Background: My dp's family on his Dad's side (his Mom & Dad are divorced) are an odd lot, all very close-knit, all live 10 mins from each other, see each other around 2 x a week, although I should add that dp's Dad is the only one that bothers to come and see us. That in itself isn't strange, but they all bitch about each other at any given chance, it's all I ever hear when we make the effort to go & see anybody (which, granted, isn't very often, but most of them drive and we don't). Anyway, on birthday's there's some sort of unwritten rule that the whole family will congregate at the home of the person who's birthday it is. Except mine & dp's-I didn't even get a card or a 'happy birthday' from ANY of them (are you seeing a pattern here!?). We did this for our ds's 1st birthday last year, in our tiny little 2 bed semi, and it just did not work. There wasn't enough space for everyone, not enough seats, it was horrible & stressful. Following this, me & dp decided that we wouldn't have one of these 'parties' again, we don't feel that we have to conform to his families 'rules' seeing as though they don't appear to care about seeing us or our dc's. Petty, maybe, but we're happier this way/
The last family gathering was when I had our dd in January. Dp's cousin & his df are the only ones in the family, bar us, that don't drive, and because they're walking distance from us we said we'd walk up to them so they could meet dd, and suggested that we went on a Wednesday when dp's Dad and Nan also visit (weekly visit to see their dc), so they could all see dd at the same time. They were fine with this, their house is much bigger than ours, there's plenty of room for everybody. This all went fine.
Fast-forward to now. Ds's 2nd birthday is coming up, and of course we aren't inviting everybody round to ours, as there's not enough room. We will tell them that if they want to see ds, they can, but only if they all come at different times. Last time we saw dp's cousin's df (call her Sarah)I had a conversation with her about this, and we had a laugh about how ridiculous ds's 1st birthday was. Ok, no problem. BUT dp's Dad came to see the dc on Tuesday, and asked us what time we'd be going to Sarah's on ds's birthday. Cue faces from me & dp. Turns out Sarah has been moaning about us to everybody, saying we had apparently planned to have ds's party at their house, and how she was sick of it, how we only wanted to go there so their house would be trashed instead of ours etc. Now, I made dp's Dad double check with dp's Nan, who was there when the bitching was taking place, that that was definitely what she way saying, and dp's Nan said yes, she definitely had it in her head that we were going there for ds's birthday.
Neither me nor dp have said anything even remotely like that, we'd planned to take ds to a farm for his birthday, and have certaintly not even entertained the idea that we'd have this big family party at somebody elses house.
So, would it be unreasonable of me to ask her what the fuck she's on about why she thought this? I wouldn't mind if she'd just got the wrong end of the stick, and said to me that she'd rather we didn't go up there - in that situation I could just put her right, tell her we never planned that anyway, and that would be that, but she's been moaning and bitching about us to everybody, and quite frankly, it's pissed me off!
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to want to pull her up on this??
6 replies
LucyDeSpiderman · 18/02/2010 16:49
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