PND??

[Icanonlytry]

Hi Ds is nearly 6 months old and I love him so much. Had a tough birth, very very quick, delivered 10 mins after getting to the hospital, had to sit in the car through full on contractions and feeling like I needed to push on the way to the hospital, to be honest I think I am struggling to get over it, I know you might think it was better to be so quick but I went into shock because it was so intense, still having flashbacks all the time and when I went to the hospital for physio I broke down in the car park and couldn't go in the hospital.
I am also finding it really hard to deal with him growing up, I feel like I have missed so much of his first 6 months, even though I know I haven't, have only been away from him a few times, when we were moving house he went to my mums for 4 hours for two days and when Dp and I went for a meal (3hours when he was in bed anyway) but I feel like he is growing up far too fast and I can't deal with it. He is my second Dc (dd is 9) and I dont remember feeling like this with her.
I am coping fine with everything, take him out, play with him etc but every now and then I just feel so low and don't know what I am doing wrong.
Sorry if this post is one long ramble but I have written it and re written it and if I don't post it now I don't think I will.

Is it normal to feel like this with your second because you know how quickly it goes?

[RIZZ0]

Hi there, you could be suffering with Post Traumatic Stress - have you spoken to your GP about this?

If not, maybe book an appointment with the GP you know/trust at the practice and see what they say.

[Icanonlytry]

Hi, thanks for your reply, I haven't spoken to anyone about it.
Feel a bit of a fraud really, PTS following a birth - you would expect hours of labour, medical interventions possible EMC... my birth was only 2 hours long with no interventions apart from the midwife breaking my waters and lots of stitches afterwards because he was a big baby and born very quickly. I just keep going over and over it, wake up in the night wondering what would have happened if my waters had broken and I had delivered in the car on the motorway, should I have called an ambulance and so on..

[sparkleandspin]

Icanonlytry - i just sent you an email. Will message properly soon. I've been going through the same but my son's birth was 8 weeks ago.

[Icanonlytry]

I finally gained enough courage to see the GP, she was lovely (even though I cried) and agreed that she doesn't think I have PND because of the way I have bonded with Ds and am still managing to function normally, she did however diagnose post traumatic stress syndrome. She said that in a case like mine it was quite common because of the worry that I wouldn't make it to hospital in time. Also because it was so fast and the midwife had to take me into the first room we came to (which is only meant for assessment and monitoring) they took baby out of the room to weigh him and do his apgar etc. she said this might have affected me and triggered PTS because it stressed me that they took him away from me.
Anyway she has referred me for some sort of talk therapy but warned the waiting list could be very long. She also suggested I try and access my notes so I can have a look over them and maybe reassured that there was no risk to me or Ds during delivery. I have just e-mailed someone to try and find out how I can do this.
I hadn't thought about it before but I had high fluid levels during pregnancy, nothing of concern but I had a few growth scans to monitor the baby and fluid levels and I was told that if my waters broke I had to get onto all fours and call 999 for an ambulance because there is a risk of a cord prolapse from the force of the water and if this happens the baby can only survive for 5 minutes. My waters were still intact when I got to the hospital so this was not the case but now I come to think of it I am sure that has been playing on my mind.

Wow essay alert!