To think that next time MIL comes to dinner, I should hand her a takeaway menu?

[chipmonkey]

and tell her to choose her own food as nothing I cook is ever good enough?

We had fillet steaks today which I ordered specially from our lovely butcher for Fathers Day as FIL loves a nice steak.

I knew she liked it well-done so served it up well-done. I was in the kitchen when dh appeared with her steak saying it needed a bit more time. Fair enough.

So he brings it back in to her, she picks at it and then hands it over to FIL with a sneery face saying "you have that, it's medium rare, you can see the blood"

Now by the time I had cooked it and dh had further cooked it it was very well-done indeed to the point of being burnt, IMO and there was no blood in sight!

I know she was doing it to get at me,she does it every time and I am very, very fed up of it. So AIBU?

[secunda]

YANBU

[verylittlecarrot]

YANBU. How rude of her.

However...people's interpretation of well done differs wildly. My parents led me to believe that all meat should be cooked until it was brown all the way through, and that even the faintest hint of pinkness meant it was Not Cooked, therefore Dangerous, Scary, Wrong and Inedible.

It can be very difficult to overcome this kind of conditioning.

Was there any pink at all in her steak?

[Vallhala]

Give her a vegetarian meal next time. She won't find any blood in that and will have to think of something else to moan about!

[hippymummy]

If you think that's bad, my partner complains about his food every single night. My mother in law lives about 15 mins away and has never been to my house; we have to visit her! argh!!

[StealthPolarBear]

that was rude of her
maybe you should have asked for a blood sample

[piscesmoon]

Stop cooking for him hippymummy-let him shop and cook his own!
With MIL I would just put everything in bowls on the table and let her help herself. Treat her like a toddler-refuse to get drawn in do not discuss it, you all get on eating and let her take it or leave it! If she says anything, make a mild comment and change the subject.

[MaryBS]

YANBU. IMHO I wouldn't pander to her in future. You could try telling her, if you don't eat your dinner you won't get any pudding, but I guess that might make things worse .

My MIL always cremates the roast beef and boils the veg within an inch of their lives, but we don't say anything. Similarly she is polite when she gets medium rare beef and lightly cooked veg!

[Jasonthunderpants]

Like most old people the only enjoyment she gets is complaining and being a nuisence
It comes to us all

[DetectivePotato]

YANBU. Don't invite her for tea anymore. If she complains, tell her its because its never good enough so you thought she would prefer not to eat at yours.

[GeekOfTheWeek]

Tell her to cook her own in future.

[chipmonkey]

vlc, the fecking thing had been as good as cremated by the time dh had finished with it, there was no way there could have been any pink at all. Oh well ,more for FIL who did appreciate it and cleared his plate!
( Poor long suffering man!)

[GetOrfMoiLand]

I would buy some of that biltong dried meat and give her that instead.

Mind you I can see myself behaving like this in future - I like my steak blue and everywhere I go it is overcooked. I don't say anything but I imagine that when my social graces disappear (ha!) I will start to pick and prod at my food with lips pursed.

I am actually looking forward to it!

[chibi]

Back when I still cooked for mil she would more often than not refuse to eat, and the rare time she did she would cover it (literally, you could see it) with salt. She would then choke it down as though it were a shit sandwich with broken glass sauce I'd served her!

We get takeaways for the pils now, saves on grief.

Only part of the weirdness was antipathy to me, she has a v v v odd relationship with food and tbh I feel sorry for her more than offended, she can never just eat inan uncomplicated way like most people can

[bluecardi]

takeaway pizza next time!

[OrmRenewed]

No a takeaway can be expensive. Get her a burger and grill it till it's like leather.

How rude!

[OrmRenewed]

What a dreadful thing to do to a good bit of fillet! That alone makes me say YANBU.

[ILoveGregoryHouse]

You should get her a minute steak and cook the fuck out of it next time, then put in the microwave for good measure. That'll learn her.

Everyone else can have a nicely cooked bit of fillet. Yum.

[zipzap]

How often does she cook for you? And is her food badly cooked (or even just overcooked?) Next time you have to eat there can you treat her food similarly - or bring out a sandwich that you've taken along specially because 'you know that mil can't cook properly and you can't bear ruined burnt food, not to mention the increase in cancer risk' etc etc etc

OK so you'll never live it down in her eyes but if she is happy to do this to you then she can't complain if it is done to her. Sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander and all that seems a choice culinary phrase here

[zipzap]

Alternative do all yours beautifully. Then hand her the frying pan and her bit of meat and leave her to it with the words that 'Nothing I do will ever be good enough or right for you so you might as well do it yourself and be happy'.

Or put it on and cook it for at least an hour. or a whole morning.

[AlCrowley]

I've got a recipe for a lovely lamb shoulder that needs to be cooked for 5 hours. Would that do her?

I refused to eat steak while I was pregnant as it should be well done according to the food police. Once it's well done, it's ruined IMO so I just didn't bother.

[SloanyPony]

I'd be putting it in the oven (gets more rubbery and crispy that way, and more carbon) for about 4 hours on 200. Then serve up everyone else a lovely juicy one.

I dont cook beef for my inlaws anymore (well I'd do a casserole in the slow cooker I guess but not anything nice). I wil not ruin a nice piece of beef by overcooking it to grey/brown string.

At Xmas they only eat the breast bit of the turkey without skin (not for diet reasons). I used to get a turkey crown to make sure there was enough breast to go round but we dont actually like breast that much and like to munch on various limbs of the bird, skin and all so we stopped going that. Sod them. We serve them up the breast but if its not enough then tough doozies.

They wont eat curry, chinese, anything a bit luxe like duck breast or venison, pate, or any fish dish be it a pie or a piece of salmon or whatever.

Last time they came round I thought I'd do something that really didn't involve a lot of meat (just a bit of bacon which EVERYONE likes unless religiously contraindicated or a die-hard veggie, and even then I think veggies must secretly like it) and did a tagliatelli carbonara where I'd made the tagliatelli myself, rolling it out in the mangle all morning etc and the most beautiful carbonoara sauce, with velvety sauce and not scrambled etc.

MIL didn't eat it because she'd eaten an egg the day before and "didn't want to get egg-bound" and FIL picked at it and announced that he "didn't really like Carbonara".

They got no pudding.

[chipmonkey]

She has pretty much stopped cooking for us now but it used to be roast beef done to death, veg which had been cooked to a pulp the night before and then reheated, instead of gravy she used to make up packet soup and pour it over everything. Dessert was tinned fruit and ice cream. And I always ate it all up and never passed any remark except "Thank you, that was lovely!" even though it wasn't!

Now, if she does have a crowd over, it's cold meats and salads and all salads are smothered in mayonaise. Think I will bring my own sambos next time!

[Aldred]

Give her salad. Give all of them salad the meany old buggers!

[Carbonated]

You should do the same for MIL as you would for a toddler.

Here is the food. If you don't like it there is nothing else coming. "Good, more for me then" is a useful phrase.

Making further amendments to the food is just rewarding poor manners.

[Flisspaps]

Packet soup instead of gravy?