DD is 6. ExH has a total disregard for her wellbeing in my opinion but it seems that until she comes to real harm, there's nothing I can do about it. For example:
He lets her play on the street unsupervised
He leaves her at home and in public alone
He's been informed she's slightly overweight so needs to watch her diet. Instead, he challenges her to eat more to the point she has diarrhoea or is sick.
She has three weak teeth that she's been having varnished regularly to try and prevent fillings. He's been told by me and the dentist that she needs to watch her diet and brush properly on several occasions. Still, he gives her access to unlimited fizzy drinks, cakes, sweets etc and doesn'tenencourage her to brush her teeth. Today, the dentist said she's held off as long as possible but fillings are going to be necessary. DD is terrified 
Most seriously of all, his girlfriend has a relation (not her son) who is 12. DD is left to play unsupervised with him and his friends and has repeated swear words, wanking and tits over the last few weeks, as well as hinting they bully her by saying they challenge her to do things (I.e. Climb a tree/go in a cupboard) then leave her stuck and laugh. She also has 'sleepovers' with the boy in the same room and bed, being left alone to watch 12/15 certificate films which then give DD nightmares for weeks afterwards. ExH strongly disagrees that it's inappropriate that they share a bed, even though the boy is obviously approaching puberty.
I rang childrens services for advice because after I last spoke to exH about them sharing a bed and DD being left unsupervised, he told her to keep everything that happens at contact a secret. Their advice was pretty much that unless she comes to harm, the above concerns are mine only and it's his prerogative to make those decisions for DD while she's in his care.
I really do feel that contact holds no benefit for her whatsoever - she's left alone/with the older boys/watching films the entire time - and that all it does is put her welfare at risk. AIBU to feel the only solution is to move away?
AIBU?
to be considering moving away specifically to block contact?
PeppaPug · 02/09/2014 22:12
I don't think he'd give up. He told me when I left him he'd always be able to get at me via DD and 6 years on he remains true to his word At least if I was far enough away that it reduced contact, it'd be an improvement.
I don't think it's necessarily the boy himself using the language/bullying DD. I suspect he gets stick from his friends for having a 6 yr old hanging around him and so when they're mean to her he doesn't feel he can stick up for her. She tries to pass it off as 'playing' but they've left her stuck in a tree, put something against a cupboard so she couldn't get out, encouraged her to go for a ride in a wheelie bin then rolled it down a hill...and these are only a few occasions I know of before exH told her to start keeping everything a secret.
SS and exH both say the boy seems immature for his age which makes bed sharing ok 
Immature or not, he can't control his body and when he begins getting wet dreams and erections and the children shouldn't be put in that position in my opinion.
My goodness this is wrong on so many levels, he is exposing a vulnerable child to harm and SS are doing nothing about it. Leaving a young chikd alone in the house and in public is neglect. Allowing his chikd to share a bed with a 12 year old boy in unacceptable! I would contact the head of chikdrens services, Police and NSPCC. They want her to get hurt first before they act 
, are they not supposed to prevent harm! I can see things still haven't improved within SS since High profile child deaths have happened. Also he is low level neglecting her, allowing her to eat crap to the point her health is becoming effected (teeth, she has diarohea and us sick), can't the HCP involved imput to SS! This cannot go on.
She has her own bedroom roamer, this boy doesn't live there but is staying over regularly. Both SS and the GP said its DD who needs to realise that eating crap gives her tummy ache/makes her sick/have diarrhoea and stop doing so and that it's dad's prerogative to treat her during his time. I really don't see that food should be a treat, especially when it's negatively affecting her health. Similarly, the films he lets her watch that give her nightmares everynight for me to deal with and leave her worn out for school, are his choice even though it adversely affects her.
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