to be a bit cheesed off with dh even thought I feel very sorry for him

[Greensleeves]

last night dh went out to get a takeaway for us, less than 1/4 of a mile from our house, he went on his bike and left it outside the chippy while he popped in to get food. While he was waiting he saw a teenaged boy trying to take his bike, so he ran out and said "oi stop it, that's mine" or words to that effect. The boy ran round the corner and then came back with two lads of about 18/19, one of whom was his brother. They basically surrounded dh and started insulting him, saying stuff like "long-haired twat" and "I slept with your wife last night" etc etc. DH didn't react. DH was also pretty sure the older two were "on something" (not just booze). The biggest one shoved his forehead up against dh's and said "aren't you going to push back?" and dh said "No, of course not, I don't want to fight you". So the git headbutted dh in the face and then they all ran off.

DH now has a big swollen bump on his nose. He was very shaken and actually tearful when he came back . I tried to persuade him to call the police, but he said he couldn't give a description so there was no point. I did manage to get him to call the police, but he totally downplayed it and basically told them not to bother coming to take a statement because he couldn't remember what they looked like, and that the swelling on his nose wasn't serious, etc. So they didn't take a statement.

I am a bit hacked off, although I can see where dh was coming from. It pisses me off that those little turds could just pick on a total stranger and treat him like this. It really, really angers me, in fact. And also if they were in the state dh describes they will probably have assaulted/upset other people last night too.

AIBU?

[Greensleeves]

yes, a bit - I think people have a duty to report this sort of thing.

I am being kind and sympathetic to him though of course, even though he knows I don't agree with him about the police.

[hunkermunker]

I'd be cheesed off too.

Poor DH though - hard to feel cheesed with somebody who's had that happen to them

Which is no doubt why you feel all twisty about it. Gah!

[HappyDaddy]

I can understand how you feel, but also how DH feels. He probably feels embarrassed that it happened to him as well as very sad about it. I'd probably down play it too. I'd feel very very helpless.

[Greensleeves]

Yes - twisty - that's exactly how I feel

I feel terribly sorry for dh, it was awful seeing him all shaky and tearful, but I'm afraid my main response is to want to pulverise the little savages.

[themoon66]

I'd be fuming. So no, YANBU.

[maisemor]

I feel so sorry for your husband. I hope he is feeling better again soon.

I can understand your anger, and you wanting to make them understand that they can ruin people's lives by going around acting like this.

However until it happens to you, you really can not say that if it was you you would definately report it to the police. Imagine your husband's humiliation. He has to tell it to you and he is crying or on the verge. No man that I know would want another man or woman to see him cry, and feeling so shaky and upset he probably would cry again if he had to make a statement to the police.

Who is to say that they did not threaten him in the process. He might fear that they followed him home.

[maisemor]

That should be can NOT go around ruining other people's lives. ups

[maisemor]

Oh for goodness sake just ignore me

[doggiesayswoof]

Hmmmm

I see both sides, I think.

If your dh contacted the police, it's more than likely that nothing would happen (they wouldn't catch them, or if they did, it would be a caution or something). Then you would possibly both be boiling with rage that the little shites didn't actually get their comeuppance at all.

So maybe he doesn't want to waste energy on it?

[doggiesayswoof]

Re-read posts and realised I do agree with Greeny about having a duty to report such things. But OTOH, police involvement is rarely that constructive in this sort of situation. Can see exactly why you are so

[meandmyflyingmachine]

My DH would be the same. Only he would shrug it off with me too I think. He would be mortified that it had happened.

Bt yes, of course these things need to be reported.



Hope he's getting over it.

[GoingThroughChanges]

Hi. Your poor Dh. No-one should be made to feel like that over their own property.

Did anyone see it happen? did the staff at the chip shop know who the young men were?

Perhaps if they did there would be some point reporting it?

[arfishy]

Well good for your DH for not retaliating and no wonder you're . I would be livid if a bunch of drugged up little turds had done this to my DP.

Report them if you can, but I expect that even if the police get involved nothing will be done that teaches them a lesson (unlike the crocodile clips and electricity on the gonads approach that I'd take would)