or just plain horrible to not want to be friends with s.o.?

[arcadia96]

I have a neighbour who moved in quite recently and is really 'trying' to be friends with me, and I'm finding it a bit much. We don't have that much in common but she texts me a lot and it feels a bit oppressive! I'm really in favour of being on good terms with neighbours but not necessarily close friends unless you particularly get on. She may be a bit lonely as she's new to the area. I have plenty of friends already who I'd rather spend time with. We both have small children but different ages. Am I being really mean and should I make the effort to become friends with her, or is it wrong to be friends with someone just because you feel you should be???

[ABatInBunkFive]

s.o?

[StealthPolarBear]

someone?

[maria1665]

Why not introduce her to your circle of friends and spread the burden? Or take her to a group so she can widen her field. You can be friendly without having to be friends iyswim.

[ABatInBunkFive]

That'd make sense. SPB

[borderslass]

why has she got your mobile number if you don't realy know her the only people who have my number are close family and friends and the schools.

[thisisyesterday]

well why did you give her your mobile number then if you didn't want to be a friend?
if you've been very friendly and handed out
phone number etc etc then I think tha'ts probab ly why she thinks you want to be friends....?

why not get to know her a bit better, you might find you have more in common than you think

[froglegs]

'She may be a bit lonely as she's new to the area'

So yes, I think you are being mean. Why not introduce her to your group of friends and safe might find someone else she connects with.

You might find you quite like her.

I am moving to a new area soon. I hope none of my new neighbours are as unfriendly as you!

[BlameItOnTheBogey]

I think there is a half way house. You can see her occassionally without her dominating your life. If she is lonely she will be grateful for company.

[MoChan]

Agree with PPs who said that you should try and introduce her to other people. She may not especially want to be friends with you, in fact, but doesn't know anyone, and is trying to make connections (possibly for her children as much as herself). I would be kind. If, in the end, you don't get on, the feeling could very well be mutual.

[pigletmania]

Well you are being a bit mean, no of course you dont have to see her all the time, but very occasionally invite her round for a tea/coffee and chat so that she does not feel alone. Why give her your mobile number if you see her in that way? Suggest activities near by she could try or do.

[arcadia96]

I gave her my mobile number as she gave me hers. I do quite like her but she just texts me all the time! E.g. if my baby is crying she will text 'is the baby OK'? which I find a bit oppressive!
She also annoyed me at the beginning. My baby was very small and she had major building works on our party wall without warning me at all - too loud to even speak, went on for days. I had to arrange to go and stay elsewhere.
So I take your points above but hadn't explained fully.
Also have invited her round for coffee and offered to babysit for her etc. so not being unfriendly or unhelpful, just don't want to be in constant text contact 24/7 but think the right answer is not to respond immediately.
She is younger than me - I think texting is a young thing!

[arcadia96]

Also good idea re. introducing her to other friends, thanks for that one!