to be pissed off with my dp..................

[upsetgirll]

He rang me today from work, was a bit pushed for time and cut me short when I was telling him about a wedding invitation my family have received today. I didn't get a chance to explain that I was going to ask to add him on to the invite when he went off on one, raging about weddings in general and him not being invited. I didn't get a chance to explain that the invitation wasn't from within my family, the bride's parents had written it, probably with information from my aunt/uncle or my cousin, none of whom probably are aware that I'm dating someone. It doesn't help that he doesn't like my family anyway so I doubt that he'd attend but personally I'm looking forward to it. It's a do in a posh hotel with an overnight stop and a chance to catch up with my family .

He cut the convo short and later on texted me to demand that I destroy letters/photos from my dd's father as I was 'so unreasonable' on the phone as I expressed myself as being pissed off that he didn't let me finish speaking earlier!! Instead of dealing with that issue which is fairly minor on the face of it... he's now dragged this into it (the fact I've held onto this stuff is seen as a slur to him and he wants it destroyed which so far I've resisted as I consider that they belong to my dd). Anyway.... rant over.

AIBU??

[callmeovercautious]

NO

Sounds like he was looking for a row.

Do not destroy your DDs memories of her Daddy. How would you explain that to her in years to come? Put them away in a nice box in the loft so you can give it to her when she is older.

[lulumama]

he demands you destroy letters & photos from your DDs father !

i would give those to someone you can trust, to look after them , to make sure he doesn;t do it in a fit of spite.

her father will always be her father, and he has no right to decide if she can have letters etc from him

[lizziemun]

No YANBU.

What right does he think he got to demand that you destroy your DD things.

How old is he.

I'm sorry but he sounds like he wants to control you.

[SenoraPostrophe]

he's obviously incredibly insecure.

which, to be frank, is something you can't be doing with when you have a child. not only are you nbu, but if he was my dp I'd be seriously thinking about the future of the relationship.

[Flibbertyjibbet]

Are you only dating him? Then get rid. If he can't accept that your dd has a father then things will only get worse in the future.

[upsetgirll]

He thinks that I've kept the stuff as I've still got feelings for my xp even though he's engaged and/or married to someone else by now for all I know. I only kept the stuff initially as my xp threatened to tell my dd that we'd not had a relationship as such (even though we'd dated for a long time) and it was to disprove this to her later on.... fast forward a few years and this 'ner ner ner yah boo sucks to you' nastiness has gone but I still feel a bit as though this stuff isn't 'mine' to destroy - and certainly not on the whim of my bf/dp. Perhaps I am keeping it for the 'wrong' reasons but isn't that for me to worry about rather than him using it as a metaphorical stick to beat me with in argumenets? It's not as though the stuff is out on display.

[Flibbertyjibbet]

You didn't say whether you are just dating him or whether he is more of a partner?
If you have any doubts AT ALL you need to put your daughter first.
Did you manage to get him added on to the invite?

[upsetgirll]

tbh, it's the last thing I've thought about doing today. I took my dd out for a day in London which was really nice and just what I needed . My bf/dp and I don't live together yet (he lives quite a long way from me), we've been dating for over a year, but I had started considering as my partner more than a bf iyswim. I'm not going to shred anything just because he told me to (I may have 'unhealthy' reasons for hanging onto this stuff but that's for me to sort out in my mind imho).