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AIBU?

To wonder why my DS is biting at nursery ONLY?

5 replies

emy72 · 08/07/2010 14:43

My DS2 is 2 and a half and as I am returning back to work in September, so I have started him in nursery 2 mornings a week.

The nursery is a fantastic setting, with 6 acres around it, and very clean/organised, and came highly recommended. However I did notice that it is very full and staff ratios seem a bit low.

Anyway, my DS2 has been going there for 2 months now and every single time they told me he has bitten a little boy.

Clearly this is terrible and I am very upset that he has done this, but I cannot understand WHY he is doing it as he has never done it at home or in any other social setting. He has 2 older siblings very very close in age and a younger one and we always go to playgroups etc but he has never done this or attempted this before.

Apparently he drew blood it was that vicious and totally unprovoked attack?!

Am I unreasonable to think that my son must be incredibly unhappy/unsettled at nursery if this is what he does EVERY TIME when he never does it at home? He is such a placid character and I am sooo baffled by this.

I don't think nursery believed me as they keep asking me whether he is doing it at home and can I please ensure I time him out/explain to him this is not acceptable behaviour - clearly they look exasperated with him. However I am not convinced all is well, AIBU and what would you do?

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Chil1234 · 08/07/2010 14:52

I would think that he's not being supervised properly at the nursery. You can certainly tell him that biting is wrong but a time-out is next to useless if it's too long after the event. Maybe there's something about that particular child he doesn't like? Have you asked him?

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Jamieandhismagictorch · 08/07/2010 14:54
  1. teething
  2. hunger (believe it or not) - my DS2 would lose the plot a bit when his blood sugar was low
  3. A very noisy/stimulating environment
  4. to get what he wants when speech isn't very good

    A good nursery will understand that biting is a common, if unpleasant thing for toddlers to do. They should be taking note of any times/circumstances when this is happening and try to firstly, prevent it, and then deal with it calmly - giving lots of attention to the bitee, and explaining to the biter that it's wrong. If he seems to be targetting one particular person, then they should maybe try and get them playing together productively.

    Possibly they could reward DS with a sticker at the end of a session if he hasn't bitten anyone.

    Try not to feel bad. - DS2 used to bite and it feels terrible. If he's not doing it at home the (or even if he was), it's up to them to deal with it.
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Wanttofly · 08/07/2010 14:58

I would ask then to remove the other child from his class or I would change nursary and see if it happens again.

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Jamieandhismagictorch · 08/07/2010 14:59

And I'd say you are right to be a little concerned. They shouldn't be aghast by this, and it might be a sign he's not settled there. And they should be listening to you....

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emy72 · 08/07/2010 15:06

Mmm thanks, I think I will have another word tomorrow about it, I need to understand exactly what's going on in order to help the situation either way!

You'd think with a 3 year old brother with whom he's constantly bickering this would have happened at home if that what his nature. (My other son was a biter but did it consistently at home, at playgroup, at nursery, anywhere in fact if unsupervised....grrrr)

I think it's a sign that he's unsettled or that this child is being a bit nasty in some way. Either way, it needs sorting out!!!

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