To ask if anyone else lost both parents and experienced massive broodiness?

[jamespurefoygf]

Both my parents are both dead now; my mother died years and years ago when I was still a young teenager but my dad was just this May.

Since then I have been so broody, so desperate for a baby - I guess to "replace" the family I have lost in some way?

Has anyone else experienced this, it's strange and upsetting as I can't have a child for some time!

[Charitybelle]

Not personally, but I know my bil had a powerful urge to have a baby right after my fil (his df) died a few years ago. My sil said no at the time, because she sensed it was a reaction to his grief and I think she was right. He went through a brief period of depression, but is now out the other side, they've moved house, he has a better job and they're in a much better position financially and emotionally should they want to have kids in the next couple of years (which they're planning). I'd never tell someone not to have a baby, but I think there is a case for avoiding big life decisions right after such a huge bereavement. Having a baby is so emotionally draining, you need to be at your best, but yes, I think I understand that feeling of need to procreate, and perhaps to have someone to love whilst you're missing the person who has passed.
I'm so sorry for your loss

[TwoHeadedDolphin]

My mother is still with us but when my dad died I remember knowing definitely for the first time that I did want kids.

[TwoHeadedDolphin]

I am sorry for your loss

[CarmineRose1978]

That happened to me when I lost my mum four years ago. I was 32, and hadn't thought much about having kids, plus I was single, but suddenly I wanted a baby so badly! It probably a good job I wasn't in a relationship or I'd have pushed quite hard to TTC which might not have been a good thing with my state of mind at the time.

I'm really sorry for your loss, OP.

[tertle]

Sorry for you losses. I got pregnant 3 months after my mum died. Her death was unexpected and I was so completely devastated that I thought a baby would change things and make me happy. I was desperate to fill my life with something I could love as I didn't have my mum anymore.

My dd is now almost 6 months old and brings me so much joy and I don't regret having her when I did. However I will say that it hasn't been easy. I found it hard to enjoy my pregnancy and my emotions were all over the place when she was born. In hindsight it might have been better to wait.

Sorry you're feeling upset by your feelings. Perhaps you could get some bereavement counseling and talk them through with someone?

[jamespurefoygf]

Oh I don't think I need counselling; I know it would be silly to actually have one. It's very hard as I am single, so I can't even think about or plan properly to a time I might have a baby.

[Itsjustmeagain]

my mum died when I was a teenager and I dont see my dad or other family. I had children young and have a relatively large family (5 children at the moment). I dont think that losing my family is what made me have children in general but I do think its what made feel it was ok to have more than average. People always moan about my house being loud and busy but I actually love it because its lovely to have so much family around I think being alone has made me crave that!