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AIBU?

To think there's no such thing as a low sex drive?

111 replies

Stressedoutandworriedaboutever · 23/07/2014 07:50

There's just bad sex?

Obviously not including issues of having young kids/work making you tireder, surely if you are having good sex, you are going to want it all the time?

With my ex I barely wanted sex, and told myself it was just that I had a low sex drive. Now with my new partner I realise it was just that the sex with my ex wasn't very good.

Aibu to think that naturally low sex drives don't exist, it's just bad sex or bad relationships?

OP posts:

Report

GingerPuddin · 23/07/2014 07:54

There is low sex drive! I changed birth control and totally lost my sex drive. Wasn't interested in DH and rarely thought about sex. Just no interest. Now I've changed pills and DH and I are having sex regularly and I'm thinking about sex a lot more.

HolgerDanske · 23/07/2014 07:56

Of course there is.

Stressedoutandworriedaboutever · 23/07/2014 07:57

But that's not a natural low sex drive, that was caused by hormones being added to your system. The fact that your sex drive bounced back proves my point that your sec drive was never naturally low

OP posts:

Mumof3xox · 23/07/2014 07:57

As someone else said birth control can affect your sex drive, it affects mine greatly

eurochick · 23/07/2014 07:57

Of course there is. What a silly post.

upyourninja · 23/07/2014 07:57

YABU. Yes there is. Medically , hormonally, or psychologically low and high sex drives all exist.

unweavedrainbow · 23/07/2014 07:59

what about medical reasons for reduced sex drive, like lower testosterone levels in men? Do you not believe in those?

CoolCat2014 · 23/07/2014 08:01

Of course there is, but there is likely to be an underlying r

hobnobsaremyfavourite · 23/07/2014 08:02

Have you conducted extensive peer reviewed research to come to that conclusion op.....or did you just mske it up?

SybilRamkin · 23/07/2014 08:03

YABU. Of course it exists.

If you've got a new partner you're probably going through the whole 'it's all new and exciting' thing (lasts about a year), so of course you want to do it all the time.

CoolCat2014 · 23/07/2014 08:04

Underlying reason like low testosterone levels in men or women. Women eho are given testosterone find they have a higher sex drive.

Antidepressants and all sorts of other things can cause low sex drive. That's different from not being interested in sex because you don't enjoy it.

SilverShadows · 23/07/2014 08:04

How new is "new partner"?

I ask because in my long term relationships sex was far more frequent during the first couple of years before it would settle down to a more sustainable level.

Also, what do you call high/low in terms of frequency?

BuzzardBird · 23/07/2014 08:04

Ill thought out post, based on no evidence.

JonSnowsPout · 23/07/2014 08:04

So your two man experience talks for every other person on the planet?

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 23/07/2014 08:04

Daft, goady post.

puntasticusername · 23/07/2014 08:06

YABU. You haven't the first clue what you're talking about.

LST · 23/07/2014 08:07

How ridiculous of you to think that!

adsy · 23/07/2014 08:07

Of course there is.
Breastfeeding gives many people a low sex drive.

dickiedavisthunderthighs · 23/07/2014 08:09

Thanks for imparting that amazing piece of knowledge based on the robust sample size of two

fluffyraggies · 23/07/2014 08:10

A naturally occurring imbalance of hormone levels, causing a low sex drive, is a natural occurrence.

ie: naturally low sex drive.

I think you are confusing 'natural' with 'normal' or 'average', OP.

FraidyCat · 23/07/2014 08:11

With my ex I barely wanted sex, and told myself it was just that I had a low sex drive. Now with my new partner I realise it was just that the sex with my ex wasn't very good.

There is research that shows that women's sex drive tends to decrease the longer they've been with one partner and automatically increases if they get a new one. (The same is not true for men.) You need to factor that in.

Here's a link to a Daily Mail article which in turn mentions the research.

A happy, healthy relationship and sex life are all very well, but when it comes to measuring a woman's sexual desire, all scientists really need to know is how long a couple has been together.

Women's sex drives gradually ebb over time, say the authors of a new study, while a man's stays at around the same level.

In fact, on a desirability scale, women's yearnings decreased steadily with every passing month of a relationship, making it possible to gauge a woman's sex drive just by looking at a union's duration.

Read more: www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2095155/How-womans-sex-drive-declines-time--mans-stays-strong-ever.html#ixzz38H093B6y

BuzzardBird · 23/07/2014 08:12

Btw, we all love sex more with a new partner. I am glad you are enjoying yourself :)

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x2boys · 23/07/2014 08:15

When I first met dh we were at it like rabbits nine years later not so much ! Sex isn't any worse its just the newness and excitement of a new relationship has long worn off .

FraidyCat · 23/07/2014 08:17

A non-Daily-Mail link to a similar article, for those who prefer that.

www.livescience.com/18233-women-lose-sexual-desire.html

JohnFarleysRuskin · 23/07/2014 08:19

Do you think all people have the same appetites and abilities too?

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