I'm currently taking care of a friend's house (well her pets , she has cats and hens) whilst she's on holiday. I live an hour and a half's drive from my parents but my friend's house is close to my friends', so I told my Mum that I'd visit them a lot whilst here.
I am a bit neurotic whilst looking after other people's animals I must admit, always scared something will go wrong whilst I'm in charge!
Anyway last night, (my first night here)I told my Mum that once I'd put the hens away I'd drive over. However I then remembered that my Dad often likes me to have a drink with him when I visit, and it being my first night, he probably would-so I called my Mum again and said 'Do you want to pick me up, and then I'll get a cab back later, so then if Dad wants to have a drink with me then I can have one too?'
My Mum said won't be necessary, Dad doesn't want to have a drink, we're both up early so it won't matter just drive over. So I said okay, I'll come over about 830pm and I planned to just drive back to my friends later on when they went to bed.I could hear my Dad in the background and my Mum did say to him 'You're not having a drink tonight, are you' and him saying no.
Because I thought I'd be back, I didn't check that the cats were all in the house, and I did shut the hens away but I wasn't meticulous about it-as I planned to give them another check when I got back.
Anyway during the evening my Mum says 'Oh in the morning I'll show you ...' etc etc. I said, 'No I'm not staying over , remember?'
It got a bit later on and my Dad says 'Are you staying over?' I said 'No, I've got to be back later on to check on the animals'. I thought we arranged this over the phone?
He got slightly agitated and said 'You're staying there on your own?Stay here-I don't want you going back there this late'. I said that I thought this had all been sorted out on the phone, it was the reason I telephoned to make arrangements, the reason I asked my Mum if I should leave the car etc.
He thn offers me a glass of wine, saying he was only having one glass did I want one. I said no, I would have left the car if I knew I was having a drink.
HE shouted at me to stop blaming other people, to stay over the animals would be fine, I came too late to be leaving again..., then my Mum joins in saying I'll be fine to stay over etc.
I'm a bit annoyed at this point, I dont have a toothbrush, my phone charger, any night clothes, I'm in charge of the animals and I wanted to be satisfied everything was okay before I went to bed-which is why I tried to organise the evening properly....But I figured it would probably be okay and he poured me half a glass of wine, which I had about half of.
Anyway we talk for a bit and my Dad asks about the animals and says I shouldn't worry they'll be fine. Then it begins to rain and I say I should really have made sure the cats were in, and then my Dad says he'll come with me to check on them and then come back. It's 11pm by this point.
My Mum starts shouting that I can't drive I've had a drink , I say I don't like driving even after 1 especially when I'm tired but I know I'm not over the limits,after just a few mouthfulls, so it doesn't matter. I don't know what to do at this point but I don't want to trouble my Dad so I say don't come with me, I'll nip back, check on things then come back.
As I'm getting into my car my Mum comes out saying not to come back, It's late just to go. I havent taken my bag with me as I thought I was coming straight back so I tell her this, walk back in to get my bag and then my Mum and Dad both start arguing about the situation, I say something to the lines of I tried to organise the evening properly and had acted accordingly, they're the ones who changed things, this goes on for a few mins and I think sod it I'll stop over, the animals will be okay I know I'm being paranoid, so I come back into the house and it lulls.
About 5-10 mins later, my Mum goes to bed and a few mins after that, my Dad gets up and says he's going to bed!!!
So what was the big deal about my needing to stay over? If they were both just going to bed anyway?
Before anybody says 'Just ask them', they're the sort where I can't discuss things after the event. My Mum'll just shrug it off and my Dad will say 'Ah sunflower shut up' or something to those lines.
AIBU?
I think I was, but I think my parents were, too?(Sorry, long)!
sunflower49 · 01/09/2014 09:49
The strangest thing in the whole night imho is the whole having to have a drink because your dad is. Surely, as an adult in your early 30s, you have a drink or not depending on what you choose, not your dad. And likewise your dad is I'm sure big enough to decide to have a drink or not regardless of your choice 
I also think your parents are treating you like a teenager with telling you you can't go back because it's too late. Expressing mild concern, fair enough. Telling you what to do is odd. But then you going along with it because they'd shouted at you won't help this will it?
All a very very strange set up, imho.
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