To expect my 3 year old to stay in his room until the bunny clock wakes up?

[JoshandJamie]

My first ever AIBR post - and I genuinely want to know if I am being unreasonable.

My 3 year old has always been an early waker. Recently he's improved slightly by sleeping till 6 instead of 5am. Now his younger brother has taken over the 5am wake up slot. Sigh.

I have tried for months and months to explain to the 3 year old, that if the bunny clock is still sleeping that means mommy is still sleeping and that he must stay in his room reading books or playing with toys until the clock wakes up.

But every bloody day he comes through to our room (which by this point invariably has younger brother in my bed because he's been up half the night yelling and has finally passed out) and the 3 year old either:

• starts yelling because he wants us all up OR
• gets into my bed and starts writhing around, scraping toenails down my back etc.

Ultimately he wakes up the little one which means game over, the day starts.

Am I being completely unrealistic trying to make him stay playing in his room for an extra 30 mins to an hour (depending on when he wakes up). Is he just to young to get it? And if so, when will he be able to understand this?! Because I wake up in a foul mood every morning now and it makes me ratty with him all day.

Three years of 5am starts is starting to wear a little thin.

[mrsjohnsimnelcake]

i can't imagine that my 3.5yr old would do this- sorry.
He is just too young. My ds1 wakes and immediately wantd food. If we don't give it quickly enough then tantrum ensues.

I know it is not what you wnt to hear, but i think he is far too young. Not sure when he will be able to understand, but it may well be some months/yrs!

[piglit]

No advice really but wanted to say I understand where you are coming from! I have 2 early rising dses who are 2.6 and 1.6 (both wake at 5 - 5.15) and the only way we can deal with it is to go to bed ridiculously early. Both dh and I are early risers so I guess they've inherited that from us.

[JoshandJamie]

[LucyJones]

the only thing that might be worth a go is taking him downstairs as soon as you hear him and sticking some kids TV on and give him a beaker of milk. Then sneak back upstairs for a nap.
It must be better just to either do that or get him up than have him wake his younger brother

[FrannyandZooey]

Sorry, we can explain all we like, but if they are too young to get it, they are too young

you will have to start going to bed a lot earlier - there isn't much else you can do, is there?

[piglit]

Do you have a dh/dp who you could take it turns with to go downstairs with ds1? We sometimes do this. Eg dh takes the dses downstairs, puts a dvd or cbeebies theme tune thing on (if before 6) and gets their toys out. I get an extra hour's sleep.

[JoshandJamie]

lucyjones - I've tried that, and it does buy me about 15 mins, but then he comes back upstairs saying in an accusatory voice: you left me all on my own.

A friend of mine has trained her 3 year old to heat his own milk in the microwave - she sets up all up the night before, so he just has to go downstairs, take the milk out of the fridge and push a button on the microwave. She also sets up the right tv channel and has shown him which button to push.

He is about six months older than my DS though - and our microwave and TV aren't quite as easy to set.

[Blandmum]

I don't think that my kids would have done that at 3! sorry They were5-6 wakers for the longest time

In fact ds, who is 7 , only really got the hang of the concept to 'lie in on the weekend' at 6.

Sorry.

Can you get more sleep my getting to bed 30 minutes earlier? This is what we had to do to stop the early morning rattiness.....I am a fellow sufferer

[JoshandJamie]

My DH and i do take turns to get up but my DH travels for business a lot so i end up doing most of it.

The other thing is, he completely understands the concept of the bunny clock. He even brings it through saying: bunny is still sleeping. It's very early.

And I say: yes it is, and mommy's still sleeping too.

But that's where the comprehension stops. Sigh

[ballbaby]

You poor thing. Just wondering if it is the light that wakes him up and might it be an idea to blackout the room. It worked to some extent with my early waker. I didn't get blackout blinds but stuffed old beach towels round the curtains to give the same effect.

Also he probably wants to get up because he knows your other dc is in your bed and is jealous. Personally I don't think you're being unreasonable and would get tougher with both of them. Surely a better rested non-cranky mum is going to be able to give them more positive attention during hte day?

[Blandmum]

Don't to the microwave milk thing btw. You can get hot spots in the milk that can really burn their mouth, and 3 is took young to be reliable about shaking it after zapping IMHO

[FrannyandZooey]

He probably understands, JandJ, but he hasn't yet got the self-control to not come in and wake you

you wouldn't leave him on his own for an hour at any other time of day, would you? It's not really reasonable to expect a 3 y o to be on their own for an hour just because you haven't got up yet.

I do feel for you - lack of sleep is the pits - but this way isn't going to work. What happens if you put him to bed later?

[piglit]

Total pants JandJ and completely understand where you're coming from.

I am asleep before 9.30 every night.

I was going to buy a bunny clock for ds1 but won't bother now!

[SofiaAmes]

In my experience, 3 is really too young to expect much in the way of not waking you up in the morning. However, I do have two suggestions.

1. Put your ds to bed later. It will take a few weeks to get into the new rhythm, but it will eventually result in a later waking time. Before they started school, my two would go to bed at 9pm and wake up at 7 or 8. Now they go to bed at 8 and wake up sometime between 6 and 7.

1. My dc (4 and 6) are only allowed to watch tv on sat and sun morning. AND (this bit is really important) they are only allowed to watch until I wake up (or get woken up). This provides a major incentive for them to get up quietly and go downstairs quietly and watch tv quietly. The reality is that it doesn't work all the time, but I do generally get at least one weekend day where I get to sleep until 8 or 9. If you try this, it is important that they don't get tv at other times, so it really is a special treat AND make sure you set the tv to a channel you want them to watch AND to a volume that can't be heard upstairs. During the week, I do ask them to get dressed and go downstairs quietly, but this doesn't always happen. (I have found that asking them to play quietly in their room is a waste of time. They really do need to go somewhere else....so ideally it's downstairs)

[JoshandJamie]

Thanks for all the suggestions. I'm afraid I am NOT prepared to have them up later. I would rather get up early than lose out on my evenings. I use them to catch up on work or spend time with DH. Come 7pm, I just want some peace (but that could be because my day starts at 5am).

So I guess the solution is to go to bed earlier - although that wipes out my evening times too - but at least it means I'll be sleeping rather than managing overtired children.

I blame DH for this - he's an early waker (or he used to be, now he's as desperate for sleep as I am). I've never been an early waker. Am more of a night owl.

[speedymama]

My 3yo DTS are still in their cot and there they will remain until their feet are hanging over the sides.


Consequently, at the weekends, DH and I lie in until 8am - they start screaming to be let out by then!

Funnily enough, they have never attempted to climb out.

[powder28]

This is probably the hardest thing to accept about having children-the end of lie-ins

[amidaiwish]

total sympathy.
my dd1 is 3.2 and has always been an early riser. We have got her to about 5.50-6.15 now by generally extending her bedtime (I let her read books in bed, she still goes up at 7.30 as like you i have work to do / dinner to make / evenings to enjoy!)

i also wear her out physically in the day (trampoline, best purchase ever) which makes a difference (not immediately, but over a few days).

when she wakes and comes into us i tell her "shhh, back to bed and i will bring you some milk" - then go downstairs, make her milk and bring it to her in bed. she will then often stay in bed with it and a book for half an hour, or until DD2 (18m) decides it is time to get up.

[mumto3girls]

Could you not put a child gate at his bedroom door and therefore prevent him coming in your room?

[arfishy]

I was hoping for a magic solution on this thread, but clearly there isn't one!

My 4 year old still wakes up at 5am (if somebody had told me this when I was pregnant I would have laughed hysterically at them). When she was 3 she would take her clock off the wall, adjust the time from 5-ish to 7am and then troop into our bedroom and announce it was getting up time. Hah! Oh how I tried to get the holy grail of 7am. Now I'm just grateful when we're not in her 4am cycle.

[slayerette]

Can I offer some comfort here? DS has always got up very early - between 5 & 6 am - but has understood the concept of not coming into our room until a certain time for a good six months now (he's 4.2). We set the hands on his play clock to the time he was allowed to wake us and he's very good about it. He gets up, goes to the toilet, and then messes around his room sometimes for an hour - and he's quiet about it too! So I would keep trying to persevere with the idea.

[piglit]

LOL @ arfishy. I know what you mean. When my dses wake up I look at the clock and hold my breath until I see whether it's 4 something or 5 something...! And I am so relieved when it's 5 something!

[Boco]

I'm feeling your pain. My dd2 (2.4) has always woken early - no matter what time she goes to bed. I work in the evenings often til late, so a 5am start means the day will be very very bad, as i can't function on less than 6 hours sleep, and can't work during the day when the kids are about.

I started putting her back to bed, telling her what we'd do that day if she was a good girl and stayed in bed for a bit longer - we'll go to the park, we'll go and see friends, we'll go swimming - but only if mummy isn't too tired. She has a pile of books at the end of her bed, and she sits and chats loudly - but now almost always falls back to sleep until 7.30. Which is great.

[Judy1234]

Make bed time later. That seems to have worked for us. You lose your free time in that bit of the evening though. On her birthday my sister said to hers only present she wanted as they didn't come into her room before 6am. They woke her at 5.30am but they get ready for bed and sleep much earlier than my chidlren do and I'm sure it's just down to that. Me having teenagers etc tends to mean we're more of a later going to bed family anyway. in fact it's my 22 year old who seems to wake me at 7am every day now, not the twins who we had to shake awake at 7,.30am today (first day back after Easter holiday to school today - what a long long holiday - 3 weeks and 2 or 3 days)