To think that he should have stayed home?

[curiousgeorgie]

Last night I put my neck out in my sleep. For anyone who hasn't ever done this, it's excruciating and it spasms for ages and in my case, leaves me unable to move without agonising pain (or sometimes just not at all.)

This has happened before and so I have a prescription of diazepam, tramadol and naproxen to take which helps. Except I have none at the moment.

DH was sleeping in the spare room because my 3 year old is having a bad sleeping phase at the moment and I text him early this morning to say I've really hurt myself could he please come in...

He either ignored it or wasn't up yet, but eventually he popped his head in the room to say he was going to work...

I said something along the lines of 'are you bloody kidding me? I can't even get up?!'

We also have a 13 month old who was asleep in her room.

So he left. And DD2 screamed for almost an hour while I tried to get up and get to her. I still can't get her out of her bed. My 3 year old has severe hypermobility and I need to carry her down the stairs and help her get up / down furniture etc all day.

This is impossible. I am pissed off.

[Sirzy]

Oh no do you have anyone who can help you?

Is his job one whereby he could have stayed off? Unfortunatly I doubt most employers would allow it -- but he should have at least made sure you were sorted before going in

[CundtBake]

What the hell? Can you call him and get him to come back?

Is he always such a complete arsehole?

[Tinkerball]

He's left you unable to get up? In charge of his children?

[curiousgeorgie]

He usually works from home at least one day a week, he works on his laptop even in the office so I don't see why he couldn't do today. We do have a funeral next week he is taking a day off for but it's not a regular occurrence.

I usually phone my mum in a crisis but last night she told me how ill she was feeling so I just can't.

[Eebahgum]

Wow - assuming he read the text/realised how much pain you were in I'm really shocked that he walked out and left his children with you when you're incapable of caring for them. Is there someone else you could call on for help like a friend or family member?

[NorwaySpruce]

It's difficult.

I wouldn't be able to take time off just like that. If he can't do it, he can't do it.

Did he know you have no drugs? Perhaps he could pick up a prescription some time today?

[curiousgeorgie]

I am seething. Seriously seething.

[fluffyraggies]

Did he realise the extent of the situation? Does he know how bad it is?

FWIW there are certain days my DH would not be able to take an unplanned day off (it would mean no money for us and two other families) however even at those times he would sort the kids quickly and then go in late.

[curiousgeorgie]

He knows there's only paracetamol / nurofen in the house. They don't even touch it. I will take a couple of each but usually I have to just be careful and let it run it's course with better painkillers and muscle relaxants.

It's not like it happens a lot. At Easter I put my back / neck out and my mum helped me. Before then it's been over a year.

[fluffyraggies]

Could you call him and ask him to at least get your prescription?

[curiousgeorgie]

He works an hour and a half away. He wouldn't be able to. I'm sure I can get someone to get the prescription for me today but I just can't believe he went. I haven't even gone down and let the dog out yet!! He could've bloody done that. He could have done something.

And I know it's not that hard for him to have a day off.

[Only1scoop]

So you text him in another room In your house? Did he get text? I'd have shouted until he came if I couldn't move....
When he put head around door did he realise you couldn't move? If so how could he just leave you? Have you got downstairs yet?

[curiousgeorgie]

I couldn't shout because my 3 year old was asleep next to me and my baby across the hall... And because I was laying on my front with a pillow sort of half wedged between my neck and shoulder it was hard. He got the text.

[curiousgeorgie]

I'm about to try and go downstairs. My DD2 has had enough of sitting in her cot.

I've never been so angry in my whole life.

[HibiscusIsland]

You poor thing. I've only ever had this (torticollis) once in my life, about 20 years ago and it was absolute agony and like you say, you can't move. He should at least have got your prescription

[defineme]

There must be history to this op?
No normal person would leave a stranger in that situation let alone their wife and kids?
Is your relationship in trouble?
is he usually caring towards all of you?
I would be texting him in great detail about how this is affecting his kids.

[NorksEnormous]

Yes he absolutely should have stayed home today. I'm not surprised you are angry. I know you say your mum is not well but asking her might br the only way you get help today? And you really need it!

[DontstepontheMomeRaths]

My ExH used to do stuff like this. Unless I really made a fuss he'd just go ahhh well nevermind and toddle off. In his mind I think he felt I was over exaggerating.

[Jinsei]

So when he said that he was going to work, you presumably tried to stop him? And he refused?

[HolgerDanske]

From the strength of your anger (which I totally understand, by the way, I'd be furious too unless it turns out going to work was unavoidable) it sounds like it might be the tip of the iceberg. Is he usually very dismissive of you and your needs?

I hope not and I hope he was just being spectacularly dense this morning.

I hope you get through the day ok and that the babies will make it as easy as possible for you.

[redskybynight]

Did he even get the text? I am really thinking that this sound like he didn't realise how bad you were? Unless he has a history of behaving like this of course.

[HolgerDanske]

Can't actually believe he didn't do whatever he could to help you out. He should have done, even if he did have to go to work.

[StillStayingClassySanDiego]

Does he think you're putting it on?

I can't imagine anyone leaving small children with someone physically incapable of lifting a baby from a cot.

It's odd.

[BeckAndCall]

It sounds to me like he didn't realise how serious it is - he wasn't in the same room as you, when he came in you were quiet so as not to wake the toddler, he just carried on with his normal routine.

If it hasn't happended for a year, he isn't expecting it on a daily basis and he maybe didn't remember that it could be this bad. It's possible you're being hard on him and seething about it won't help - you need to call him and ask if he can come back and work at home.

But even if there was medicine in the house - taking such strong pain killers and being in charge of tiny people is a dangerous mix. I remember when I once took diazepam for my back, I was off with the fairies after one dose and had to call my neighbour to come over as the kids could've done anything and I wouldn't have noticed.

[curiousgeorgie]

He is generally a nice guy, he really is.

We've been together 11 years so he knows how bad this is when it happens. I didn't think for a second he would go to work and leave me like this.

I've had my 3 year old crawl backwards down the stairs (she can't do stairs at all) and managed to get my baby down under one arm and into her play pen where I imagine she'll be for the foreseeable future. I can't let the bloody dog out because the back gate is open and it really needs a yank to close it and there's just no way. Ffs.

I've tried to call him but hes not answering.

My mum must be bad because she's not answering her phone, she was really poorly last night. I can't bother her with this.