I am a mum of 3, ages 4, 2 and 12 weeks. Im petrified, as I think I may have PND. I can be completely irrational, nit pick everything, seem to be constantly screaming at my older 2 boys, who I now think are afraid of me. Im breastfeeding and have shouted at my baby when he fusses at the breast. I feel awful as I absolutely adore my children, am so proud of them. By 1pm, I am phoning my husband asking can he get home early, or when will he be home. Sometimes I am in a flood of tears, othertimes I am anticipating tears. I seem to blame the oldest boy for my behaviour and dont know why Im doing it, and then I get myself upset for doing this, as I know hes only 4, playful, loving, and full of mischief, which is exactly how he should be...I know its me and hate myself for it. Today I threw a toy into the toy box in a rage and it broke into pieces, upsetting my 2 and 4 yr old, then blamed them for me doing in, when inside I was hating myself as I know I was in the wrong, but at the time I couldnt help myself. I feel like I am loosing it. My husband is good, wants me to get help, some days are better than others, and I seem to swing from very good days(where life is great) to awful days, where he finds me crying on the sofa when he comes home from work.
I have made an appointment with my GP, and am worried about her thinking Im such an awful mum that I dont deserve my children and refer me to social services. Can anyone advise me what the GP might do if I spill out my heart like above.
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Antenatal/postnatal depression
Im going to the dr
10 replies
imustbemad2 · 10/11/2011 23:08
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