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AIBU?

AIBU to be irritated by party invite?

21 replies

catwalker · 13/05/2009 21:18

I have an invite to a birthday party this Saturday - not a close friend, more of an acquaintance. She's put on the invitation that presents aren't necessary, but if we do want to get her something then she'd like vouchers from a particular retailer (won't say which in case she's a Mumsnet user!)

I wouldn't dream of turning up without a gift, but would probably have just gone for some nice flowers or a good bottle of wine. I now feel that these wouldn't be acceptable and feel slightly irritated as I'll probably need to end up spending more on vouchers. Am I being over-sensitive or is there something not quite right about trying to control what people other than close family get you for a birthday present?

OP posts:
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squeaver · 13/05/2009 21:20

I think she's being more than a bit cheeky.

And I don't think you should take anything.

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onepieceofcremeegg · 13/05/2009 21:22

She is cheeky.

In your position I would get a bottle of wine, hand it over with a and say happy birthday, got you this instead of a present.

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TheCrackFox · 13/05/2009 21:23

Give her a voucher for a £1.00. Cheeky mare.

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Blondeshavemorefun · 13/05/2009 21:31

why is she cheeky?

she didnt say you HAD to get her a pressie - if you dont want to get vouchers then just give her a card

my friend, whose birthday is this weekend,has also asked for vouchers .................



though i am actually giving her cash as havent managed to get to the shop she wants

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ChippingIn · 13/05/2009 21:33

To go against the grain... I don't think she's being cheeky... I hate the whole present drama! (I spend HOURS and HOURS trying to get the 'perfect' present). I think she was more trying to say - I really don't want presents, but if you are one of those people who can't bear to turn up without a present then a voucher from so and so is something I would love to have... which, to me, would be a godsend of an answer to the present dilemma!! I am equally sure she would love wine, flowers etc - but probably not another cut crystal glass from a well meaning auntie

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posieparker · 13/05/2009 21:34

If anyone ever requests presents I like to donate to charity on their behalf..... but I don't have many friends left...

[wonders if there is a connection emoticon]

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Blondeshavemorefun · 13/05/2009 21:51

excalty chippingin - you prefer to get a pressie they want and not spend £10+ on a pressie they dont want

vouchers and cash are a godsend to me

i am also one of THOSE people who are happy to give vouchers at weddings

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TrillianAstra · 13/05/2009 22:00

SHe might be ebing cheeky. Or she might be being frugal and honest. She's your friend, not ours, you tell us if YABU or not.

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Reallytired · 13/05/2009 22:07

I can't see what your issue is. Surely if you are going to bring her flowers or wine then you would spend at least £5 to £10.

What she is saying is that she would rather put everyone's money together to get something useful than have lots of money wasted on cr*p!

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Louby3000 · 13/05/2009 22:16

I think it is cheeky for an adult to even expect presents from their mates and aquaintences! I would make no mention of presents at all on a party invite! I think that it is presumptious.

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wotulookinat · 13/05/2009 22:19

YANBU.

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BabyBump2B · 13/05/2009 22:19

I agree she's not being cheeky. Sometimes things are super busy and after being asked a bunch of times its easier to let people know all at once.

She's not demanding that all presents only come from XXX but she's saying "Hey, if you want to get me something but have no idea what this is what I like." I'd be glad she's cut my looking time short.

And if you want to take flowers or wine then do that - its not like she's going to disown you!

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marymungoandmidge · 13/05/2009 22:22

I probably would take a present...but would choose something I felt was appropriate not something from her list! It's rather crass for her mention this on an invite! Are you sure you want to go?

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Louby3000 · 13/05/2009 22:25

marymungoandmidge- It is totally Crass. Loving the use of crass.

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lunamoon2 · 13/05/2009 22:43

YANBU especially as she is not a very close friend.
I think you should always wait to be asked what you would like for a present, before stating what it is you would like.

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YouLukaAmazing · 13/05/2009 22:45

Message withdrawn

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Sassybeast · 13/05/2009 22:50

YANBU - cheeky cow. I'd expect an adult invite to say 'No pressies please-all i want is your company' or something equally twee. Go for the bottle of wine - a cheap one!

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BecciTimto · 14/05/2010 13:20

I understand that she doesn't want a load of presents she doesnt need - maybe she's trying to be environmentally friendly? reducing the 'waste' aspect of the birthday?
Though asking for vouchers from friends that aren't that close is a bit cheeky as they probably wouldnt spend that much!

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Firawla · 14/05/2010 13:32

I think it does come across a bit rude, slightly grasping. If she doesnt want presents just say "no presents" even that is a bit presumptious that people will all buy a present anyway, it's better just to say nothing and if they do give then accept it happily?
If you feel that irritated by it though I would just get nothing, otherwise just buy the voucher

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lorelilee · 14/05/2010 13:44

As I always say - "It's MY birthday, I can do what I like", thus, if she wants vouchers, she gets vouchers - it's not as if she's dictating to what value!

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pamelat · 14/05/2010 14:09

I think its really rude. You get token presents (if anything) for birthdays.

I think its become acceptable at weddings but not for a birthday!!

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