To question why this board even exists? Are WE being unreasonable?

[wol1968]

Why do we even have a board that questions our 'reasonableness'? Are we being the thought police? Do we have so little confidence in our own choices and understanding of our own emotions that we have to refer to others all the time to tell us how we should behave and (god help us) feel in this situation or that? Or are we brainwashed socialised to believe that every difficult emotional situation is somehow our fault, or down to us to put right?

I sometimes wonder if men would ever post regularly on a board entitled 'Am I being an arse?' I can't help thinking, no, most of them wouldn't feel the need to, even (especially!) if they were being arses. They'd feel much better about turning their backs on unbearable situations and just walking away, or shouting 'I don't care what you lot think, I think this is wrong'. Perhaps we need more of this 'sod off' attitude and less of the hand-wringing 'what did I do to deserve this?'

I can't help thinking of George Bernard Shaw's adage about all progress being due to the unreasonable man. After all, many (most?) of the women who fought for the vote, for equal rights, for removing the missiles from Greenham Common, and all sorts of other brave and very right causes, were regarded as incredibly unreasonable, to the point that some were put in jail for their pains. You don't change the world by fitting in with it. And you haven't really grown up on here unless you've been told you are being (vvvvv) unreasonable. (I grew up like that a while ago over a hairdressing thread where I wanted slightly more, um, intuitive service than a tape measure and 'how much do you want off?' I was happy to accept that my expectations were unreasonable for a tenner, but the postscript is that the hairdressers in question has just closed down. Draw your own conclusions. ).

So go on, tell me I'm being VVVVV U. I'm a grown-up. I can handle it.

[NotYouNaanBread]

My husband basically thinks that the existence of this board is what is wrong with England. :) So you have an ally in him at least!

But even though I know you're right, it's one of the boards I read the most.

[Sallystyle]

I agree which is why I have only ever posted one or two AIBU threads.

I am never unreasonable to feel how I feel, I know that.

And I am quite happy to make my own decisions on how to act on them.

I think it is mostly just a place where people come to talk and moan mostly though.

[MrsTerryPratchett]

It's not used right . I had an issue where clearly someone thought they were right and I clearly thought I was right. AIBU sorted me right out and said we were both BU. It really helped. Actually, it really, really helped and the library holds no terrors for me now.

However, it is used as a general catch-all grumpy section which is not right.

YABU so is everyone else here.

[CorporateRockWhore]

It has it's place, when people genuinely don't know if they are in the right or wrong, it's the kind of 'Am I Being Unreasonable To Think That My Eyes Are Blue' that really piss me off.

[tiggerkid]

I think we all look for some sort of external validation at one time or another and, from what I've seen so far, that seems to be what's happening here. Human psyche so to speak.

The title of the board is a bit mad though, I agree. Especially when you look at the range of topics some of which have nothing to do with any reason at all :)

[TheReluctantCountess]

Yabu.

[tiggerkid]

it's the kind of 'Am I Being Unreasonable To Think That My Eyes Are Blue' that really piss me off. - HAHA - this is exactly the kind of question that I think has nothing to do with any reason

[FunLovinBunster]

L'enfer c'est les autres.
Never was a truer phrase used about MN.

[Pyjamaramadrama]

I think it's pretty stupid on the whole. I'm incredibly indecisive and probably not confident in my own decisions. If I post here I usually end up still thinking I'm right anyway so what was the point?

It's catty and nasty at times supportive and entertaining, a little addictive though.

[Littledidsheknow]

Umm... but isn't it intended to be, essentially, light-hearted?
The title of the topic itself suggest this, sort of being akin to "does my bum look big in this?"
I still think it mainly is light-hearted; it's just a shame some people turn it into a bun fight.

[FidelineAndBombazine]

wol you do realise the existential issue you have created, don't you?

[FickleUsernameChooser]

Mmm meta. I like it. I think sometimes people want a bit of validation for grumbling about how crap things are. I don't mind it as long as people are polite.

[onefootinthebed]

I have been thinking of this thread all weekend, hope all went you're way op.