I am a new Dad (apologies for using a Mums forum howeve I have used this forum before adn received excellent advice and its good to get a womens point of view)
Ill try and explain my story quickly.
I'm 28 and have a 9 week old baby daughter. My ex is 23 and we split up whilst she was around 7.5 months pregnant. I have battled hard for the past 3 or so months to get back together whilst its felt like she has battled me instead. She is extremely stubborn and drags things out. Also she will do or say things that make things worse (e.g she told me the other day she has a new boyfriend when she doesn't)
It has now got to a point where she wont let me see my daughter. I have spent the last 9 weeks seeing my daughter in her house supervised by her and her family. I have requested I start having her on my own and asked can I start off slowly taking her for half an hour slowing workign towards taking her for longer. She has denied this. The reason she states is that she doesnt feel like our daughter will be ok in my care. I Hhave changed nappys, fed her, rocked her to sleep during the night. Im good to go and have lots of help around me should i need it. Im now looking at mediation and then possible court. Its so frustrating as it feels like she is obnly delaying the inevitable and ill be spending a lot of money that could be spent on our daughter.
I pay her child support every month 10% of my wage which was a figure quoted to me by her. I also buy things like clothes, nappys, baby monitors e.t.c which bumps the figure up. She now states that i should be paying 15% of my wage. Why did it suddenly go up? She states 15% it what is stated by CSA. Even if the figure I should be paying is 15% and im only paying 10% im still paying more by buying other bits and bobs.
I have now booked to go to a music festival this week and used my credit card as i currently dont have the funds. Next month ill get a bigger wage so will pay my credit card off. She has kicked off big time saying my prioroties arnt right, im only paying 10% child support and i can afford to go to festivals. Ive explained i cant afford to go but i will be able to next month. Ive also advised her not to expect a rise in child support as my money is being spent on mediation.
Cn anyone help me out here at all? My life is a complete mess. I feel like im the father she will allow me to be. She wont let me see our child not because um not capable but because she has a grudge against me. Is there any point court to court with a child so young? Give me an option and id much rather spend all weekend with my daughter but she wont allow it.
Thanks Mums. I know people can be quite harsh on here but sometimes that is good. Please dont get on my back too much though as this is not what I really need. I need help advice adn support. Thanks
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70 replies
Cowapjn · 20/08/2014 19:28
OP posts:
BuffytheReasonableFeminist ·
20/08/2014 19:54
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BuffytheReasonableFeminist ·
20/08/2014 20:02
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