Porn

[Bubbles01]

Am I being unreasonable for getting upset that my husband keeps looking at porn?

[nickytwotimes]

No.

Not because of the titilation thing which imo is fine, but because it is such misogynistic shite.

[GypsyMoth]

Yes you are being unreasonable

he's a grown man and can look at what he likes and it's not illegal!

[underactivethyroidmum]

Have you discussed his viewing habits with him ?? If so, and you've told/asked him not to view it - then no YANBU

If however you haven't discussed it then YABU a tiny bit

Men have a very different view of sex/porn IMO compared to women and often don't realise how degrading/offensive some women find it. They often fail to appreciate that for some women it can be upsetting to think that your partner is gaining some sort of sexual satisfaction from another source - usually one that features women very different in appearance from themselves.

Have you discussed it with him ?

Do you find the viewing material offensive or is it that he views it without you ?

[tiredbrightonmum]

Well, it depends how often he is looking at it! I'm sure all our husbands/partners take a look, but if it becomes an obsession (which it most certainly can) then that makes it a negative thing which can't be good for either of you. In that situation it's not unreasonable for you to feel concerned. An ex-partner of mine only used to view it (online) during times of extreme stress, when he was feeling particularly vulnerable or down. By definition this made it a very un-positive activity for both him and me. Hope this makes sense, just my thoughts btw :-)

[jaquelinehyde]

YABU I am sure that most men at some point have a good gawp at porn.

However, YANBU if he is watching porn and not being intimate with you. That would need talking about.

[skidoodle]

Legal stuff can still be tacky and unattracive.

Mullets and skin tight trousers are legal but I would not be happy if the man I married had such poor and embarrassing taste.

[GypsyMoth]

Why are you upset op??

[ACretinoidPsychoanal]

is it causing problems in the bedroom?

[AliGrylls]

So long as he still wants to have sex with you then YABU. If not then YANBU.

[Mumcentreplus]

need more info..did you know he watched porn regularly?

[AliGrylls]

Looking at my response far too simplistic - so long as you still have a good love life then YABU.

[Dominique07]

Bubbles would it be better if you chose some together that you know wouldn't be offensive to you or are you totally against the idea of porn?
When I was a teenager and I heard about Porn I thought it sounded really fun and exciting, but to be honest I've never seen any really good stuff, just cheap crappy porn videos that don't normally do much for me.
And anyway if he is watching it alone and you'd just rather not see it then YABU.

[Bubbles01]

Thanks thesecondcoming lol that made me giggle.

I have been suffering with depression and it makes me feel very unattractive and unwanted. I have discussed it with him previously and he knows how it makes me feel. However it hasnt affected anything in the bedroom and he is very loving. After reading your comments I guess I am being unreasonable and the problem is with myself not my husband looking at these sites.

[skidoodle]

No, no, no

Please don't buy into this bullshit that YOU are the one with a problem because you don't love that your husband likes masturbating over nasty, misogynistic pictures of other women.

It makes you feel unattractive and unwanted and HE DOESN'T CARE.

That is shit.

[MillyR]

I wouldn't agree to be in a relationship with someone who viewed pornography, but I think that is the kind of issue you discuss with someone in the reasonably early stages of a relationship. If you didn't make your ethics clear at the start I'm not sure how you would raise it later on.

[Disenchanted3]

WHY SHOULD OMEN ACCEPT THEIR HUSBANDS OGGLING AND TOSSING THEMSELVES OFF OVER OTHER WOMEN???

Nothing wrong with a wank but i think most women dont need to google

'18 year old lad huge cock'

to do so, so why do men feel the need to look for naked women to do it??

women give up their bodies, they get stretch marks, get saggy bellies and loose their perky boobs to give men offspring, why can they not see that looking at other women who have bodies we can never achieve again is hurtful??

[nickytwotimes]

But you are NOT being unreasonable.

Porn is repulsive in that it is SO misogynisitic. How any woman can think it is not highly offensive is beyond me.

I wouldn't mind some erotica myself, but have yet to hear of anything which portrays women as equals and not as objects.

[ShinyAndNew]

YABU. Why not watch it together?

Plus I have to disagree with Skidoodle. If him watching porn makes you feel insecure and unattractive you DO have a problem. You need to work on your self esteem.

Do something noce for yourself. Buy new undies and makie yourself feel sexy, then suggest watching it together. Something soft if you are not into hardcore. I bet you will be the one his attention is focused on and not the plastic fantastic women on screen.

[nickytwotimes]

I seriously can't believe that some women are okay with this and think the op should get over it!

Ffs.

[MillyR]

Do you think that men get told that putting on a new pair of pants will make them feel sexy?

Madness.

[Disenchanted3]

your husband is wanking over girls and its upsetting you.

the solution?

put on some sexy undies and watch the depravity with him,

what a load of tripe, where the hell did you get that idea, just17 magazine?