jelous of the other grandchild

[glasgowmandy]

this is going to sound ridiclous, and probably a bit cruel and selfish, but i have a 7 month old little girl and my bf's family already have a 2 year old grandson, they absolutley dote on him and bf's mum takes him 3 days and nights a week so her daughter can work.. my problem is! i am sick and tired of him getting all the attention adn my little girl getting left out, they always take him places buy things for him fuss over him constantly and me and my little girl are always left sitting alone, i only live round the corner from them adn i never get a phone call asking about her or a visit to see her, because they are too pre occupied with their little grandson, hes a lovely little boy but i am coming to resent him! i dont liek going over there anymore and sometimes i make a point of not going like (why should i go there when they dont come here) its so petty and its driving my boyfriend nuts but ive had a enough!! i got a phone call two mins ago from his mum asking if she could have my little girl tomorow because the wee lad is getting photos done tomorow in his nursery and wants some with her in it too, ive said ok but i wanted to say.. NO! bugger off you only want her for a picture. oh my god i sound awful but honestly im going to go mad, is it just me or am i being stupid?? but i dont like being around him anymore i suppose im jelous, my parents dote over my little girl, alwasy wanting to see her taking her places texting just to see how she is.. also every time shes near that boy she ends up catching an illness of him which makes me dislike him even more. what the hells wrong with me seriously, am i just a total bitch?

[glasgowmandy]

by the way can i just add mumsnet is amazing!! i have never felt so relieved about all the little things going on in my mind in my life!!why the hell wasnt i told of this sooner???!!!!so much helpful advice and support, its better than getting a councilor although i could get addicted to this! and think... umm problem? MUMSNET !!!

[SloanyPony]

Toddlers are a pain for transmitting illnesses. They are like vermin.

I think grandparents get extra look-in when it comes to their daughter's children, whereas you are the daughter-in-law and they might not want to step on your toes. Its easy to feel interfered with if its not your own mother doing the doting, if that makes sense.

If your parents dote on her and you, concentrate on that.

[dizzydixies]

no but unfortunatley this is not an uncommon problem - my parents were completely biased regards my newphew and my girls got ignored unless my parents visited without him being here

it got to the stage where we would just turn up at theirs so DD1 had at least half an hour before they could get DNephew round to visit too

remember that this is not the grandson's fault and the fault is on the part of the grandparents - either suck it up and accept it as it is or get your DP to speak to them about spending equal time with your DD

families are never easy

[scurryfunge]

Calm down, your boyfriend's parents are doing what your parents are doing...indulging their grand child.Let's face it a 7 month old is not very exciting.Wait until she's older...she will undoubted become more involved.

[glasgowmandy]

this is true thats what i was thinking, im not her daughter so obviously its different, but i also know its not his fault hes lovely i just wish she would get as much attention, but your right my mum gives her loads and loads, i have talked to my other half about it but he gets upset and thinks im bad mouthing his family, which is not the case! this is totally off the subject here but can i just add somthing.. bf's sister with the little boy told me the other day he is drinking too much milk he wants milk all the time (cows milk) so shes telling him he cant have it and has to have diluting juice instead, so she dosnt let him drink milk at all during the day now.. ummm isnt milk better for him than juice???? x

[dizzydixies]

glasgowmandy - my parents were not involved with my kids at all but doted on my brothers

my inlaws are not involved with my kids at all but dote on SIL's kids

sometimes its just the luck of the draw I'm afraid

oh and welcome to MN

[smallorange]

I think your DD will get more attention as she gets older. At yhe moment the grandson is young through a very cute stage and is probably far more interactive than your DD. They sre probably just enjoying the fact he recognises yhem and loves them. Having him overnight probably makes them feel like they are more involved too.

I guarantee as soon as your DD starts toddling, and lisping granny, they will be desperate to take her out.

Just bide your time. Don't burn bridges, or make an issue. It will work out.

[glasgowmandy]

lol guess its just one of these things, i do go round less now, i didnt go round for two weeks at one point, she literally stays round the corner and only works part time, not one call text nothing, in two weeks!! she dosnt seem to be bothered??!!fuckin inlaws, excuse the language x

[glasgowmandy]

dya know im almost that bitter than i (my mums nanny, his mums granny) want her to learn to say nanny first!! so that granny gets jelous, and if she asks why che cant say gran, ill just say.. aww coz she sees my mum more.. OHHHH god im a bitter mummy! i need a drink lol x

[iamfabregasted]

I don't honestly know if you are genuine and I feel very sorry for you if you are.

Maybe they aren't interested because they don't know if your DC is their son's or not.

[meatntattypie]

at knockraven.....

[dizzydixies]

knockraven - was there any need??? wtf

[Morloth]

Your life will be a lot easier if you just stop worrying about this stuff.

knockraven I know we are all bored with the election stuff, but a leetle more subtlety might be better.

[iamfabregasted]

I'm not being cruel, I can't get it to link here, but she had another post about her child possibly not being her parter's but being from a one night stand and another thread about discharge and being pregnant.

And I am maybe a cynical old cow, and if I am and I am wrong then I'm sorry, as I said in the original post.

Should've linked the other thread but I can't find it now.

[iamfabregasted]

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/964748-is-my-boyfriend-my-babys-father-help?pg=2

that's the page off my history but the thread has now been deleted

I am not a vindictive cow, really I'm not

[paisleyleaf]

I think it's quite common for grandparents to feel closer to their daughter's DCs and be more involved from the whole pregnancy bit.

[dizzydixies]

paisley - that certainly didn't happen for us but did on the PIL side

knockraven - apologies

all very Jeremy Kyle in here

[iamfabregasted]

No bt I'd just been on the thread half an hour before and the window was still open.

The thread was very odd (will some of the people who were on it please jump to my defence) and it has now been removed.

I couldn't give too hoots either way but it just seemed weird and not genuine.

And as I have said I am sorry, really sorry, OP, if my instincts are wrong.

[redskyatnight]

My mother virtually ignored my DD in favour of her older brother until she got to an age where she was able to physically/verbally demand attention. Now DS is not so amenable to grandma hovering and it is the other way round ... Is it just that your MIL finds a baby is less "interesting" then a toddler?

[paisleyleaf]

I saw the 'don't know who the father is' thread knockhaven.

[iamfabregasted]

And just to make it clear, I had an x-mil who for years refused to believe that my DS1 was my then husband's. She made a massive difference between the children, the rest of mine, and mine and BIL/SIL.

I would have every sympathy for the op if the situation is really as described.

Please look through my history of posting on threads and you will see that I have not been unreasonable or commented anything like this ever before.

[iamfabregasted]

Thank you paisley. I was feeling a litle under attack!