to want to fast forward the next few years?

[makeitadouble]

I have three children under 5, the youngest is 14 months. I am feeling more and more guilty about the fact that I can't wait until they're all in school and I have some time to myself. I know everyone says you should never wish away these years and they grow up so fast but I can't stop feeling like this and looking forward to when they're children, not babies/toddlers. I do love them to bits and enjoy them and I would never turn back the clock. I suppose it doesn't help that I have very little support from family and my husband works long hours and travels a lot so it really is just constant childcare with no breaks. I've only ever spent two nights away from home since my first was born. He is in school now but we can't afford any nursery care or pre-school until the middle one gets her vouchers. I feel my life is such a tedious routine. I probably sound a bit selfish and admittedly, I am quite lazy. Does anyone else feel like this?

[JustMyTwoPenceWorth]

oh god yes, I did. Now they're 9 & 10 and I wish I could start all over and appreciate their babyhood.

But if I had it all over again I am sure I would appreciate it for all of oooh - 5 minutes

It's draining! Don't be so hard on yourself. You don't sound selfish at all.

[Jamieandhismagictorch]

No, I felt like this, and had more help than you get. And only 2 DSs. 3 under 5 must be very hard.

I did enjoy their early years (probably about 70-80 % good), but the bad bits were BAD, and it was so relentless. I only started to feel like myself (or a new version of myself), like my head was above water, once DS2 went to school nursery.

A very large part of it is tiredness. I look back now and have no idea how I functioned.....

[PandaEis]

well i say with 3 children under 5, you are anything but lazy i only have one child (not by choice) and i did find the 'inbetween' years from toddler to child quite tedious as it is an endless load of frustration from the toddler who desperately wants to communicate and still nappy changing but with 'proper' poos and slobber and crying etc. i dont mind a baby doing all that but i does get a little wearisome and it must be quite a bit harder for you with there being more than one to deal with

is there no chance of a relative/friend sitting with your DCs while you get some time to yourself? you do sound like you could do with a little break TBH

[Jamieandhismagictorch]

Toddlers are wonderful when they are not yours. It's a good job they are so funny and cute at times, because it just about makes up for the times they are monstrous little dictators who make you fell like you are walking on eggshells.

< scarred by tantrums >

[makeitadouble]

Oh thanks you lot. Thought I was going to get a roasting. Draining and relentless, yes, perfectly describes it. PandaEis, no not really an option, certainly not with family anyway. Emmmmma, I'm with you on that one! Jamie, very true!

[staranise]

Totally sympathise - I have three aged 15 months - 5.5 years and I'm hiding on mumsnetfrom the chaos of bed time. I've found this winter in particular hard with the bad weather and my youngest having one illness after the other. Like you, I have no family nearby and DH works v long hours.

But things will get easier and they have eased for me slightly in that DD2 is 3 and so goes to nursery and I've jsut put DC3 in private nursery one day a week so I can supposedly get a bit of work done - that helps keep me sane. I've started exercising - even if it means running round the block at 7am, I really appreciate that time by myself with my iPod.

I used to love the baby years but right now, it's a matter of getting through the day.

[EggyAllenPoe]

agree, i already fantasise about dropping number 3 off at the school gates for the first time...and it's still in the womb!

[nickytwotimes]

Yanbu.

I have ds aged 3 and am due number 2 in May/June and though I do love being a parent and adore ds (and no doubt his sibling too) it is very full-on when they are young. Mind-numbingly boring, yet totally relentless and exhausting.

I dread this one arriving a lot of the time, tbh.

[shushpenfold]

I remember the feeling well!! I had 3 under 4 1/2 and wanted to stab the next person who told me to 'appreciate them when they're this age, as it won;t last'....thank goodness I used to think! Mine are 9, 7 and 5 now and I'm enjoying them more....and the ability to strap themselves into a car seat is blinkin marvellous!!! Totally normal, don't stress, have a glass of vino and chill. xx

[Jamieandhismagictorch]

Something I found worked for me was to try, every day, to just stop thinking ahead - for example what needed to be done, and just get down on the floor with them and "be in the moment". This helped me, because I used to resent playing with them sometimes. Let them take the lead. Watch what they are doing and just comment on it. Let them tell you what to do - don't try and lead. Sometimes I would lie down and have a little snooze on the floor...

[nickytwotimes]

Oh, I do appreciate it really though - well, try to. I know in a few years time, I'll be fighting for ds's attention when all he wants are his frineds and his bike/computer/tv/comics/etc...