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AIBU?

To feel that, at 4 dd is too young to be expected to be completely responsible for her things?

12 replies

ElectraBunny · 21/03/2008 15:20

Dd goes to school and inevitably comes home with bits of her uniform / PE kit missing. Everything is named and there are not many children in her class (this isn't a 30 in a class situation).

I feel that while I should be encouraging her to become responsible for her belongings, it is a lot to expect her to be able to completely so at her age, especially when they have so many different things to keep track of - coat, hat, scarf, lunch overall, painting overall, rest of uniform, 2 different bags, whatever she took in for show & tell etc.

So it is a little annoying to have to keep replacing things. Do you all have this problem to and any constructive tips that I can try to avoid this?

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bozza · 21/03/2008 15:22

Well seen as how this school year 7yo DS has lost several hats yes probably it is a bit of a tall order. I assume you name everything though and your school has a lost property?

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ElectraBunny · 21/03/2008 15:26

Yes, but I think stuff ends up in the wrong bags, etc and then it's very hard to keep track of where it goes. I don't see a solution for it as I can't be there with her to make sure her stuff gets put away and goes back on its peg.

A couple of weeks ago her lunch overall disappeared, and appeared again absolutely filthy and covered in muck. So I took it home, cleaned it, put it back on her peg the following week and by Thursday it had disappeared again.

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perpetualworrier · 21/03/2008 15:26

We sometimes have something missing at home time, but the teacher is very helpful in finding a lost glove/PE kit etc. Also anything with a name in always turns up in the end.

DS1 (7) has manged to lose his swimming bag between the car and the pool this afternoon though!

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windygalestoday · 21/03/2008 15:32

school law dictates -
anything new will get lost

anything found in its place will be dirty and or ripped

if you are lucky enough to get lost item back it will be dirty

i find (after bitter experience) the only way to keep on top is to go in every day and look for lost stuff after 24 hours it becomes a bermuda triangle ....my ds1 lost a baseball cap- it turned up 3 years later!! he walked out school like nothing was funny lol

i also used to do a round up of lost stuff in school collect all jumpers and stuff and if tagged return to owner if not i wshed them all and put them in a cupboard assuming teachers would give them to kids as needed my sons finished primary last year and at the school fair much money ws raised selling all this uniform that school had aquired

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cazzybabs · 21/03/2008 15:39

its tough but as a teacher I have 18 coats, socks, jumpers to keep track of. When do I have time to hunt for them? DO I spend class teaching time looking for them or do I give my my break times (which I usually spend preparing the classroom or drinking a cold cup of tea and queing for the loo) - so I find it tough to look for children's lost things although I do when I have the time.

I just thing you have to not mind losing things, going throuhg lost property on a reguglar basis and make sure everything is named.

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Reallytired · 21/03/2008 15:41

Don't you have a lost property box. My son is in a large primary school and we get most of his stuff back eventually from the lost property box. You might have to go to the school office to look though.

I would sew her gloves on elastic to her coat. Get her a coat with a non detachable hood instead of a hat. I would encourage to keep her object for show and tell in her book bag. Prehaps if she keeps on losing her packed lunch I would change her to school dinner to give her one less thing think about.

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Youcannotbeserious · 21/03/2008 18:22

I'm surprised at 4YO, they are having to bring so much stuff..........

Attach as much to her coat as possible, gloves, scarf etc., as RT says, can be attached to the coat...

And maybe you could have a word with the school?

I'm afraid my parents TOTALLY expected me and my sister to be responsible for our stuff... (even at this age) even on holiday, if we wanted to bring toys, we had to carry them and be responsible for them. I can remember times when I'd obviously left something where ever we'd been sitting and my dad would just shrug his shoulders in a sort of 'not my problem' sort of way.

(To be fair, I VERY rarely lose anything and get upset when I do, but I don't recommend this method!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

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3littlefrogs · 21/03/2008 18:30

Ds2 once came home dressed entirely in someone else's clothes. I was baffled until I realised they had had PE and he must have put on the clothes of the person who had the peg next to his He was 8 BTW.

It helps if names are sewn on in big letters, and, as has been mentioned, gloves are on elastic attached to coat etc.

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Syrupent · 22/03/2008 18:03

It goes on and on, ElectraBunny (great name for Easter BTW!). DS2 (12) regularly looses stuff. In Prm school I used to go on sneaky patrols to find lost items after school had finished. The cleaners didn't like it though. The lost property box rarely bore fruit, but a teacher told me I could take any jumper that had no name in as a replacement. Did it once but felt guilty when the original turned up & I had to sneak the one I took back into the box.

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bohemianbint · 22/03/2008 19:25

I'm not entirely responsible for my own at 31, TBH.

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sunnydelight · 23/03/2008 10:48

We've been told at my kids' school that any unnamed items go straight to the uniform shop to be sold on as second hand - only named items will go in lost property to be retrieved. Not sure about how it focuses the kids' minds but it's certainly focused mine to get sewing

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ElectraBunny · 26/03/2008 11:16

Thanks for replies. I do agree that it's hard for the teacher to spend class time doing it. LOL at some of the stories

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