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Our Antenatal and Postnatal Depression forum is a supportive space where you can share your postnatal depression experiences.

Antenatal/postnatal depression

Im going to the dr

10 replies

imustbemad2 · 10/11/2011 23:08

I am a mum of 3, ages 4, 2 and 12 weeks. Im petrified, as I think I may have PND. I can be completely irrational, nit pick everything, seem to be constantly screaming at my older 2 boys, who I now think are afraid of me. Im breastfeeding and have shouted at my baby when he fusses at the breast. I feel awful as I absolutely adore my children, am so proud of them. By 1pm, I am phoning my husband asking can he get home early, or when will he be home. Sometimes I am in a flood of tears, othertimes I am anticipating tears. I seem to blame the oldest boy for my behaviour and dont know why Im doing it, and then I get myself upset for doing this, as I know hes only 4, playful, loving, and full of mischief, which is exactly how he should be...I know its me and hate myself for it. Today I threw a toy into the toy box in a rage and it broke into pieces, upsetting my 2 and 4 yr old, then blamed them for me doing in, when inside I was hating myself as I know I was in the wrong, but at the time I couldnt help myself. I feel like I am loosing it. My husband is good, wants me to get help, some days are better than others, and I seem to swing from very good days(where life is great) to awful days, where he finds me crying on the sofa when he comes home from work.

I have made an appointment with my GP, and am worried about her thinking Im such an awful mum that I dont deserve my children and refer me to social services. Can anyone advise me what the GP might do if I spill out my heart like above.

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4madboys · 10/11/2011 23:16

the gp will listen and hopefully offer constructive advice and probably adivise you take meds, there are plenty that are compatible with bfeeding so make sure they give you ones that are and get them to do a bit of research if not tiktok on mn can help you and others.

do you have homestart in your area? contact your hv who should be able to help put you in touch and they can give you a bit more support.

you arent a terrible mum, you are ill and need some help, please get it, i doubt VERY much that they would refer you to SS and even if they do its fine, i had a referal to them as i had post natal psychosis, they came and visited me and the children a few times at home to see what help they could offer (not much) but they were as supportive as they could be.


((hugs to you as you need them)) keep swimming, acknowledging there is a problem is the big step, you have done that, now phone your gp first thing tomorrow and get some help xx

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meglet · 10/11/2011 23:18

You have three pre-school age children, a lot of people in your shoes would be stressed to the eyeballs.

I've hurled the odd toy in anger too and I only have 2 dc's (now 5 & 3), you're not alone. And I shouted at my dc's when they wouldn't bf properly, it's wretched when they fuss about.

A visit to your GP is a wise move though, better to speak to someone now than leave everything to be bottled up.

((hugs))

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imustbemad2 · 12/11/2011 20:44

Well, I visited my Gp, and have been prescribed Paroxetine. My GP said they wont kick in for a few weeks, so am wishing the days away until I feel brighter. My lovely husband is taking some leave from work to help me out until the drugs kick in.

Im feeling so relieved that I did visit my GP, I really poured my heart out, told her everything, and she said that without doubt I have post natal depression. She was really supportive, talked through all the options, the different drugs etc. She dosn't think I need a referral to the mental health team at this stage. At least I now am moving in the right direction!

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Notsure102 · 12/11/2011 20:47

I would second trying to contact Homestart . Googlle them to find out more they are there to help if they are in your area

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Notsure102 · 12/11/2011 20:48
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4madboys · 12/11/2011 20:58

well done! thats great, its hard going to the drs and acknowleding you have a problem, glad the dr was supportive and i hope the meds help. and its good that your dh can take some time off work to help you out for a bit, sounds like positive steps to me :)

keep plodding on and keep posting here, you will get better, you are doing all the right things to help.

and yes def get in touch with home start xxx

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imustbemad2 · 12/11/2011 21:21

My HV is coming round in just over a weeks time as shes monitoring my babys weight gain(bf and dropped a centile on the chart) so I will ask her re homestart in my area. i checked out the website above, and looks like the closest is about 10 miles away, so hopefully she will have more info

thanks for all the suport xx

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4madboys · 13/11/2011 21:23

thats good that you are seeing your hv, keep her informed and yes she should know about homestart and also any other baby groups etc you can go to, i found it really helped to get out of the house, i would have one quiet day a week, when i didnt go out, but even if you just get out for a walk it helps you to feel better. xx

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theenchantedhood · 18/12/2011 14:56

Hi IMBM2
I went to the docs this week and was prescribed the same. I did try and ask for Cetraline sp but doc was adamant to give me these with BFing. My DC are 2.2 and 6m but I seem to have been spiralling to the point - being mrs shouty and not leaving the house for days on end...!
How are you finding them if you don't mind me asking? I am only on day3 and still v nervous..

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imustbemad2 · 07/01/2012 21:44

Hi theenchantedhood, I havent been online for ages so sorry for the late reply.

Im doing really great on the paroxetine 20mg. They kicked in after around 3-4 weeks, and have really made an improvement. I dont feel like a mad mummy anymore, Im not shouting at the older two any more (unless they actually do something) and am coping with life. They have made a positive impact on everything, and Im delighted I went to the drs when I did. Since my initial post, one of my children has been diagnosed with aspergers, and I have no doubt that I would have fallen apart if I hadnt been on the paroxetine. I hope its doing the same for you x

imbm2

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