To be clear, I'm not talking about complete and utter disinterest / abandonment, but more 'low level' disinterest and an expectation that minimal involvement in their children's lives suffices. This is where couples are (living) together too, not separated.
Examples:
- A mum who told me her husband would rather poke his eyes out than attend the birthday party of any toddler who's a 'friend' of our toddlers. Apparently he doesn't like babies and children, apart from his own. Mum and toddler attend any such parties without him. (Both parents and any siblings are invited along with the kids. Me and DH plan to go with our toddler. We don't know the other parents too well but like seeing our son interact with other kids.)
- A dad who is a season ticket holder at the local premier league football club and attends every home game plus after-game drinks and a fair amount of away games. He and his wife both work full-time so only have weekends as family time.
- A dad who won't allow his wife to organise a birthday party for his toddler that other little friends and parents are invited to because he doesn't want a fuss. His wife is very sociable with other mums, wants a party and is v disappointed.
- A dad who won't take his toddler to any baby activities by himself.
- A dad who has been on his own 4 day stag do abroad this year and will be going on another similar stag do of a friend later this year, leaving his wife and toddler home alone.
The disinterest seems surprisingly common and cuts across age, social class etc.
AIBU to think this attitude from dads is unreasonable? Either way, is it 'the norm'? Why do the women put up with it? Don't the dads care that they're missing out? Why are perfectly nice and normal women with such idiots?