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AIBU?

to want bedroom activity at 6 months pregnant?

18 replies

jbakedbean · 16/06/2010 21:45

My dp is a great dad and we cohabit reasonably happily, but if i'm honest we might as well be housemates, not partners. I don't get any affection and as I have a high sex drive I don't get any action either as he says he just doesn't find me attractive when I'm pregnant. is it unreasonable to ask him to make an effort, if not full blown sex then at least do something that puts a smile on my face. I'd more than happily sort him out but he looks at me as if i am stark raving mad, which is really hard to swallow, esp being pregnant you need a bit of reassurance that you are loved and you're not an ugly whale.

Am I being unreasonable to expect some effort?

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lazarusb · 16/06/2010 22:23

Not at all. Sit on him. That should do it.

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scanty · 16/06/2010 22:33

strange, but pregnancy always made my hornier (is that a word?)!

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marriednotdead · 16/06/2010 22:49

YANBU but he cannot help feeling that way though he could keep it to himself
How about spoons or reverse cowgirl- he doesn't have to look directly at your bump and you can both have fun

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jbakedbean · 18/06/2010 19:59

tried, tried and tried, in fact the more possibilities i suggest the more he avoids me which hurts even more. he doesn't even seem bothered about pleasing himself, or me pleasing him. not that he had much drive before but he is now in definate reverse. I'll make it through to the birth but after that he better buck his ideas up. A woman has needs, and i haven't gone this long without sex since I was 13. lol

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marriednotdead · 18/06/2010 22:37

A close friend's exp ran away when her bump became too big
1st time he rang from the airport (heading for family) when she was 7 months pregnant, returned day after dc1 arrived. Stayed in the country (but not in the house) with dc2 and suprised us both by turning up while she was in labour. They split shortly afterwards unsuprisingly.
He later admitted he just couldn't find her attractive while she was 'like that'

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Bechka · 18/06/2010 22:42

YANBU!

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MrsC2010 · 18/06/2010 22:45

YABU! (But only cause I don't fancy it in my current state!)

Real answer: YANBU. Get it in now whilst you can, I'm 34 wks now and feel like a beached whale. I was in the bath earlier and kept waiting for Greenpeace to show up and try to roll me to freedom.

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BitOfFun · 18/06/2010 22:47

Is he usually this much of a twat?

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jbakedbean · 18/06/2010 23:11

tried, tried and tried, in fact the more possibilities i suggest the more he avoids me which hurts even more. he doesn't even seem bothered about pleasing himself, or me pleasing him. not that he had much drive before but he is now in definate reverse. I'll make it through to the birth but after that he better buck his ideas up. A woman has needs, and i haven't gone this long without sex since I was 13. lol

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ZZZenAgain · 18/06/2010 23:13

I don't know if he has a problem having sex with you because you're pregnant. Sounds like it is a state of mind. Not sure what you can do about it.

has he tried and felt uncomfortable with it or just refused?

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zerominuszero · 19/06/2010 08:15

Of course YANBU

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EricNorthmansmistress · 19/06/2010 08:42

Is it the pregnancy or has he always been off sex? YANBU by the way. Either way, it sucks.

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LadyintheRadiator · 19/06/2010 08:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

nagoo · 19/06/2010 11:22

Mine hasn't touched me since the night he got me pg. I'm now 18 weeks.

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Mumcentreplus · 19/06/2010 11:28

I was a very horny when pregnant..fortunately I had a DH who did'nt care and thought it was a great thing... ahh the memories of baby bump nookie!....perhaps you should have a chat with him and find out his concerns...

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ImSoNotTelling · 19/06/2010 11:30

If he has a low sex drive, is it possible that he's using your pregnancy as an excuse not to have sex, IYSWIM.

YANBU BTW the middle trimester makes me frisky. And I have the most vivid dreams

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jbakedbean · 22/06/2010 20:50

he does have a low sex drive anyway, but he is not prepared to talk or compromise. I tried to bring it up again the other night and he basically brushed me aside and made a sick noise.

so I don't think there is a solution but it has made me feel better knowing that i'm not being unreasonable and i really appreciate all your comments. I'm almost tempted to when he does try it on post baby to tell him where to stick it and make sick noises. after so many refusals you just stop fancying someone. I'm going to get my pre baby body back as well as can be if he's not interested I'll find someone who is. xxxx

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SunSoakedStone · 22/06/2010 21:04

YA completely, utterly, and definitely NBU!!!

I was mad for it at 6 months and tbh it is well worth having.

I really hope everything works out for you, pregnant or not everyone deserves to feel loved and desired. Enjoy your pregnancy and enjoy your baby.

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