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AIBU?

Normally when someone posts here, they have rough idea about whether they are or not, but I've genuinely not a clue....

33 replies

lissielouwithbunnyears · 22/03/2008 07:58

I have a group of friends that Ive known most of my life. 1 of them iveknown since i was 2. he gave me away when dh & i married, i was best bird at his wedding and his dw is expecting their 1st baby. 2 of them are married (1 i have known since the 1st day of primary school, the other since year 8) she was my maid of honour, and i was hers. and 1 ive known since year7, he now lives with his girlf but we dated on and off for about 4y. when we split up we worked v hard not to let it affect our other friends, and we are both v proud of the fact that it didnt. we have stayed v good friends, and tb h now i dont see him as "S, my ex", he is "S, my friend".

dh goes out every weekend with his mates, i moan about it, but dont stop him. we had talked bout going out together tonight, but he went out with his mates last night and we had discused just staying in with a bottle of wine instead. last night, after dh got in i had a text from S, he and the lad ive known since i was 2 are going out in the town i live in tonight for a few beers and they wanted to now if i could come too. i really want to go, but dh doesnt like them. particularly S, so he doesnt want to go.

i make the effort with his friends, and have never cheated on him. i understand why he has trouble with S, but last night he was ranting saying i was taking the piss, and if he went out with an ex i'd go mad (not true, i trust him ffs)dh has sulkily said that he will look after ds and i can go, but i know that if i do then he will sulk all weekend, but i hardly ever get to see my friends, AIBU?

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posieflump · 22/03/2008 08:00

yanbu

he is being immature

go and have a nice time

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lissielouwithbunnyears · 22/03/2008 08:02

thanks, S and i split up 11y ago btw!

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lissielouwithbunnyears · 22/03/2008 08:03

about 6m before dh and i got together.

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NickiSue · 22/03/2008 08:05

Absolutely not. Go and have a fab time.
You trust him, he should trust you. NOT going would set a precedence and could even be seen (to him) as youre not going because you admit there is something wrong with you seeing s the friend, which there isnt. Make a stand and ignore the sulk!

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lissielouwithbunnyears · 22/03/2008 08:12

thanks, i mean its a quiet drink in the pub ffs, we arent going fecking clubbing!

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WanderingTrolley · 22/03/2008 08:13

YANBU

I can see his point about the ex in a way - but it's not like you and S broke up a year ago, is it? I suspect this is a lot less about trusting you than peeved you're going out to enjoy yourself with your mates when that's 'his' thing.

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chelsygirl · 22/03/2008 08:14

go and enjoy yourself, you deserve it!

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lissielouwithbunnyears · 22/03/2008 08:19

that had crossed my mind WT, he keeps telling me that he doesnt stop me seeing my friends, then something like this happens!

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suey2 · 22/03/2008 08:25

could he just be moaning because you moan when he goes out with his mates? YANBU wanting to go out, but if you don't let him go out graciously then he is unlikely to offer you the same courtesy

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lissielouwithbunnyears · 22/03/2008 08:28

its possible suey, tbh i dont moan as such, but he has a habit of coming home 2h later than he said he would, and going out at about 5pm, which means i have to wrestle dinner down ds and then wrestle him to bed etc, but thats a v good point...

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CantSleepWontSleep · 22/03/2008 08:33

No. Your dh IBU.

Have a lovely time.

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suey2 · 22/03/2008 08:35

ah- that's different! I HATE that. I woudl definitely go, but not try to have a conversation about how fair it is with him. Just go and enjoy yourself- let him bring it up if he wants to make you feel guilty- don't do it to yourself in an effort to appease him

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BBBee · 22/03/2008 08:37

YANBU

I think he is not too happy about a night in on his own and so is using the ex thing to get at you - as you said you have given him no other reason to feel bad about this.

Go - wear eyeshadow and have fun.

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lissielouwithbunnyears · 22/03/2008 08:53

thanks everyone. i will!

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KimiKilledTheEasterBunny · 22/03/2008 09:02

He is being childish, go out with your friends.

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DevilwearsPrada · 22/03/2008 09:57

Its due on Monday.

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DevilwearsPrada · 22/03/2008 09:58

ooops wrong thread sorry

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edam · 22/03/2008 10:01

Ignore the miserable bugger, go out and enjoy yourself. What's sauce for the gander...

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FAQ · 22/03/2008 10:04

lol @ Devil

Agree with the others just ignore him and go out nd have fun

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lentengrrl · 22/03/2008 10:05

yanbu. no way...

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Blueskythinker · 22/03/2008 10:29

I can understand him being a bit pissed off, but I really don't think you should let it stop you going out. I would do my best to be sweet and gracious, and ask him if he is sure he doesn't want to come, because it would be sooo much better if he was there.

Ignore the sulking before & after (difficult as this may be).

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lissielouwithbunnyears · 22/03/2008 10:46

well, its official, i am going out. im getting a few "jokey" comments, but im determined to go out and have fun.

see, i can be assertive!

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FriedGreenTomatoes · 22/03/2008 10:51

Have a great time - you deserve it!

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lissielouwithbunnyears · 22/03/2008 10:52

i will, thank you!

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lissielouwithbunnyears · 22/03/2008 15:39

he read this thread and has been ok since.

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