not to go to work drinks tonight even though they are for someone in my team?

[Smoduck]

Someone in my team is having a baby and everyone is having farewell drinks tonight.

I had leave planned (which I booked after these drinks were planned but I'd known for months that I wanted a few days off now) and am on leave but have had a few calls from people today to try and find out if I am turning up.

I spoke to the lady in question weeks ago - apologised for not coming tonight and told her I'd take her out for lunch next week before she leaves. She seems fine with that - had already thought I wouldn't be there (as I had told my team when I had planned to take leave) and had asked her friend in another department to organise the whole event for her (usually it would fall to your manager to organise something like this, i.e. me but she knows I have to leave on time to get back for the childminder and I'm not a big club person. She is far far younger than me, a spritely thing , and still keen on nightclubs etc.).

She is not bothered at all but now I feel a bit bad.

So should I have made the effort to go?

[spudmasher]

No. I always reserve the right to duck out at the last minute. You were honest. I probably would have faked an upset tummy. Or worse, faked a child's upset tummy.

[emsyj]

If you're taking her out separately next week and she's fine with it then no YANBU. If there is a group going out with her tonight then she will still have a lovely time without you, then the bonus of a nice lunch out (which I assume you will treat her to... ) next week.

[Smoduck]

thanks that makes me feel better

just some twat at work making me feel bad about not going

(he keeps ringing up and saying 'why aren't you coming' 'I think you should you know''everyone in the company is going and you are the only one not there' etc. etc.)

[WhereYouLeftIt]

What is it to him whether you go or not?