job and we have some money concerns. I now have to return to work full time. I am struggling with managing all my worries, looking after my daughter and running my household. I am feeling really low, tired, I am tearful and spend a lot of my time wishing that things could go back to the way they were before I was pregnant. My partner gets the brunt of my short temper and I think that he dosent know how to manage me. I seem to blow the smallest thing out of all proportion e.g if my daughter doesent eat her tea I worry I will be up all night feding her. We are getting married soon and I want to enjoy our day and start to feel more like myself as I feel like a shadow of the person I was before pregnancy. I am hoping for some advice as what to do now.

Thanks x

[jellyrolly]

You poor thing, you sound utterly exhausted.

I would see your GP who will talk to you about depression and post-natal depression. When I had PND, I also took a homeopathic remedy for tiredness. I'm not suggesting you do the same but don't underestimate how much being shattered will affect everything, including your ability to deal with depression.

I hope you are able to eat and rest as well as possible which might help a bit.

You are not alone in feeling you like this, so many women don't enjoy their children's early years and beat themselves up about it, you are very normal. Good luck. x

[Clarella]

I am so sorry you've been through so much. You do sound like you are depressed and i am not surprised with all the stress you have had. it's a really hard thing to admit but actually great that you are noticing that something is wrong. It concerns me you are about to go back to work full time, it could help but also could be a tipping balance. The exhaustion associated with depression can be crippling.

You need to see a gp who you both trust and also who might have a special interest in depression. Some practices say what each gp specialises in on a website, others you could just ring the surgery and ask or just see who knows you best. There may be two things going on - the hormonal life changing effect of being a new mum (pnd) and depression triggered by life events and stresses - tbh likely a mixture of both but I would be extremely honest about how you are feeling to you gp (again really hard to do!) antidepressants really do work for people (not for me, I use betablockers and cbt) and I would imagine a referral to a counsellor would also be helpful especially to help you go back to work.

There are various charities which are extremely helpful: www.pandasfoundation.org.uk/ is very good - don't be put off if you read stories which actually sound worse than you, it's too easy to say 'I'm not that's bad, I'm ok' and try to carry on. A good analogy is that with a fractured leg you would still go to hospital and get it fixed, take it easy etc as you would with a triple break. A bad sprain still needs resting and paracetamol! They have a very supportive help line or you can email them.

'Mind' is also excellent and has some downloadable or cheap booklets about a wide range of difficulties including money worries, partners, grief etc.

Best wishes and take care xx

[Clarella]

Sorry, www.pandasfoundation.org.uk/ for PND and AND.