i probably am as no full details but need a rant about school

[NaughtyNigel]

DD is 10 and has a few 'issues'. has hated school since last autumn and has a few health issues ongoing- she's being tested for coeliacs.
came home today in a tizz saying she'd been moved tables - to the one the TA is based on.
Now DD is by no means G n T but doesn't do nearly as well as she could - she is easily distracted and gives up on things she finds difficult. I can never get her to read at home - we do manage weekly maths homework but thats about it. she'd rather be watching TV or out on her bike.
She often says she's bored at school and doesn't want to try anything because its not interesting enough. Also the class she is in is renowned for being the 'difficult' one in the school - there are lots of children with behavioural and learning difficulties (who pop in and out to the SLC during the day). There are frequently children having to be physically removed from the class - all v dispruptive. The school is well aware of the class problems and has put in extra support for the teacher (who is really nice but very new) and behaviour plans etc.

Now the table DD has been moved to seems to consist of children well below DDs abilities. I've known most of them since pre-school days. and forgive me for sounding a huge snob but they all come from fairly deprived families and don't get much suport at home and a few of them have behaviour problems to boot.

I know DD isn't the brightest or best behaved child in the class but AIBU to be a bit put out? I think that by sitting her with this group won't help her at all. she already gets bored and frustrated by the work and behaviour in the class and i know she can be easily led into bad behaviour by others. I'll be having a word tomorrow.

[Lulumama]

maybe they are doing different work ,and having more support, that will help them progress ?

i thikn you are being unfair to the other children

your DD is not achieving as well as she might and is easily distracted and difficult. how do you know that the other children are below her ability level? maybe they all have similar issues and working together with teh TA is a good thing and a positive move forward

[NaughtyNigel]

yes i get the extra support from the TA bit - and yes would be a good idea but we live in a very small area - i know these children and having always helped out at pre-school through to big school I've seen them in action and yes - they are way below what she can do abilitywise.

[mrz]

"Now DD is by no means G n T but doesn't do nearly as well as she could - she is easily distracted and gives up on things she finds difficult. I can never get her to read at home - we do manage weekly maths homework but that's about it. she'd rather be watching TV or out on her bike."

"and forgive me for sounding a huge snob but they all come from fairly deprived families and don't get much support at home and a few of them have behaviour problems to boot."

ooops!

[Lulumama]

but i don;t get it

your DD is not achieving as well as she might, and neither are these DCs, but somehow, your DD is better than those DCs

you are sounding like a crashing snob, i;m afraid

[Kitti]

If she's upset that she's been moved tyables then I think you need to speak to the teacher as that may affect her willingness to learn. It's no good her being unhappy. If however she is happy on her new table then it doesn't matter about the ability/behaviour of the other kids so long as she's happy and it's not disrupting her learning which it shouldn't if the TA is there to keep control and give extra support. It sounds like she may need a little extra help and if the teacher has recognised this then that's a good thing. Try to stay positive and not to worry too much.

[NaughtyNigel]

I know i sound like a crashing bloody snob but
DD is bright I know she is cos i'm not daft and am involved with my childrens school lives. I do sit and read to them. I do make sure homework is done and i do help out in school.

out of the other 5 other children now sitting with her

one sits under the table for hours pinching the other childrens legs. - unless he is removed screaming from the class, one - can barely read, one is a sweet girl but a bit dim etc etc

so ive not been terribly PC but some children are a bit dim and some need some help. Dammit DD needs some help but would it be unreasonable for me to point out that sitting her with children with behavioural problems will be somewhat distracting for her and perhaps not the best way to help her.

[NaughtyNigel]

she's not happy - she recognises she gets distracted and comes home in tears almost daily because of the ruckus that goes on when some of the children go off.

[NaughtyNigel]

mrz - actually my description there has me chuckling now- will start a new thread about my behaviourally challenged DD and the problems of her not living up to her parental expectations.

[mrz]

NaughtyNigel I think the answer is in your first post "she is easily distracted and gives up on things she finds difficult" ..."She often says she's bored at school and doesn't want to try anything because its not interesting enough." is this an excuse? is she bored or is she struggling?
"I can never get her to read at home- we do manage weekly maths homework but that's about it. she'd rather be watching TV or out on her bike." You need to ask yourself why the school have placed her on a table with support. It sounds from your post that it could be because she needs to be there.

[Blandmum]

Maybe the move in tables will get her to pull her finger out and do some work.

And if you are finding it difficult to get her to work, when you have her 1 to 1, with far more meaningful sanctions than the teacher, how easy do you think it is for the School to get her to work?

I think that you are being wildly snobbish about the other children and you should be concentrating on what you can do to get your child to work to er ability

[Lulumama]

not sure what to suggest, but i hope she does not know what you thikn of the other children on teh table !!

[NaughtyNigel]

Have just had an interesting flash of internet insight.
reread original post - i sound shocking.
the problem with this sort of discussion is that to start at the beginning is so boring and tedious that i end up skimming over the surface and not expaining very well what is going on. of course - you reading this can't read with any sort of knowledge about me, my DD, the school, background etc etc.
so all you see is me being a shocking snob - and appearing to be claiming to be supportive parent while sounding like i have no idea what i'm talking about.
as i said the whole school, DD, behaviour, health stuiff is so long winded and tedious i can't be arsed to do it all over again.
please ignore the original post
DD isn't happy at school. I know why not, i'll go in for a chat and sort it out. THE END

[harpsichordcarrier]

best of luck Naughty Nigel
it all sounds very difficult

[Lulumama]

hope it works out x

[Lulumama]

hope it works out x

[mrz]

Perhaps start by saying she can't watch TV until she has read her book and she can't go out on her bike until she has done her homework might be a start.

[cory]

She is 10 years old. If she does not have special needs then I think it is perfectly reasonable to expect her to take some responsibility for her work.

I understand that the situation at school is distracting for her, but this might be the perfect time to show her that she has some control over what happens to her. (Assuming that her abilities are indeed enough to warrant a higher place.) Ask her if she reckons she can lift herself to the next table by doing extra work at home. Offer extra support.

Explain to her that at school, as in life, we are only ever judged on the work we actually do, not on what we could do if the situation was different. It's up to her to show the teachers what she can do.

But be prepared for the possibility that she may need to be on the table she is on now and that boredom may be a cover for actual struggling. I have certainly found that my ds, who struggles academically, has complained far more of boredom than dd, who has tended to sail through.