Loyalty or BU?

[LastTango]

If an adult called your child "an irritating little cunt and he would smash his face in" in front of people and, next day, you found your best friend laughing and joking with this man........what would you think?

[Fudgeface123]

????????????????????

[PedlarsSpanner]

I don't know

I would certainly be avoiding the man. Did the friend witness the intimidation?

If so they would be for the chop

[Staryyeyedsurprise]

The adult who did it would be cut out of my life. There is no reason to ever speak like that to any child and if they spoke like that to MY child they'd be told in no uncertain terms what I thought. Was the friend present at the incident? Do they know it took place?

[SlicedAndDiced]

If the friend didn't know then you'd need to tell her.

If she did know then maybe she too is an irritating c**t?

[araiba]

what kind of car crash is this?????????

[SarcyMare]

or maybe she is afraid of this person and being polite to protect herself, been there done that.

[WallyBantersJunkBox]

I would think my F didn't know the situation.

I would tell my F about the situation.

If my F minimised the situation I would minimise the friendship.

[LastTango]

Best friend says that SHE hasn't fallen out with him and therefore has no reason not to speak to him. Yes she knows about it all, it happened in her house.

[SlicedAndDiced]

In that case my second scenario is true.

[MorphineDreams]

I wouldn't be happy, partly because my best friend's child is my godchild.

I would dump your 'best friend'.

[akwardsazzle]

what kind of person even says that! callling a child that and saying they would smash their face in! If my best friend, or any friend thought that was okay then I think it would be the end of the friendship.

[picnicbasketcase]

I would think that person had decided to not be my friend anymore. It might sound childish but there we go.

[Staryyeyedsurprise]

LastTango
Best friend says that SHE hasn't fallen out with him and therefore has no reason not to speak to him. Yes she knows about it all, it happened in her house

I'm putting myself in your best friend's situation. I'm witnessing someone saying that to my best friend's child in my house. I say "oi nobby, you're bang out of order". I wait to see what his reaction is - whether he is contrite etc. If not, my BEST FRIEND and her child would come first. I'd probably avoid him, seeing as he treated my BEST FRIEND's child so badly and had little disregard for me as host. I'm not sure I could do anything else.

[LastTango]

TBH I am pretty upset that she has chosen to not support me and my son, especially as it was in her own house. But she IS pretty flaky to be honest and hates confrontation with anyone over anything. When she could see how upset I was she DID backtrack a little and say she was only passing the time of day, not holding a conversation with him.

[Inertia]

I'd report the adult to the police for making threats of assault towards a child, and then I'd ditch the so-called friend.

[flyingtrue]

I'd think either she agreed with him, excused his behaviour because she fancied him or was scared of him.

I'd distance myself, personally. How old is your child and how did your friend excuse what he said? Not the not falling out but how did she excuse his words?

[AlpacaPicnic]

I would not be friendly towards anyone who wasn't horrified by that behaviour.
(Or would I? I've confused myself with all the negatives)
Threatening adult would be dropped like a rock. I would expect any friend of mine to support me. Any friend who didn't would no longer be a friend.

[TheHouseCleaner]

She's no friend. A decent person would tell the abusive man to leave immediately and that he's not welcome back, no matter what their relationship. A friend would do all that and cold shoulder him thereafter.

I'd dump her but not before telling her why in no uncertain terms.

[Muskey]

I really don't think you need to ask.......not much of a friend is she

[kawliga]

Wow, somebody called your child a cunt and threatened to smash their face in, and what you are coming here to ask advice on is... your relationship with your best friend? WTAF? Your best friend's reaction is your main concern?

[Thelittlepapermouse]

What did you do/say to him after he threatened your child OP? Because
I would have smashed a glass in his face.

[blanklook]

what would you think

I'd think I'd stumbled into the Jeremy Kyle show.

[PhaedraIsMyName]

what kind of person even says that

Indeed:to anyone far less a child.