To be disgusted exdp won't swap access weekends.

[Berryglitter]

I dislocated my elbow yesterday, badly, they have reduced it to make me slightly more comfortable but I need surgery on Monday as it's the second time and unstable. I'm on oramorph, codeine and paracetamol all day, which is making me sleepy and sick. Dp has been helping with ds but is away for the weekend (prearranged for work, before any of this).

Called exdp and explained the situation, I'm supposed to be on bed rest etc. He refuses to switch his access weekend as he wants "to go out on the piss". I would change with him, I'm very flexible on arrangements. AIBU to kick off a little about this.

[Alisvolatpropiis]

I guess there's nothing you can do but gosh, your ex is a tosser!

Hope your op goes well and you are feeling better soon.

[Berryglitter]

Thank you. I'm so worried about looking after ds alone on oramorph as it makes me so sick and dizzy but I need it for the pain. :(

[louiseb1242]

Your ex partner sounds like he has zero empathy. So sorry for you OP. I really hope you get some help with your son from elsewhere.

I wouldn't rush to be so flexible with your exP on access going forward... He's pretty much bombed this one.

[TheHouseCleaner]

Well he's lost his opportunity to swap weekends when he's ill or wants to go somewhere, hasn't he?

What goes round comes round!

[Berryglitter]

I'm going to have to do the weekend with just paracetamol if I'm alone with ds, can't risk being a half asleep mess with a 6 year old. Dp is trying desperately to get out of work this weekend to stay and give me a hand.

It's one weekend, he has him eow and a night during the week, as well as any time he would like! I'm trying not to be difficult but I am in so much pain and at risk of dislocation again.

[MrsMaturin]

I can see why he's your ex! Selfish twat. YANBU. Good luck OP.

[itiswhatitiswhatitis]

What an arse! I certainly hope you will be less flexible for him in the future.

[Needadvice5]

Do you have another parent you can call upon for a few hours?

[Berryglitter]

Oh definitely now. If the tables were turned I'd be offering to have ds rather than him even asking. I haven't felt pain like this. I can barely stay awake after taking the oramorph, plus it makes me very sick!

[EverythingCounts]

Is there anyone who could have your DS for either during the day as a play date, or at night for a sleepover? I would do this for one of DS's school friends or class mates if the mum was in your situation. Don't be afraid to ask. You can always return the favour to them. Don't do any more for your ex! He's a nob.

[Mouldypineapple]

Do you have a friend who could have ds for the day to help?

[Berryglitter]

Needadvice, yes I have my mum. I've text her so hopefully she can help. If not dps mum (not xdps) will be about and is very helpful. It will all work out, I'm just so annoyed that drinking is more important than our son.

[Berryglitter]

I do understand being disappointed if you can't go out to something you thought you could but this was beyond my control. I've given up many nights to look after ds. Exdp is now saying we're selfish and dp should take time off work. Dp doesn't have children, he does his best with ds and is brilliant. He has to work or our mortgage doesn't get paid!

[louiseb1242]

for you OP. Drinking seems to be more important than your son's welfare and your health... Chin up and hope the pain gets better very soon. x

[ABlandAndDeadlyCourtesy]

"Exdp is now saying we're selfish and dp should take time off work."

I can't imagine why he's an ex. He sounds delightful.

Speedy recovery, OP

[Berryglitter]

Thank you. Yes this is the reason he's an ex, he only thinks of his needs and is very jealous I'm with dp. He seems to think dp (who is only 22) needs to take on the role of ds dad completely and he can just be Disney dad.

In 6 years I've never asked you swap times but I'm just in agony, they reduced my elbow with just gas and air so I'm very bruised as I was fighting back a bit :)

[deakymom]

well next time he asks you to be flexible remember this pain! feel for you i had a migraine bad enough to make me vomit i asked my ex his family everyone my mother (when she was nice) dropped some massive painkillers to my house before work i ended up drifting to cbeebies at one point i fell asleep my 18 month old tucked me in with her blankie and played nicely on the floor i was mortified i felt like one of those smack heads you see in a trash mag spaced out and looking after a child! fortunately my mother went to her boss and told him she needed to leave early so i could sleep properly i was lucky it eased off after a few hours proper sleep!

bet your glad he is your ex

[FunkyBoldRibena]

Exdp is now saying we're selfish and dp should take time off work

'Yes, you are quite right exdp, you are no father to our son and drink is more important than your child's welfare. Slow hand clap all round.'

[MassaAttack]

What about your ex's mum?