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I just rang up the ILs house to ask if one of them could pop round for two minutes to help me make my lunch (I am on crutches and really can't think of how I will manage without someone to carry stuff- I was thinking a tin of soup, so would need help to get the full bowl of hot soup to the table where I could eat it. Can't think of anything I could cook that wouldn't have this problem and can't get out of the house to buy anything)
FIL said that MIL was out and he was watching 2.8 yo DD, but she was looking tired, so he would wait for her to go to sleep, then leave her and come round here. I told him thanks, but not to leave DD alone, I will manage alone. (I have fruit and chocolate bars that I could put in my pocket or something whilst walking, although it isn't ideal as I have to take strong painkillers) He kept insisting, and i am not entirely confident that he won't turn up in ten minutes anyway.
They only live about a three minute walk away (for an able bodied person, if I tried it would take about half an hour, if I could even manage it at all - it takes me fifteen minutes to get to the loo)
I am very very grateful for all their help, but to me it is completely unacceptable to leave a 2 year old alone in a house (there are no baby gates or anything, so she could get in the kitchen, to plugs, etc) for any amount of time, or am I being PFB? If she had only just gone to sleep it is likely she could wake up just as quickly, and she is a very inquisitive child who would be likely to try and make herself a snack or whatever.
I need to get DP to pick me up some sandwich making stuff or something so I could make the food and put it in a bag to carry, so I don't have this problem I think.
What do I do if he turns up at my door now? How can I tactfully say "get straight back to my child this instant, or leave her with me" without sounding horrible?
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to be shocked that FIL would leave DD alone? |
(26 Posts) |
After both my preganncies I was very lucky that the SPD pretty much instantly improved once the extra weight of the baby was off.
The little ache I had afterwards was nothing to the crippling pain I had before birth. I ended up on crutches and was offered bd rest fot the end of both my pregnancies as well.
I would say that 3 weeks post partum apart from the effects of the SPD would hopefully have died down enough for you to cope.
I remember sitting cross legged on my hospital bed straight after birth atually something I hadn't done for months.
The little ache I had afterwards was nothing to the crippling pain I had before birth. I ended up on crutches and was offered bd rest fot the end of both my pregnancies as well.
I would say that 3 weeks post partum apart from the effects of the SPD would hopefully have died down enough for you to cope.
I remember sitting cross legged on my hospital bed straight after birth atually something I hadn't done for months.
How long does it usually take for SPD to ease off? Should I be making plans for it to mean I need help for longer than usual after the section? At the moment my plan is for my mum to come up a week after the baby is born (for the first week I will start off in hospital, and if I get out before the week is up the ILs will help or DP will take time off work) and she will stay for a week, then, as long as I am well enough to be away from the midwife, I will go back to my parents for a week with both kids, then by the time I get back the new baby will be three weeks old and hopefully I will be able to cope by myself or with a little bit of help from ILs. Does this sound ok? Am I likely to be able to walk properly straight after the birth? (apart from obviously the effects of the section)
ilove nope, different reason (DD managed to get so comprehensively stuck they had to do a T shaped cut on my womb to get her out, so now I have a high chance of rupture if I tried for a VBAC)
So when my parents come up I can still take them to see something slightly more interesting then the inside of my house? Probably just a shopping centre, but it will be something different to look at!
So when my parents come up I can still take them to see something slightly more interesting then the inside of my house? Probably just a shopping centre, but it will be something different to look at!
You have my biggest tympathy I have had SPD twice and the 2nd time had a 2 year old at the same time it was hard going.
Most supermarkets have a wheelchair and big shopping centres have the motobility departments where you can hire wheelchairs and motorised scooters.
My friend and I were arguing outside one as she wanted to get me a wheelchair but I thought they wouldn't give me one, the woman and man working in the place told me not to be so blinking stupid and to register and use their service so it was good my friend could puch me around town of an afternoon and dd thought it was hilarious having mummy in a buggy.
Most supermarkets have a wheelchair and big shopping centres have the motobility departments where you can hire wheelchairs and motorised scooters.
My friend and I were arguing outside one as she wanted to get me a wheelchair but I thought they wouldn't give me one, the woman and man working in the place told me not to be so blinking stupid and to register and use their service so it was good my friend could puch me around town of an afternoon and dd thought it was hilarious having mummy in a buggy.
Why are you having a section? It isn't because of the SPD is it?
These are all really useful tips- thanks! I know it is only a short time, but it feels like these are my last few days to enjoy having just DD and not being at the beck and call of a newborn, so they seem more valuable, iyswim. Also I will be pretty immobile after the section as well, so that means that I will probably look back on the time when I "just" had SPD with longing!
Good god, what if the SPD sticks around for a bit? So I will have a newborn, toddler, section scar and SPD? I think I will push that thought to the back of my mind for now...
I'm quite lucky in that DP used to be a carer and my mum is a nurse as well as a carer for my Grandad, so I do have some pretty useful people around when I can't get about so much. When I first got ill, DP actually bathed and dressed me like a pro.
This is all stuff you just don't think about until you need it. It's like when I first had DD, all of a sudden I needed to know where changing facilities and pram access were, it was like looking at the world through new eyes.
Good god, what if the SPD sticks around for a bit? So I will have a newborn, toddler, section scar and SPD? I think I will push that thought to the back of my mind for now...
I'm quite lucky in that DP used to be a carer and my mum is a nurse as well as a carer for my Grandad, so I do have some pretty useful people around when I can't get about so much. When I first got ill, DP actually bathed and dressed me like a pro.
This is all stuff you just don't think about until you need it. It's like when I first had DD, all of a sudden I needed to know where changing facilities and pram access were, it was like looking at the world through new eyes.
oh an our local supermarket and our local shopping centre have wheelchairs that you either borrow or hire for the day to use while you are there. I think they even have those mobility scooters to hire.
cant beleive fil would leave a child alone in a house 
- asleep or not
hope you get more used to crutches soon
yes supermarkets have spare wheel chairs - may be worth phoning them to see if you can book a time slot to have one
or you can hire wheelchairs for £10 a week
not sure of youa area but sure other countys have the same thing
- asleep or nothope you get more used to crutches soon
yes supermarkets have spare wheel chairs - may be worth phoning them to see if you can book a time slot to have one
or you can hire wheelchairs for £10 a week
not sure of youa area but sure other countys have the same thing
what about a little trolley on wheels, that you could load up and push infront of you?
agree with just taking a chair into the kitchen with you, if theres room, might be easier?
also, your hands can get really sore from the crutches so get some nice handcream now and I think i used to wrap my crutch handles in bandages or soemthing soft to stop them rubbing my palms so much
could your dh make up a big bottle of squash and get a box of snacky thing ready before he goes to work?
To your original Q YADNBU at all, there is no way a small child should be left in the house on her own.
Even if she stayed asleep what if there was a fire/break in/he hurt himsself and was unable to get back to the house?
agree with just taking a chair into the kitchen with you, if theres room, might be easier?
also, your hands can get really sore from the crutches so get some nice handcream now and I think i used to wrap my crutch handles in bandages or soemthing soft to stop them rubbing my palms so much
could your dh make up a big bottle of squash and get a box of snacky thing ready before he goes to work?
To your original Q YADNBU at all, there is no way a small child should be left in the house on her own.
Even if she stayed asleep what if there was a fire/break in/he hurt himsself and was unable to get back to the house?
Any more tips will be gratefully received!
If I did want to go out of the house (I'm worried I might get cabin fever as i will be stuck in for a bit after the section too) are there any tips? I walk really, really slowly and painfully, so a wander about is totally out of the question I think, but maybe i could ask someone for a lift to the front door of a cafe? Would I be allowed to do things like use disabled toilets? Do supermarkets have spare wheelchairs I could borrow if I really needed to? My mum and dad are coming up next week, so I will feel a lot better asking them for help then my ILs (ILs are lovely, but are small and retired, so wouldn't really want them to have to help me physically in any way, so I ask DP to help me in and out of bed and so on)
Right, painkiller time, so apologies if I go a little bit odd for a bit!
If I did want to go out of the house (I'm worried I might get cabin fever as i will be stuck in for a bit after the section too) are there any tips? I walk really, really slowly and painfully, so a wander about is totally out of the question I think, but maybe i could ask someone for a lift to the front door of a cafe? Would I be allowed to do things like use disabled toilets? Do supermarkets have spare wheelchairs I could borrow if I really needed to? My mum and dad are coming up next week, so I will feel a lot better asking them for help then my ILs (ILs are lovely, but are small and retired, so wouldn't really want them to have to help me physically in any way, so I ask DP to help me in and out of bed and so on)
Right, painkiller time, so apologies if I go a little bit odd for a bit!
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