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Our Antenatal and Postnatal Depression forum is a supportive space where you can share your postnatal depression experiences.

Antenatal/postnatal depression

PND diagnosed after 6 months

10 replies

fludda · 13/04/2012 12:46

Hi

I'm new to mumsnet so apologies if this is covering old ground.

I was diagnosed with PND when my baby was approx 6 months (he's now 7 months) and being naive I didn't actually realise it could kick in after so long (I thought if you were going to get it, it would be within the first few weeks after birth). Because I didn't realise this, I thought I was immune and therefore it really was like a slap in the face as it seemed to creep up on me.

My pregnancy was great and birth was fairly straight forward although I had a complete and utter nightmare with BF (baby wouldn't latch on and when he did he completely stripped every inch of skin from my nipples - OUCH! This lead to thrush, 7 weeks of expressing and eventually having to give up), which in hindsight could well have been the start of it all. However, even though I went through a tough time I still managed to get out of the house for walks and to baby groups etc.

In the last couple of months I completely lost my confidence, questioned whether I'd made the biggest mistake of my lift by having a baby I didn't know how to look after properly (in my view, not others) & stopped going out to groups etc, started feeling majorly anxious all the time, crying etc and after visiting the Dr I was diagnosed with PND and am now on Citalopram (which I've actually taken previously due to suffering from depression in the past).

I have good and bad days, but the bad are really awful - the outlook is completely bleak, and although I take some solice from the fact I've got help and there are probably more good that bad currently, the down days seem to set me back in my thought pattern. I just don't seem to be taking much enjoyment from any situation and feel that I'm wasting/have wasted precious time with my baby (who I love dearly), especially as I go back to work (part time) in June. I just wondered if anybody has been through similar and has any thoughts/advice on the best way to move forward as it's sometimes easier to take advice from those that aren't closest to you.

Thanks (and sorry if I bored you to death with this post!)

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catsgotthecream · 13/04/2012 16:09

I'm new to this to,hope i can help a little, i was diagnosed with pnd when my ds was also 6 months old, i, like you didn't think it could happen that long after the birth , it was horrendous, i cried all the time, and when i wasn't crying, i was feeling like crying, i couldn't make a simple decision, and life was wretched, eventually i went to gp, and was given prozac, the medication worked only so, so, but the best thing i can suggest is talk to people, family, friend, health visitor, if your open and tell people how you are truly feeling, things hopfully will get easier. Also if you can try and get out in the fresh air, it really does help, and you don't seem so isolated, is the a pnd support group near you? your health visitor may be able to get some details for you, but please talk to someone, good luck

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fludda · 13/04/2012 19:17

Thanks for your response.

I have had a few 1-2hr long sessions with my health visitor (sort of counselling sessions) which are great, but she hasn't mentioned any support groups or anything. It's just when I'm left with my own thoughts during the day my mind runs away with me and I tie myself in knots. I create situations/arguments with close friends in my head that may never happen, and the smallest things set me off. This is on top of the feelings that I'm not doing everything right for my baby. My partner and family/friends have all been amazing, I just feel so negative all the bloody time!

I've heard that part time working mums are sometimes happiest as they have a good balance of work/mummy life, so I'm trying to look at returning to work as a positive, but I'm also dreading it.

Sorry, enough moaning........

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catsgotthecream · 13/04/2012 19:39

You arn't moaning, it's a horrible dark place to be, i found it was better when i was out, as home started to feel like a prison, but i do understand this isn't easy, i am sure that you're baby is doing just fine, and you're a good mum, you just have to be gentle with yourself, it does and will get better, just give yourself time. Can i ask is this your 1st dc?

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COCKadoodledooo · 13/04/2012 19:42

Ds1 was 11 months before I finally gave in and went to the doctors. Like you it had been a gradual process and also like you I thought that it wouldn't be PND, that I couldn't have it after so long (although looking back I think it had crept in much earlier but I wasn't prepared to admit and in a perverse way thought I 'deserved' it somehow).

I took antidepressants, and we sleep trained ds1 so I could get full nights of sleep which definitely helped (having been up 3 times a night minimum for those 11 months). I didn't have any counselling, but I did talk it through with friends and also on a parenting forum.

Me going back to work was the trigger for me going to see the GP - I knew something wasn't quite right, and I worried about how I would cope. I told work as soon as I started (might have been before tbh, I can't remember Blush) and they were very supportive. It was a new role to me as well and could have been a complete nightmare but the manager I was working with was brilliant.

Tbh going to work really did help - I got at least a bit of 'me' back; looking back I'm sure that the loss of me as an individual, becoming 100% Mum, was a huge contributing factor, I was shell-shocked.

Within 6 months of being back at work I came off the ad's. I still had occasional bad days for a while, but have been fine since.

And the good new is, just because you've had it once it doesn't mean you automatically will with subsequent babies. I discussed it at length with my mw when I was pg with ds2, because I was worried it would happen again. She made sure I had support networks in place, and also spoke to dh to ensure he knew what to look for - to make sure I wasn't covering my symptoms, hiding like I did the first time. Turned out I didn't need to worry.


Not sure if any of that waffle will help you! I wish you well x

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fludda · 14/04/2012 09:34

Yes this is my first child, who was very much wanted. That's partly why I feel so guilty about feeling like this; I spent so long wishing for a baby and when he arrived, it wasn't quite what I expected and my thoughts/reactions to becoming a mum have been completely overwhelming (and much more negative than anticipated).

I think you're right when you talk about getting 'me' time back, having discussed this with my HV, the loss of control over just day to day tasks in my life is one of the hardest things to deal with. Not being able to just have a shower when I want to, let alone go to the gym etc (the change in my body image is another issue I'm struggling with enormously), is a massive adjustment to make. Hopefully working will actually be the tonic I need. Never thought I'd say that!

Thank you so much for your advice. Whilst my friends and family have been amazingly supportive, it's so valuable to talk to others that have been in exactly the same place as me and makes all the difference :-)
x

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catsgotthecream · 14/04/2012 10:19

You're welcome, the reason i asked if this was your first dc, is that after the horrific experience of having pnd i went on to have 4 more dc, it never returned with any of them. I can remember not having a shower for over a week, as i just couldn't get in, and that had a negative impact on how i was feeling, not only did i feel completely overwhelmed with looking after baby, but i felt i couldn't look after myself either, having your first dc is hard, no matter how much they are longed for, no one can really explain how difficult it can be, they talk about sleepless nights, and nappy changes,how much your life will change, but not really about how sometimes you totally lose yourself, in body, mind and spirit. My eldest dc is now 13, and i love him so much, this is horrific for you now, but it does get better, take care, i'm here if you need me,

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minicc · 23/04/2012 09:48

Am sort of in the same position as you- and I have found cbt to be quite helpful in allowing me to 'unpick' the things that make me so very anxious. It's all a bit 'and how to you feel about that....' but the process of breaking down the thought patterns that send me into a spiral of worry has had an affect already (I've had 4 sessions). I had to refer myself through the hv and did have to wait 8 weeks (!) but you've already done the hard bit in asking for help. Very un-mumsnet but sending a hug and a glass of something nice your way xxx

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MrsWajs · 23/04/2012 19:54

Hi fludda, cats & minicc I'm so glad I've come across this thread.

I too have recently been diagnosed with PND and panic disorder and my DD is 1 this week! I have a prescription for escitalopram which I am to start taking tomorrow. Have asked for CBT but the waiting list is months long.

I've known for a while that something wasn't right with me but was trying to ignore it but returning to work in February triggered panic attacks so I knew I had to see the GP.

Have those of you who've been on anti-depressants found them helpful? I really don't want to take them but know I have to do something to feel better.

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MrsWajs · 23/04/2012 19:55

Oh sorry cockadoodledoo I didn't mean to miss you off my hello there!

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minicc · 24/04/2012 09:00

Hi mrs, I started on 20mg citalopram 2 weeks ago and felt a difference after a week. I am baffled as to why I didn't take them sooner as I feel as though I've missed so much of my girlie in the last 5 months. BUT, you have to be ready to take the tablets and that it's the right time for you. What sealed it for me was I could see just how much it was affecting my dd and dh. I heard him in tears on the phone to his best friend talking about my depression and it broke my heart that I was putting them both through such a horrible time because I didn't want to seem weak but taking antidepressants. Hope it helps you? X

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