To think kids the local childminder gets paid for looking after should not be in my house/garden under my supervision!

[Rinkydinkypink]

This is really starting to piss me off. Lovely new house big garden. Lots of local children to play with but most of them are staying at the local childminders house. She's getting paid to look after them in the holidays. I've said I'm happy for my nearly 7 year old to play at the front of the house with his friends. We live in a very quiet cul de sac and the childminder lives 2 doors down. We can both watch them all.

It seems the childminder is saying its ok for these kids to play in my house/back garden. This invariable comes with 'I'm hungry, need a wee, we want to do this etc'. I have a toddler, they leave all the doors open, run in and out. She's getting paid to look after them how can this be ok???

I feel mean saying no but fgs she's earning a wage for me doing the bloody minding.

The complicated bit is one of them is her niece who she has a lot of the time and my ds and her get on really well. With the niece seems to come all the others as well.

AIBU to feel this is wrong and actually I should be saying no?

[BoldBlackCherry]

Yanbu she is taking the piss and being paid for doing not a lot.

Do the dcs parents who pay her know about it?

If one of them had an accident in your garden or the likes would she accept responsibility?

[MarkWrightsLonelyBraincell]

YANBU, she's taking the piss. I bet the parents of the mindees wouldn't be pleased either.

[phantomnamechanger]

YANBU at all

aside from the fact that she is being paid and trusted by the parents of her mindees, she will be insured, first aid trained and CRB checked - are you? She is being beyond cheeky! Out in the street at the front of your house if one thing, but NOT in your home or back garden.

[Rinkydinkypink]

No they won't know. One if the kids is a difficult child and is known for making trouble, lying at school, bullying etc. I've had a run in with his mother a few times because of his behaviour at parties where she hasn't been.

If I'm honest I don't want him in my house as I actually don't trust him or his family.

[Rinkydinkypink]

Should I send them home? How do I deal with this?

[SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius]

Send her a tongue-in-cheek invoice for the time you have spent minding her minders for you!

[SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius]

Not minders - mindees - bloody iPad autocorrect.

[Rinkydinkypink]

Well so far by her rates I've earned at least £20!

[fledermaus]

If you don't want them playing in the house why don't you just say no? I never understand these threads.

[phantomnamechanger]

Of course you can send him home! It's your house your rules . Even if you had invited him and were originally happy with that, you can send him home to the CM at any time you want. Do your DC want him there? did they invite him and the CM said OK because she thought you knew? (not that that makes it ok, as she should be supervising)

[rookiemater]

I'd have a chat with her and say that you are concerned about the legal side if one of these children hurt themselves whilst in your back garden.

I would say that you are happy for them to play in the front garden where she can keep an eye on them, and also happy for her niece to play with your DS in the back garden when she is on her own, but you do not want the other DCs in the back garden or the house as your focus must be on your toddler DD.

[Rinkydinkypink]

My ds is enjoying playing with them . I feel mean but it really annoys me! Ds will not understand the reasons. He's to young to understand. I assume she knows where they are because her niece has just turned up as well.

I'm trying to bloody pack to go on holiday in the morning as well.

[Realitybitesyourbum]

I don't understand them either. I don't let people in my house i don't want. Why do you?

[deakymom]

take pictures and post them on facebook (not name and shame but "happy day pics" that are all over it at the moment) make sure they are public and your friends with at least one of the parents let them ask the questions passive maybe but she is your neighbour you need to live with her close by

[Realitybitesyourbum]

I don't understand them either. I don't let people in my house i don't want. Why do you?

[cithkadston]

I too would just say no. I wouldn't give a stuff if I looked like a meanie or if the kids or the childminder were pissed off about it. I'd just tell them they are welcome to play in the front garden but not the back garden. And there's no way either I'd be giving in to their demands for food. I'd just tell them to go back to the childminder and ask her for something to eat!

[museumum]

She hasn't risk assessed your house, her insurance might not cover it. You are not crb checked for this purpose. I would say they have to be literally under her supervision so need to be where SHE not you, can keep an eye. I would be shocked if a childminder I paid let my child play is a strangers (to me) house without training / insurance / crb.

[WorraLiberty]

Take away the child minding aspect for a minute and you could be talking about many, many parents during the holidays.

You need to take control of your own house. If you don't want children in your house, you need to be friendly but firm.

The only kids that play in my house/garden are the ones who have been invited and I've squared it with their parents.

If you don't get a handle on this now, it's only going to get harder.

It doesn't make you mean, it makes you normal.

[Rinkydinkypink]

They've been sent home. I've told ds he can play at the front with them but not the back.

Im still bloody furious though.

[adsy]

Well, problem solved then! I wouldn't be furious. Seems your ds and the niece were the culprits! I assume the kids are all old enough to be in and out of each others' houses?
As pp have said, if you don't like it, just say you can't come in next time.
Or send your ds round to her house!!

[fruitpastille]

One of my neighbours is a cm, the only time mindees have played here is when she accompanies them or if I have arranged with the parent that they can come play. I am friends with a few cms and they do not let the kids out of their sight! I would be concerned.

[NoSquirrels]

Where we live there's a similar set-up. All the kids play out front and are a big happy gang.

The rules are that they don't come in my garden unless 1) my children have asked me if it's OK, I have said yes AND the childminder says it's OK. 2) No one comes into my house at all - sent back to childminders for the loo etc. 3) I provide no food/drink.

Put your foot down, explain the rules to your son. My kids are pretty small, but understand the rules of casual playing out vs. pre-arranged playdates where the whole house and garden is fair game, and I provide food.

Practise your not-to-be-messed-with stare. I love hanging with the kids sometimes, but can do a good Paddington hard stare and am not phased by laying down the law.

[Aeroflotgirl]

Just say no to the children and send them back!

[Username12345]

Surely if you had said no in the first place this situation wouldn't have even arisen.

Be furious at yourself.