Ante/postnatal depression costing me my new house, gutted.

[SunSoakedStone]

And nearly my marriage.

DH insistent he will not make a bigger financial commitment with me while our marriage is rocky, despite waiting to move since November into gorgeous house in nicer area. Marriage 'rocky' because of depression.

Feel gutted and let down by DH. Feel I've let kids down as well, as they will now have to go to rubbish school where I currently live. House is ok, no parking though and steps up to house, was pretty much housebound in ice and snow. So depressing, does not help.

: (

[Tee2072]

Are you being treated for your depression? Is your DH not understanding what depression is/does?

[SunSoakedStone]

Yes being treated. I don't think he does understand it really or doesn't want to. I get a lot of 'will you stop crying for half an hour' etc.

Was so happy when I got pregnant this time round, just thought it would be so much better than last time since I'd be living where I wanted to. Literally one day he just said, forget it, i'm not moving while we're/you're like this.

And I'm not working atm, so have no financial say anymore. Frustrating.

[Tee2072]

Okay, you should still have financial say even if you aren't working. You do work. You look after the children and do some housework, I'm sure.

What you have is an illness. Ask him if he'd ask you to just stop having high blood sugar if you had diabetes. Or stop having pains if you broke your leg.

Really, don't give up. He's being a bit of a tosser but keep talking to him and see if you can get him to understand.

I've had depression for years. If you want to talk more privately, please feel free to PM me.

And a {{{{SSS}}}} hug for you!

[PeterSpanswick]

Sounds almost as though he is punishing you for the way you feel which is very unhelpful and unfair. Have you stopped working due to the depression or for other reasons? Is he feeling put upon financially or under pressure to support you all?

[SunSoakedStone]

Thanks both,

I was on mat leave but couldn't go back with the PND. By the time I was feeling better and thinking of work, I got pregnant (happily) and the depression came back. He does work 7 days a week in various things, but doesn't need to do the extra hours. Really, he doesn't. We would be more than ok on his main income. I think you're right though, he probably does feel put upon, but he doesn't need to.

It does feel like punishment, and I don't want the 'victim' role.

[Isitrightorwrong]

Hi there

OP How are you going now? Any progress with the housing situation?

I was interested in your post because I am in a similar situation. DP will not make a decision on improving housing situation. We are in an area that has bad schools and he won't make any changes due to me crying all the time. He says he did not want to sign up with someone who has as much anxiety as me. Charmer. What do these men thing - kids grow in our bodies with no consequences?