I think I am, but not too sure

[JODIEhavingababy]

Right, here goes....

My mum and dad live in Spain and my mum is always moaning that they have no money to spoil my sister (who is travelling in Oz), My DS or me. Which is fine because we don't need spoiling. They have run (ran?) up loads of credit cards, which are now registered to our house as they have moved and regularly miss payments so we get nasty letters and phone calls, Mum does sort stuff out eventually, but she's so disorganised..

Anyway, Mum is coming on Monday for 5 days to help me shop for new baby things and has often hinted that she won't be able to afford much (as I said, fine, I just wanted her to be part of the 'process') and today a bloody great HUGE bag of stuff has arrived from Marks and Spencers that she's ordered off the internet!!!!

I know it's her money and she can do what she wants with it, but on the other hand I haveto hear her whinge all the time coz MIL is always buying little things for DS and she can't, also that MIL spends a day a week with DS (while I work) and she can't (I didn't ask her to move) I'm just at the end of my tether with her.

I know I'm not asking for advice as such, just some where to vent!

[OverMyDeadBody]

Family eh!

vent away! I guess your mum is justtrying to be a bigger part of it all and maybe (subconsciously?) feels the only way to showherlove is to buy it?

Some people are just bad with money though and always live beyond their means, sounds like your mum may be like that!

[JODIEhavingababy]

I know I know, she's always been the same, my sister and I have never really gone without, we are really lucky compared to soem people. It was just the last straw today when this delivery turned up....

I know it sounds crazy but everytime another bill turns up I think if anything happens to them I'd be stuck with about £30,000 worth of debt. Or every time another company calls for them, it's whether I'll get a 'black mark' on the house...... (we even had a bailiff once!)

[lollipopmother]

There are forms you can fill in to remove any ties between other people and your house so that you don't get black listed for their debt, maybe you could look into it, it's what parents do when their children end up bankrupting themselves!

[JODIEhavingababy]

Hopefully they have changed all the addresses now, I think she plans on doing the last ones while she's here next week. It's just a pain!

[tigana]

I second what justabouta and lollipop said.
You are bearing the brunt and the risk of your parents spending nore than they can afford. If your mum is still spending, despite you getting hassled for her bad debts then she is being unreasonable.

Do what Lollipopmother said and protect yourself from damage to your credit from your parents problems.

Suspect your mum is trying to compensate for not being around her Grandchildren as much as their other Grandparent(s. Not your fault. Like you said, she decided to move countries! How old is DS? Old enough to apprectaite getting his own post through the door? get your mum to send him weekly letters or postcards or something and make her part of his life that way?

[JODIEhavingababy]

He is only 19 months, but letters and postcards are a brill idea, I might suggest that! This package from M & S is a skirt and top for her!