Don't know if I'm being oversensitive

[Amber76]

My sister and I normally get on fairly well. She has three kids and I have 2 with one on the way. We each have a three year old dd.
We were at a family picnic in the park recently - about ten adults and ten kids.

At one point the adults were all chatting and suddenly her 3 year old dd was crying because my dd pushed her. I immediately said I'm so sorry and that I would talk to my dd. My sister said loudly that "actually, that's the second time she has pushed her".

I went to talk to my dd and I could hear my sister behind me saying to the rest of the family that this sort of thing happened all the time when the two girls were together. This is news to me! I thought they got on well - the occasional squabble over toys like all kids that age but my dd has never pushed her dd before.

On talking to my dd she said that the other girl had been trying to take her comforter and so she pushed her - I explained this was wrong and made her apologise to her cousin.

I didn't challenge my sister on the comment about how this was always happening between the two girls - I just felt very hurt and we didn't talk to each other for the rest of the day as there were a lot of people there.

On thinking about it there have been a few incidences where my sister has spoken sharply to my dd or suggested she has been bold when I don't believe she has - all petty things. I know that she was bold to push her cousin at the park but it was a one off and my sister made out to the rest of the family (who wouldn't see the girls that often) like it was a regular thing.

Its been going around in my head since. I think I should say something to my sister - not be confrontational but simply say I think you have been unfair to my dd. My dd is a quiet child who is usually well behaved - when she does do something she shouldn't I always make her apologise. Would you say something?

[CoffeeTea103]

I think if you are being oversensitive. As your dd has been pushing her all she's doing is stating facts. I too would be upset if someone was pushing my dd.

[Mrsjayy]

3 yr old squabble even 3 yr old cousins your sister is making a huge deal about this its not a big deal children need to learn to sort themselves out without adults wading in acting like 3 yr old. Your sister is looking for family support on who's child is better behaved its embarrassing for her rise about it say oh they can both be naughty sometimes and tell your sister to get a grip

[SorryForTheTypos]

Agree with Mrsjayy

The only thing I would say is if this vive is going on, just keep a closer eye than you normally would so you can be confident when you say "actually its 6 of one, half a dozen of another" - not that I iamgine you're sitting there with your back to them, but if you have to say you didn't actually see what happened, it gives more credence to her daftness IYSWIM?

[Catsize]

Perhaps your sister should have a word with her daughter about not grabbing things from others?

[Squidstirfry]

Don't bring it up again, 3 YO's always do these sorts of things. They do grow out of it.

It's obviously made you wonder why your DS would have said such a thing, but maybe she said it simply because that is her perception. Leave her to it.

[ithoughtofitfirst]

My friend's dd always pushes my ds, takes his toys and is generally quite rough with him. It does start to piss me off after about the 10th incident but what is she supposed to do? Jedi mind tricks on her dd? She tells her off and puts her on a naughty step or whatever and we move on.

Some dc are just more boisterous than others.

[LetsFaceTheMusicAndDance]

I'd agree with the idea of keeping a close eye on their behaviour. It took someone else to comment before I cottoned on that my usually well behaved son needed a fresh look. Kids do go through phases.

[Mrsjayy]

Yes its 6 of 1 and half a dozen really keep an eye on it

[Laura0806]

I think your sister is BU! mine is the same. her precious ds can do no wrong but the fact is all children can and do!. I would ignore it as Im afraid some parents just can't see it and its not worth a family argument. Ive been there !

[Minisoksmakehardwork]

Yanbu. But it's not worth saying anything now.

I have a ds who is 5 months older than my sister's youngest. We get the same but I think a lot of it is to do with positioning in the family as well. Ds is my 2nd child, I've dts younger. But dn is my sister's youngest and is allowed to get away with more. Even though they are both the same age. Sister will discipline my ds for the same things Dniece is allowed to get away with by her (our parents treat all the children broadly the same and discipline is handed out fairly).