aibp (am i being precious) about a slt referral?

[preciousalittle]

After dd (20m) had her development review the hv picked up her language is delayed. I was aware, but not hugely concerned as she is making slow progress with great play and social skills. She does though have zero understanding of spoken language despite best efforts, her gesture is good. She's delayed a tad generally, low tone etc.

Hv made a referral to the child development centre for overall development. They've come back instead with a hearing test and a referral to a parenting group on talking to toddlers, it is a parenting group and comes under adult learning. I have three older children, two on good university courses and another doing well in primary. I work with small children. Aibp to say no way hose to a course patronising me, and targeted at vulnerable families. Especially on top of the hv implying she's autistic only two weeks ago (despite her play skills, social smile, excellent reading of face and gesture) repeatedly. My back is now so far up! Aibp? To refer to child development they do a caf form too, which I'd be ignoring not to go to. Another factor, it's a lot of time off work. The course is obviously a wonderful thing in itself to exist, but I feel like they've utterly disregarded our families needs and strengths. She is delayed, but I bloody read/talk/ know many strategies through my job (the hv knows I am a senco)

[MrsWinnibago]

YANBU. It sounds like a shit and pointless referral and healthcare profs need to take into consideration the circumstances of the parents they're working with.

Ask your GP for referral instead. You should see a developmental Paed and then get SALT.

[1sneezecakesmum]

The parenting group sounds a complete waste of time and I would explain to them your reasons and the fact you speak to your daughter, read etc. it does sound as though their might be some hearing problem so if you don't want to be confrontational just say you'll wait until the hearing test is completed.

A developmental assessment is a good idea generally, but I can see why you are so fed up with them wanting to pigeonhole your child and taking no notice of your personal circumstances.

[preciousalittle]

My sister is deaf, I'm fairly confident my dd isn't as she has none of the same signs, however I will of course check.

I'll have to wait a bit to say no, as I'm quite angry tbh. I've already told hv services to never contact us again (after I was reassured one side muscle weakness was normal, hospital agreed it wasn't after gp referral), so I don't want to be awkward yet again !

[Groovee]

My friend was like you, refused to go to the parenting group but actually it really benefited her son and he was able to progress down a good route of speech therapy with a group situation twice a week and individual once a week.

I would give it a try first and although you don't think her hearing is affected you never know what is happening down those tubes.

[Curlyweasel]

Of course yanbp - don't be daft. Politely decline any appointments, don't agree to the CAF (as you know they're optional) and go to see your GP. Another HV overstepping boundaries - I'd be having a word with her line-manager if it were me (but then I am a bit scrappy). x

[MrsWinnibago]

Oh I had to "sack" my HV as well OP. Don't even give them any headspace....contact them in a few days when you're calmer and don't forget that this sort of thing is VERY stressful as of course we all want our DC to be "Perfect" whatever that is.

You will be worried about the issues at hand re DD...so ditch them and see the GP when you feel a bit better.

I had a HV question our religion (normal religion not even devil worshipers or Druids) and also pull worried faces and tut over DD's NORMAL loss of weight on first few days after birth.

Had concerns for DD1 re autism myself....and had to deal with teachers who thuoght they knew better....have a weekend where you don't think about it all...then deal on Monday.

[Curlyweasel]

voluntary not optional

[WooWooOwl]

YANBU.

It could be that you were referred because it's standard procedure in the circumstances, and as soon as you discuss it with anyone with any common sense they will agree that you don't need to go.

[preciousalittle]

Groove, may I ask if your friend had 3 older children who had excelled in their language? Serious question, it seems unlikely I've suddenly forgotten the skills between no. 3 and 4.

Mrs W, thanks. I did 'sack' her I guess. but at 16 months dd couldn't roll over/ get up off the floor and I swallowed my pride and asked for input from her. 3 months later (!) she sent a silly referral focused on SLT needs. Luckily dd had a huge leap in motor skills in the interim. I don't as such want to dd to be 'perfect' so much, she's just fine in my eyes and I honestly think her speech will come in time just like he rather delayed areas. (though I'd seek help if the progress stops)

[Bellossom]

Sounds ridiculous. My sons the same he's 2 and a month now and just making some attempts at words. I went straight to a drop in speech and language thing at around 20 months she referred for a hearing test (I was happy for him to have that as I had hearing problems as a child but he's got none) and to see again - which we did last week. She never suggested I needed to learn anything other than she did give me examples of ways that might help me and my son after watching him for 20 mins. Like, making opportunities for him to ask for 'more' and simplifying words futher than I had been

They arn't worried yet, and like your daughter he has social skills and does lots to maintain eye contact etc which they said was great. We'll have another appointment in a few months

[Bellossom]

My son was physically behind his peers too. I reckon he sits and susses it all out before he decides it's something he wants to do

[MrsWinnibago]

My friend's DD is 20 months-ish and she's not talking or walking yet. Friend is not bothered as of yet as the DD is trying to walk and is also attempting words and babbling as well as sociable and happy. She has a DS with Autism and she picked that up early.OP your instincts are everything.

[Dayshiftdoris]

I was a professional and believe me it no get out of these ridiculous courses...

The current one I am on a list for is anxiety (not ASD specific, which my child has)... I have a masters qualification in CBT and did an ASD anxiety workshop 6 months ago.

It will be a 'refresh' apparently

It's so they can tick the box to say your parenting is ok, you have that knowledge and no they don't seem to have the ability to make a judgement... No evidence of a personal opinion but you going on a course - well there you go proof...

I have battled these - it's easier to agree to go or it delays things though raise it at the same time.

Oh and don't roll your eyes when the professionals set your TAF set meetings around THEIR very important diaries whilst forgetting that yours is equally important too They don't like the reminder speaks from experience

[DoJo]

Is it a case of the steps that have to be taken before you can access further help? As in, if you aren't at least offered this course then they will not be able to progress your daughter's case if it turns out she does need further support? A polite refusal citing your reasons should do the trick, but if they hadn't at least offered you a referral then it could appear that they have neglected to provide you with the resources available simply because they have decided that you should be dealing with it yourself.
I agree that it's annoying and frustrating, but I can imagine it being a fault of the system rather than anything to do with their faith in your abilities.

[Aeroflotgirl]

Sounds rubbish, I wouldent go, I would go to SALT drop in centre (usually at hospital location). You will be referred to a speech therapist for assessment, then request speech therapy sessions from them. I have done this with ds 2.7 years, understanding is fine, speech is slow on a 1.5 year level, saw speech therapist at drop in who assessed him, I requested speech therapy sessions when she asked what I wanted. So I have first one soon. As for HV diagnosing Autism, she should not be doing that, not even hinting, the paedritrician does that after detailed assessment. My dd7 saw paedritrician when she was 3, dx with ASD at 6. I personally would not see the HV she does not sound very good.

[Aeroflotgirl]

Madrigals I went on that for Dd and use it for ds. It's very good.

[Aeroflotgirl]

We did for dd it was over 2/3 months at the SALT centre at tge local hospital. It's excellent, I use it for ds as his speech is slow but he is nit like dd at all.

[1sneezecakesmum]

When you say one side of her body is slightly weaker, do you mean the right side?

[preciousalittle]

Yes the right, "diagnosis: probable mild hemiplegia, right side"

[minipie]

YANBP.

Although, if they won't give you anything else unless you go on the unsuitable course (case of "computer says no") then maybe it is worth sucking it up and doing it anyway...? much as I hate to say that.

Are you/have you seen a physio for her right side weakness?

[1sneezecakesmum]

I would say she had a stroke pre birth and it has affected the speech. The left side of the brain controls the right side of the body and the speech centre is in the left side of the brain.

An MRI scan would confirm this. Tell them to stuff the parenting class and refer to a neurologist.