Have posted a few times about moderately crap DS birth.
Nutshell - waters broke, on drip 40 hours later, needed forceps/episiotomy, later abandoned on recovery ward (with naked baby) by hospital staff and DP for 4-5hours. DS largely fine, I was largely fine.
A year and a bit on, and it still bothers me.
Someone IRL recently told me the usual 'all that matters' is that DS is fine and I need to let it go - and asked what I needed to do that.
It occurred to me around DS's first birthday that I need DP to forgive me. He has never given me any praise or credit around the birth or year since - never said well done or that he's proud of me, or that I'm a good mum or even thank you for the things I do - all normal things a dad might say to his partner.
He is basically Spock when it comes to feelings - he logics the shit out of them so they don't trouble him.
But I believe that him not saying these things implies he feels ashamed of me. I think that if I could get him to express forgiveness for screwing up or letting him/DS down, then I might be able to let go this over-riding sense of failure I've had since.
For the record, I 100% do not judge the way that anyone else gives birth - it's bloody hard work and requires a huge amount of effort however it happens - I just wish I, personally, had done better. I have never been given a reason for needing the interventions other than 'he was a bit stuck'.
Ideally DS would tell me he forgives me - but I'm not sure I could wait 18+ years!
Would I be unreasonable to ask DP to forgive me? If not, how do I go about it?
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To ask DP to forgive me for DS's birth?
247 replies
CulturalBear · 31/07/2014 10:32
OP posts:
EatShitDerek ·
31/07/2014 10:40
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