to find SOME aspects of drop in income a bit rewarding and fun?

[MitchyInge]

don't shoot me too enthusiastically, am not saying actual poverty has any advantages, nor am I overly smiley about creeping debts

but income is vastly reduced and things are a bit hand to mouth, not that was ever drastically rich but some expenditure that was all too easy and bit extravagant is quite nice to have to do without and probably would never have made those changes as am personification of easy life and instant gratification = eg massive fan of eating out and takeaways and paying people to do stuff for me

so think has been good personal development type change, and hopefully when circumstances improve again will retain stuff like living on own produce like eggs (not from personal ovaries of course, from our hens) and trusty breadmaker and fruit and veg boxes even bit of tidying up now and then, and bringing own roses into house instead of buying cut flowers to trick eyes of visitors away from the dust and unsightly piles of assorted stuff - which would usually spend £££ on activities outside house to avoid spending time with own squalor

is this quite bad or quite good?

[HoopyFroodDude]

To be honest having your own hens and breadmaker etc suggests that you are not living in difficult circumstances at all. So yes maybe that is fun. I wouldn't know.

[Chil1234]

I think I know what you mean. You've learned the value of money. I was forced into semi-poverty when my marriage broke up fifteen years ago and whilst it wasn't exactly 'fun' it's certainly left me much more resourceful, careful with money and far more appreciative of anything I've had since.

However, like me, you're clearly anticipating that things are going to get better. I wouldn't like to be dropped into poverty with no hope of escape. That, I think, would be totally soul-destroying rather than rewarding or character-building.

[mumblechum]

Our income hasn't gone down, in fact last year it went up quite a bit, but we have lived very frugally for years now as are massively overpaying our mtge.

TBH I am at the moment feeling v pissed off about never having any spare cash and as soon as the mtge goes, later this year will be Having Words with dh about increasing my budget.

[littleducks]

Is that you, sheherazade goldsmith? you can cat me if you dont want to be identified on mn

[HoopyFroodDude]

Being dropped into poverty without a breadmaker, house to sort, hens and your own roses wouldn't be much fun either

[sweetnitanitro]

YANBU. We've been doing loads to cut costs, like DIY when we would have paid someone before, buying second hand or re-using other people's unwanted toys for DD, obsessively reading Freecycle emails etc etc. Making something or searching for bargains and freebies can be so much more rewarding than just buying something. Of course there are downsides too but there are plenty of positives.

[MitchyInge]

ah yes, would hope have made clear that is a change from prior circumstances and not an experience of unrelenting grinding actual poverty

think having had hens and breadmaker during time when was able to work 7 days a week and support own family without benefit of partner or family help by way of childcare does not preclude idea that in some ways circumstances before had difficulties of their own though

[wastingaway]

Although I do see what you mean this is a bit at the same time.

More details of previous lifestyle are required to compare to vegbox/hen/rose lifestyle I think.

[MitchyInge]

I know, it is a bit - so I wondered if my feelings about that (which are sort of parallel to my thrill of 'wow, don't HAVE to spend £millions at Waitrose to live' could in fact be screamingly unreasonable !

previous lifestyle was just a LOT of work, maybe 10 hour days here and there throughout week, and quite a few hours every single day of week almost without fail, and about 10 times more income - that is what single parenthood is like for some of us I think

current income an utter joke really, is just so good that my relic of a hovel comes with implausibly tiny mortgage

[MitchyInge]

dropped this ) somehow, must be sweaty palms of anxiety about possibility of someone coming on here to tell me off

[wastingaway]

It sounds like a good opportunity to see the value of money, but also the value of time.

[CompyCod]

no
you are being a fool

[MitchyInge]

oh yes, value of time - thought I always valued and prized and jealously guarded my time but am realising not

why a fool?

dissolving into spectacularly irrationally over-sensitive tears

(not really)

(feeling bit chippy though)

[CompyCod]

sorry i meant to type that as fule then found meself htinking abotu something else.
no harm meant
have a smiley

[nickschick]

compy cods pissy cos she wants pinking shears .

[MitchyInge]

which is scarier? you speaking mind or you being nice?

am excited about smiley though as any fule kno - imagine string of sparkly pre-adolescence love hearts

possibly pulsating or dancing in some way

[nickschick]

pissy=cross not incontinent

[EnglandAllenPoe]

although, yes i do class fruit and veg boxes as wildly expensive...

i can sort of see where the OP is coming from. a change is as good as a rest, and sometimes having a whole bunch of little jobs created for you is nicer than merely throwing money at problems (on the 'keeping busy' scale of things. e.g buying beer is not a pastime, brewing it is...(and much cheaper))
although after a while, you do thirst for a shop bought brew.....just because that would make a change.

[MitchyInge]

forgot to say thank you

reduced circumstances no excuse for reduced excessive politeness

[mumblechum]

I still feel very satisfied at the end of the Asda shop that it's about £25 cheaper than the W/rose shop for the basic stuff. (still go to w'rose for certain essentials, though, like their antique iris handwash )

[GetOrfMoiLand]

No.

I lived long enough in skint land to value my spare income now, and wherewithl to buy extravagant food/spend £80 on books if I want/to pay the gas bill without being worried about the money.

I think the OP's circumstances are relative poverty anyawy. Making your own bread and eating everything in the fruit box is a bit different from standing there with £3 in Somerfield thinking how can I get a couple of meals out of that. And turning the lights and telly off so the electric doesn't run out.

[MitchyInge]

am not claiming poverty, really anxious nobody thinks I am

[GetOrfMoiLand]

No, I know you're not, don't know why I said poverty anyway.

Just ignore me

[nickschick]

I think sometimes when you are in a better financial shape you tend to pack more in .........for example nowadays if im buying dc new clothes I do actually look forward to it and plan what im going to buy and browse a bit online etc check out the best deals whereas when dh worked longer hours and i was working too Id pick stuff up and not actually appreciate the purchase iyswim.

Same with flowers Id often buy a £5 bunch of lillies and just put em in the vase and forget about them... nowadays I try and get them reduced (only cos a big new tesco is within a short walk now) and I really appreciate the fact I can sometimes get them as cheaply as 15p.

the other thing ive taken to doing recently is ordering books from the library mostly cos my shelves are heaving but also bcos theres only me that reads them in a houseful of boys no one else appreciates my chick lit- and when i get the note saying my book is ready i really look forward to going getting it - previously ive just seen the book,fancied it and bought it - sometimes I dont even start to read it.

Small things lol.