to go for a job interview when I know I am pregnant?

[teenytinypontipines]

I have a dilemma! Just got invited to a second interview for a job I'm really keen on - but two days ago found out I'm pregnant (very early stage, only just missed period).

What do I do? Carry on with the interview and tell them I'm expecting if I get offered the job? Pull out now? Or say nothing at all, then if I do get offered it, turn up in 3 months time (my notice period) with a bump...?

baby no 1 took 18 months to conceive so I kind of thought I wouldn't be in this position

[tortoiseonthehalfshell]

I interviewed for my current job at 10 weeks pregnant. Hadn't told family yet. Told them at interview, as it felt unethical not to.

They offered me job anyway, and we put maternity leave arrangements in employment contract.

Congratulations on the pg.

[Doodlez]

We're a small company. This situation is one of our biggest fears. It would kill our business

Is it a small or large outfit?

[teenytinypontipines]

It's a very large company so it's not a matter of survival but it would obviously still be v disruptive

Guess I wouldn't be entitled to maternity pay if I did get the job?

[LittlePushka]

I would carry on and tell them when you are ready. They presumably realise that by employing pre-menopausal women it is more than a probability that such employees may want to have a child. I would not beat yourself up about this - work it out with your employer in due course. If they rate you enough to give you the job, then they should rate you for the long haul.

Doodlz Just interested why would it kill your business? Can you not get cover temporarily? Are you running SO lean that you cannot plan financially for such an eventuality? I cannot help feel that all businesses (not just small ones) should plan for maternity issues all the time, not just when it happens to an employee. It sort of upsets me a little that PG women are made to feel this pressure. There are loads of things you can do to mitigate this well in advance so it need not be your biggest fear!

[bernadetteoflourdes]

Little Pushka you have to pay for a temp and possible agency fee (which may be higher than your staff wages) and with the new eu directive maternity pay is going up to 6/8 months FULL 100PERCENT PAY. If you ran a small business it could cripple you in the current climate big businesse feel it too and it is just counter productive as Alan Sugar says no one will trust employing woman of a child bearing age. A little honesty would not come amiss Our previous firm had two girls on mat leave who said they were coming back but they didn't one (my sis in law ) knew she was not going to return and just wanted to take her "full whack" as she termed it. And no I am not a small business owner and yes I took mat leave at the current rate of pay which was fine and yes I did return to work.

[JustAnotherManicMummy]

No. YANBU. Go for the job and keep your mouth shut. It's really early days and you don't know what will happen between now and your first scan when most people start telling. Hope you get it.

Oh, and the rest of you whining on about women in the workplace - all that statutory maternity pay is paid for by the tax payer, not the business. So stop knocking women and show a little solidarity.

There is a wealth of evidence that shows employing women who have children actually costs you less in recruitment fees over a medium term then recruiting those climbing the career ladder who move on causing a gap that needs filling.

Alan Sugar? FFS

[bernadetteoflourdes]

JustAnother check your facts on this one, the employer has to come up with some payment too, it is shared with the state and this new EU directive is far more punitive against employers. And I quoted Alan Sugar coz he is GBs bosom friend at the mo and shares a pint with Harriet Harpy the chief protagonist in the better deals for women on maternity leave show.Just shows how hypocitical that lot are, what is wrong with being honest when the 12 weeks are up?

[nooka]

Don't you have a repay clause? Where I used to work (which had a great deal) if you didn't come back you had to make a repayment (also used for supporting things like Masters etc).

OP I too have changed jobs when pregnant, although I was a bit further along. I told them when they offered me the job, which was a little underhand I guess, but then they didn't tell me that they were just going into a merger, so I felt we were pretty even. I don't think that you need to tell them at this point, mainly because you aren't that far along, and wouldn't ordinarily be telling anyone.

With a big company I don't think it is unethical really, depending on whether you plan to return. But I think you may only get SMP.

[teenytinypontipines]

I'm going to go to the interview next week anyway. If I am offered the job then I might have to tell them - I'd feel deceitful if I didn't.

Going to have to find out what the maternity pay rights would be - am on 3 months notice so I wouldn't start working there till I was at least 4 months pregnant - which I think means I'd be entitled to diddly squat.

there's also a whole other issue about whether it's a good idea to take on the stress of a new job when pregnant... well I guess I'll cross that bridge if I come to it .

[Doodlez]

For my company, the issue is more or less this:- we take someone on, train them (there's a lot involved), get them up and running then they go off on mat.leave. We can't just ring a temp. agency, it isn't that kind of job. We'd have to cover the mat.leave person's job with existing resource and we just physically cannot.

To take the person on at all is a big leap of faith and risk for us.

It's hard to explain without totally explaining what we do but it would be a bloody big problematic issue for us.

It isn't a case of not showing solidarity. It's just our reality.

[DH00zero]

My wife had the same issue, she didn't tell her potential employer until after she had the job contract signed.

As they are not allowed to take the fact that a woman is pregnant, trying for a baby or the fact that the person is a woman at all into consideration when choosing the candidate for a position, it's discrimination and against anti-discrimination law, it was a non-issue as to whether or not to tell them.

They have no right to know, and it would be naive to believe that it wouldn't affect their decision making.

You're going to have to do it hard any way, by not being in the new position long enough to qualify for their maternity leave policy, you will only be eligible for the government minimum.

[skinsl]

don't you have to be in a job 6 months at a certain point in the pregnancy to qualify for mat pay?

[wannaBe]

I think it is unreasonable to go for a job when you're already pregnant.

Just as unreasonable as it would be if you were going to travel round the world in six months time, or do anything else that would involve you starting a job knowing that you would be leaving again in a matter of months.

And I think an employer should be well within their rights to not employ someone who is already pregnant.

Of course it's different with existing staff, they already work for you and maternity leave is just a part of business. But recruiting staff takes time and money and resources, esp if that member of staff then needs to be trained. If I were an employer I'd be pretty pissed off if I recruited someone only to find out they were planning to leave in three months time and I had to go through the process all over again or compromise my existing staff while they were away for a year.

[skinsl]

thought you were going for a new job, didn't realise you were working. Sounds like it would be a lot of hassle, might be best to stay where you are and take the benefits you are entitled to.

[lovechoc]

I think it's one thing to find out you are pregnant just as you have be given a job (perhaps a few weeks into starting your new position), but it's another to knowingly show up at an interview knowing you are expecting yet still going through with it.

Congrats on the pg though, and good luck with whatever you decide to do.

[AreAnyNamesAvailable]

YANBU to go for the interview when you know you are pregnant. You would be unreasonable to accept the job knowing that you are pregnant without telling them, even if it is before your first scan. If whoever they take for the position needs to give 3 months notice in their current job, the company need to be prepared to start interview proceedings again a few months after you take up the position. If you were trying for a baby it would be different as it could take ages like DC1, but knowing you will only be there a few months it is your responsibility to tell them.
You may not be entitled to maternity leave if you have only worked for them a short while anyway, but check it out.
Also, re: post earlier this am, do check that the job and learning any new skills will not be too stressful at 4 months pregnant, especially if you know that you are doing all the work and may not even be entitled to return to the position.

[jamaisjedors]

I did this.

I was newly-qualified, and the jobs in my sector don't come up very often, what was I supposed to do?

It was very early days and I had already had one miscarriage before 12 weeks so there was no guarantee this pregnancy would go ahead.

I interviewed in January and had to tell them 3 months later that I wouldn't be starting in Sept as planned, but the following Jan.

I think it was a bit of a shock for them but I am public sector and there was no extra cost involved, just cover for 3 months.

I knew I would only be off for the statuatory 12 weeks after the birth (pre-birth leave was during the summer holidays) so it really wasn't that much of a big deal.

I think if you knew you were then planning to take up to a year off it would be a bit unfair tbh, although as my SIL said to me at the time, SOMEONE has got to have the babies!

[OurVera]

You would not be entitled to Statutory Maternity pay as you wont have been there long enough by your qualifying week (15th week before your due date).

You will however be entitled to Maternity Allowance via the government.

They cannot of course discriminate against you if you do tell them you are pregnant at interview stage and if you don't get the job then they need to have watertight reasons for why you were not qualified etc enough.

HOWEVER if you tell them you are pregnant when they offer you the job you are putting them in a position where they cannot really do anything about it as to then rescind the offer is blatant discrimination and they are exposing themselves to litigation.

Despite you being upfront and honest with them and having every right to do this I would be prepared for your bosses and colleagues to be quite pissed off with you (even though they arent allowd to show it) and the first few months of your new job to be unpleasant as the perception will be that you have been very sneaky - not a good way to start off in my opinion and dont expect a decent collection for your 'going off on maternity leave' present!

Its a tricky one - skins has a point though, why not just stay where you are and take your full entitlement?

[DH00zero]

OMG

Just read the responses and all but a couple...O.M.G, talk about own worst enemies, I'm gob-smacked.

"Women are reputed never to be disgusted. The sad fact is that they often are, but not with men; following the lead of men, they are most often disgusted with themselves.- Germaine Greer"

There are reasons why it is internationally recognised to be against the law to discriminate in this way, mainly because, given the chance, people (employers) do.

If we do not want to die out as an egalitarian society, we will have to stop using aversion therapy in order to 'breed out' the people who think they should be treated as equals, and given equal opportunities.

In other words, if you make it too hard to get and maintain a career for a woman who wants children, what you will get is children who believe a woman's place is one that precludes a serious career, as that is all they will have examples of....either that or my wife will be forced to go Napoleon on the planets arse.

vive la empire

[JustAnotherManicMummy]

bernadette I am well aware of the facts. I am also aware that the EU currently recommends more paid maternity leave than women in the UK currently get. Many of the member states offer more maternity pay with the burden shared between employers and state. What is being proposed is just that. A proposal and as such the OP is not going to be able to benefit.

Sweden gives the most pay but allows parents to decide who should take it which means employers are less likely to discriminate against women because it may be the father taking the leave.

And well said DH00zero

[porcamiseria]

are you in employment now?

This is a tough one TBH.

Things to think about are:

are you fully prepared for them to be secretly pissed of when they find out you took job when PG, as like it or not, they will be. First impressions and all that

can you bear to stay in current job (as you only have 9 months left, take mat leave there and then look for a new job?

Is this business a large one, or small/medium

Id be inclined to not go for it right now in all honestly, as I genuinely think the facdft that you lied against them might be held against you

[teenytinypontipines]

I think...

I'm going to go for the 2nd interview as i dont want to pull out now and I want to build a relationship with the company

If I get offered the job then I will withdraw and tell them why (don't want to put them in the position of having to decide, as others have said that's unfair as they would either have to put up with it or face discrimination charges)

But I would tell them I would love to work for them and that I will be free from next summer (or whenever) if something else comes up

its a real wrench as it sounds a great job - but I think i would be putting myself in a very difficult personal and financial position were I to accept

And yes I have a job now which is not my dream job but certainly I can happily put up with it till October.

of course I might not get offered the job anyway in which case maybe Fate is intervening!

[AnnieLobeseder]

teenytiny - I think you've come up with a very ethical and fair solution. If you withdraw, they won't feel pressured into keeping you on, so there won't be bad feelings if you do start work later on. And they will also have the option of telling you that they don't want you to withdraw and still want you to work there. Hopefully this is what will happen.

[rainfatclouds]

Don't like the idea. Think it's a very bad idea actually.

[mumofaboy]

It's a toughie. The thing is, I always feel that some people are so caught up in their rights they don't think about their responsibilities. Yes, of course you have the right to maternity leave and no employer should take pregnancy into consideration when deciding whether to employ or not. But that doesn't mean you should do whatever you like and hang the consequences. It's the same when people take several instances of maternity leave over a short space of time - they have every right to do so (and I'd be up in arms if that right was taken away), but is it really fair on their colleagues? Personally OP I'd go to the interview and get feedback but I don't think I'd take the job. Unless they still really wanted you after you'd come clean.