To have "made" DS's friend go swimming

[Frontier]

He's here for the day because his mum had to work. They're 13 though so he doesn't need looking after a such, she just wanted him to have a place to go.

So, they've been on Xbox etc all morning and then I gave them lunch (which I made them have at the table!!) then I said right get your stuff and off you go. I had previously arranged with mum that this was what the plan was and he brought his kit so it can't have been a complete surprise but he made it clear he'd far rather spend the afternoon playing video games.

Anyway I put my foot down and told them they'd had enough screen time, off you go. He was then most put out that I wasn't going and that they'd have to walk (I'd told mum this was the plan too) It's exactly a mile along a main road with a wide grassy verge and a good footpath, so they're quite safe and I gave them cash for snacks afterwards. I'm really not that horrible, am I?

Will he never want to come again?

[NorwaySpruce]

He'll have a whale of a time once they are there (assuming he swims well!).

It'll be fine.

[amyhamster]

Yanbu !
Ds (10) has friends round who want to sit on xbox all day
I find it easy to tell ds to turn it off but always feel bad when his friends moan about it

[TurboWithAKick]

Not sure.... At 13 they could go through a shy body stage, sits etc, so dunno!

[TurboWithAKick]

*spots!!!

[Frontier]

Yes, that's exactly where I am amy. When it's just my DSs I can easily tell them to turn it off, or actually, this holiday we have a rule that says no screens at all until minds and bodies have ben exercised. But, it's all their friends want to do when they come here and I do like to think their friends like to come IYSWIM. I don't want to be the boring house no-one wants to go to.

[Frontier]

No Turbo, this was definitely about wanting to stay home, rather than not wanting to go swimming IYSWIM

[amyhamster]

Ooh I like the minds & bodies thing
Might have to try that one !

[CalamityKate1]

In my day we wouldn't have dared moan in front of/to a friend's parents no matter what they suggested!

If you were in someone else's house it was all "Yes please thankyou Mrs Patterson" with no thought of rebellion.

[MrsWinnibago]

YANBU! My friend's parents would have done the same to me as a kid.

[PourquoiTuGachesTaVie]

I would never have moaned at a friend's parent no matter what they asked me to do! My mum would have had serious words with me had I even thought about it.

Is this what kids do nowadays and what I have to look forward to then?

[ChickenMe]

Not U. Good that you put your foot down. He'd probably like to eat Haribo and chips for lunch if he could but as you're the adult, you know better about what's good for him. It's your house and you are in charge.

[susiedaisy]

My only concern is the heat how hot is it where you are? we have sunny skies here with no clouds and it's reading 28 degrees on my car. We are staying out of the sun it sooo hot. So I would be concerned with them walking a mile there and a mile back tbh. But I agree with you about getting them off the games console and doing something else.

[Frontier]

LOL Chicken. He brought a big bag of haribo with him to share and they were gone within minutes. I didn't put my foot down over that. Maybe I should have

[SarcyMare]

very proper behaviour

[Frontier]

Really, It's ever too hot for a 20 min walk in UK? I gave them a bottle of water each to take with them.

[TheReluctantCountess]

Yanbu, but it's bloody hot for the walk there and back.

[susiedaisy]

Frontier of course it can be too hot for plenty of people and some animals.

[susiedaisy]

I assume you also put plenty of sun cream and a hat on them as well?

[mumaa]

oh my goodness, YANBU! when we were kids and it was glorious outside we weren't even allowed indoors, we would walk for miles or cycle many more on bikes often with no drink to be had. We weren't given money, but instructed to go out and play, however did we cope!? We also had to walk to and from school (30 min walk eachway) in all weathers, with no adult supervision, quick, call social services (and this was at primary school!)

[ElephantsNeverForgive]

YANBU
If the agreed plan for the day involved swimming, then swimming is what they do.

I'd be jolly grumpy if DD2 returned dry having been staring at a screen. She does too much of that when on her own.

Even at 13 (or DD1s 16) I'm not going to object if the hosting parent gives them a general shove off the sofa.

Neither, in retrospect, will the DDs mind.

[Frontier]

Susie? They're 13 and they were going to be outdoors for 20 mins, then another 20mins coming back after 3:30/4pm. Yes DS had a hat, his friend was offered one if he wanted it. If they used their brains there's a shady side of the road. They have water and they're going swimming at the end of it. . 20 mins.

I can just imagine what people would have said if I'd posted AIBU to "put suncream on" my DS's 13yo friend

We're going walking in the Lakes next week. I'm hoping the weather going to be just like this (although realise it's unlikely)

[susiedaisy]

Being 13 has nothing to so with it, you still burn very easily at 13 years old, and the friend is capable of putting sun cream on his neck shoulders etc. like I said my concern would be with being out in the heat without sun cream or a hat, in the sun here at the moment it's 35degrees. Anyway each to their own. I'm sure they would of had a lot of fun swimming.

[UnrelatedToElephants]

After the walk they'll be dying to get into the pool. YANBU!

[Bluebelljumpsoverthemoon]

I would never have been allowed to stay in the house on a hot day at that age and my two year old won't be allowed to waste a lovely day indoors until she's paying her own rent.

As for the sun terror lectures from some, I'm alabaster coloured and have never burnt or gotten any colour other than the same shade of white I always am plus a few freckles, I rarely use sunscreen. My pale although slightly tanned dd only gets sunscreen at noon for the first few weeks of summer then there's no reason to because the skin gets used to the sun with daily exposure. No non albino will burn in British/Irish summer if they are out every day of the year and use a small amount of sunscreen in for the first few hot days until their skin gets used to it. I hate seeing sickly looking kids unnecessarily slathered in factor fifty and covered up to the point where they develop a sun allergy (where they'll blister and burn within seconds upon first step outside without sunscreen when they're rebellious teens) and rickets from lack of exposure. Sun hats and sunscreen may be necessary in Australia, not so much North Western Europe.

[Frontier]

Ooh well if you say so sunshine. just as well it's not a school day what with the walk too and from school and a whole hour outdoors at midday with no-one there to fuss over hats and sunscreen, or would you keep your dc home because its a hot day?

They came back happy and 2 out of 3 refused the offer of a drink when they came in so i don't think it can have been that bad