She's eaten all of the fecking cheese strings AGAIN!!

[KingJoffreysBloodshotEye]

DS's friend.

I gave them both enough money (£10 each) for them to get a cinema ticket and some snacks (shop on the way - not cinema food) this morning, had (large) sausage rolls and other picnic stuff in the fridge for them for lunch and she's already nagging me for more food despite me telling her that I have feck all here until my Tesco shop comes at 6pm.

Yet, she's still been into the fridge while I've been pottering around and eaten 10+ cheese strings.



I don't know how to handle this.

She'd happily eat everything in the house while my back is turned. I have told DS not to let her eat stuff without checking with me (my pizzas are pretty shit once 'someone' has eaten the entire packet of pepperami) but she still does it.

She takes stuff during the night/early in the morning too. I'll come down and find 8 yoghurts gone, that kind of thing.

I provide so much stuff when DS has guests. Always make sure there's drinks, picnic stuff, crisps, pop corn, fruit. It's not like they starve.

Would it be okay to stick a note in the fridge saying 'FECK OFF MY FOOD'? Or would that be a bit twattish?

I don't know what to do and I'm feeling a bit irritated about it.

[YouTheCat]

Don't have her over any more.

How old are they? If she's old enough to help herself, she's old enough to know you don't nick food - very bad-manners.

[MeganChips]

How old are they?

That would irritate me too. I know opinions differ on this but my house is not a free for all food wise, even for the people who live here. I expect everyone to at least check it's not needed for a meal.

I'd have a word with her when she comes round and explain that not everything is up for grabs and make sure she's clear about exactly what she can and can't have.

[MrsHathaway]

That's disordered eating. Is she purging afterwards?

How old? Have you told her straight to buy her own damn food / fuck off home and eat there / bring a packed lunch with her if your offerings are insufficient?

Actually, how old is the biggest question I have.

[divingoffthebalcony]

Wow, that is extreme.

How old is she? And how much time does she spend with you?

If you can discount her being starved at home, then I think you need to either reduce the amount of time she spends at your house, or make damn sure she can't steal from you when she's there. Is there such a thing as a fridge combination lock, for example?

[CouldntGiveAMonkeysToss]

Bloody hell! How old is she? I can't imagine either of my children nagging someone else for food and they're two and four! Have you told her not to scoff all your food?

[scarletforya]

That's a lot, what age?

[CouldntGiveAMonkeysToss]

I also agree that unless she is being starved at home then it sounds like an eating disorder of some kind.

[GrapefruitILoveIt]

my own kids are like this.

I think you're shocked because you have a child that isn't like a gannet.

[chopinbabe]

Does she get enough to eat at home? Has she a medical problem?

Otherwise, I would ask her not to eat things without first asking. I think a note telling a child to 'feck off' would be wrong on every level.

[VelvetSpoon]

She sounds like a friend I had as a kid who was always hungry because her mum never fed her proper meals, when she came to my house and was offered the biscuit tin she would take handfuls rather than just one. If she stayed for dinner she'd eat 2/3 platefuls of whatever we were having. My mum felt sorry for her, but we didn't have money to keep feeding her (her mum did, but preferred to spend her money elsewhere...).

Do you know much about her homelife? Is she being fed properly?

[manofsponge]

how old?

[Hakluyt]

How old is she?

I have a hollow legged 13 year old gannet, but he would never eat 10 cheese strings. He would also never eat all of anything, or nag for food in someone else's house because he knows how to behave in a reasonably civilised manner............
Have you talked to her about it?

[mumtosome61]

I never eat food in other people's homes without asking and I'm 29

How old is she and does she get fed at home are the two biggest questions I have. What are her boundaries (if any) at home regarding food? As a child, we had to always ask to have something to eat. My nephew on the other hand, just helps himself (he's 6) - I don't really like the idea of him wandering into the kitchen because he fills up on crap and then doesn't eat his dinner, but he's not my child and it doesn't directly affect me. If it's a common thing for her to just sort her own snacks or whatever out at home, she probably doesn't realise it's not acceptable in another persons home.

She's eating an awful lot though - binging, if anything.

[Montegomongoose]

I've got teens. They see 'picnic' food as snacks.

I give them pasta, chicken, baked potatoes, at mealtimes so they feel they've eaten rather than picked.

I have also accepted that between now and university, all food in the house is fair game for them and their mates

Maybe she's not allowed things like cheese strings and sausage rolls at home?

How old are yours?

[IAmNotAMindReader]

Get a fridge lock.

Tell her straight if she can't stick to house rules of not eating food that's off limits for meal planning then she won't be able to come round. The first time she does it again, send her straight home. If its night tell her parents they'll have to pick her up first thing. The only way she's going to learn your house isn't open season is if you operate a zero tolerance policy to off limits pilfering.
It smacks of a lack of respect for other people.

I was going to say threaten to charge her for what she takes outside of what she's allowed but you'd need some brass neck to follow that one through.

There may or may not be problems at home/school, however you still have a right to not have things you've labelled off limits stolen from under your nose.

[KingJoffreysBloodshotEye]

12.

I'm not very good with children other than my own. I never know what to say.

She'll often walk to the local shop and come back with a huge pile of food (biscuits, cheese, etc) to munch through.

The other day I bought 2 x 6 packs of popcorn thinking they'd last a while. Gone in a morning. 12 packs (crisp packet size) of popcorn.

[2rebecca]

I would be telling her that it is rude to go in someone else's fridge when you are a guest in their house unless you are asked to get something from it. I'd probably stop having her round at meal times as well and send her home. She doesn't sound a great role model for your daughter as a friend if she'll polish off 8 yoghurts on a morning, that's just greedy but I'm probably too controlling to let a kid eat that many and would have said something the first time she started going in the fridge and binge eating. Is she obese? What does your daughter say things are like at her house?

[2rebecca]

Why are you feeding this extra child?

[manofsponge]

say
'Here are your snacks. PLease dont eat anything else without asking me' ( to both of them)

just like that. NO need to say anything more

[divingoffthebalcony]

Poor girl clearly had a huge problem. I'm guessing she's quite overweight?

[YouTheCat]

Well she's a 12 year old with very bad manners then. Whether she gets fed proper meals at home or not, she is stealing food.

She sounds like she has an eating disorder. Could you mention it to her mum/dad?

[KingJoffreysBloodshotEye]

I think a note telling a child to 'feck off' would be wrong on every level.

Yes, that was never a serious consideration.

[MildDrPepperAddiction]

Tbh I just wouldn't have her over anymore.

If your DS does want her over then you need to speak to her parents and explain the issue.

[Tikimon]

What would you do if your own kid did that? When they're at your house you're in charge.

I'd tell her to stop eating your food or you're sending her home and she's not coming back again.

[DoubtfireDear]

Bloody hell! I'd be livid, how old is she?


DS is allowed to help himself, but only if he asks me first and he is 5, I'd expect him or his friends to ask if they wanted anything to eat.


On my budget I'd be able to get extra snacky stuff if DS had a friend round, but 8 yoghurts and 10 cheesestrings would be a weeks worth for us, and I couldn't afford to replace our "normal" foods on top of providing snacks and handing out £20!

I don't think you'd be wrong to tell her a firm "no" or speak to her parents and see if she eats that way at home.