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What should I do next? (Neighbour related!)

(31 Posts)
tiredbutstillsmiling Fri 11-Jul-14 21:21:37

Earlier today a car company dropped off a brand new car for my husband to test drive over w'end. They parked it outside house on road. We live on a small cul-de-sac and the road is tight so we all park up on the pavements. When I explained that to drop-off guy he said he couldn't so that as it may damage car. Fair enough. Cars could still get past, even a large van drove past ...

... that was until my neighbour opposite came back from work and parked in his usual spot which meant the test drive car now blocked the road. I didn't know this until I heard a constant blaring of a horn. I looked out of window to find another neighbour banging on his horn and his mother pacing the road.

I went outside to explain I couldn't move the car as not insured, but he kept banging the horn and gesticulating aggressively. I'm embarrassed to say I burst into tears. I'm nearly 37 weeks pg and am having a stressful pregnancy (actually posted Weds about small growth!). The woman kept saying "what are you getting upset for? He only wants to get past You should've made sure cars could get past". I kept trying to explain I couldn't move the car and it hadn't been an issue until other neighbour had parked opposite, but he just kept banging the horn. Eventually neighbour opposite came out and moved his car, they drove off to leave me sitting in my hall shaking with a 3 yo asking why mummy was crying.

This all happened around 5pm. We've just had horn-blaring neighbour come round with flowers - my husband answered the door as I'm in bed trying to relax.

What do I do next? Do I just accept flowers and not say anything (our paths don't really cross) but then I'll feel like an ungrateful so and so? Or do I go around and say thank you - but then I've for to face the people who made me cry like a baby and I already feel mortified at that.

Thanks for baring with me! This probably seems a very long winded story over nothing. I think the pregnancy hormones are working overtime.

sonjadog Fri 11-Jul-14 21:25:57

Could you send a card saying thank you, if you can't face them? I think you should accept the flowers gracefully. This isn't worth starting a neighbourhood conflict over and the neighbour obviously knows he behaved badly.

DoJo Fri 11-Jul-14 21:28:46

I think a card would be a good compromise - you can compose something suitably appreciative without worrying about facing them whilst you're still in a vulnerable and emotional state.

limitedperiodonly Fri 11-Jul-14 21:29:54

Knock on the door in a day or so and say thanks for the flowers. He'll probably grovel even more grin He sounds nice. Just probably having a mad moment provoked by his mum.

Is it a nice car, btw?

It sounds like tensions ran high today. I would accept the flowers and move on. It seems like they are sorry.

maddening Fri 11-Jul-14 21:33:58

It sounds like they realised what massive twats they have been.

I think you should accept the flowers - I bet they'll feel like knobs every time they see you.

tiredbutstillsmiling Fri 11-Jul-14 21:38:28

I was thinking a card but didn't know whether that would seem too dismissive maybe, like I can't be bothered to personally say "thanks, apology accepted".

Definitely don't want poor neighbourly relations. I even stopped DH from going around to confront them when he arrive home to a sobbing wife!

In hindsight I wish I had said "can't you park here for now? DH will be home soon and we'll let you know when car is moved" but I'm not very good in confrontational situations - as I said I just tend to either freeze or cry!

Oh and yes it's a very nice car :-) Honda CRV for our ever expanding family :-)

gimcrack Fri 11-Jul-14 21:38:32

It's very sweet that they've bought you flowers. Accept them, thank them. I thought this post was going to end with them yelling at you and making your life a misery.

You're pregnant, you've got a kid to look after. Imagine them - they can't get by because some idiot is badly parked. They kick up, realise that it's no one's fault and you're pregnant. Not only do they back down, they feel bad they've upset you and buy you flowers. OP, they are lovely - so thank them.

KirstyJC Fri 11-Jul-14 21:38:55

Take the flowers and do nothing more. Enjoy them.

Continue nodding in passing if you see them, otherwise forget it and move on.

PosingInManilla Fri 11-Jul-14 21:39:49

Oh that sounds awful. It sounds like he was being a knob - blaring his horn instead of knocking? And ordinarily you'd have probably shrugged it off, but I remember bring 39 weeks pregnant and feeling murderous because someone criticised my parking.

I'd knock or put a card through, saying thanks for the flowers and put it behind you both.

tiredbutstillsmiling Fri 11-Jul-14 21:44:48

All agreed then - definitely warrants a thank you. It'll have to be a card though as I'm too embarrassed at the fact I cried uncontrollably on my doorstep. The other neighbours witnessed this as well :-(

I'm going to hide in my house til the baby is born.

MrsWinnibago Fri 11-Jul-14 21:57:40

Ah poor you. Don't give it a moment's thought. Do the card if you feel like it otherwise just smile and wave and call "Thanks for the flowers...so kind!" when you see them again.

They're more embarrassed than you I guarantee it!

liz5029 Fri 11-Jul-14 22:02:09

I'd send them a card and then forget about them, he may have been having a really bad day and that was the final straw but then he realised he was wrong. I'd be more annoyed with the idiot neighbour who parked blocking the road tbh

Shakey1500 Fri 11-Jul-14 22:06:59

That's really jolly decent of the annoying horn blower. Nice to hear of smile

I'm sure you'll find a way that suits you to accept the apology. And all the best with the rest of your pregnancy thanks <--some more

IamSlave Fri 11-Jul-14 22:08:14

They're more embarrassed than you I guarantee it

I agree you poor thing!!!!

I was shunted into a car park today, one that you wait and look to see who is leaving as some cock was jamming into his horn...so I got into car park and missed a space, and I looked nad he wasnt even horning me. angry

Its the noise and the urgency of it.

I have to say though its just human nature...when I am doing a 3 point turn I expect people to be pateint and wait, when someone else is doing one I do find myself every so slighty frusttated thinking....GET ON WITH IT....ARGHH

BlackeyedSusan Fri 11-Jul-14 23:23:18

you can get away with alsorts when you are pregnant. don't worry about it.

MidniteScribbler Sat 12-Jul-14 00:28:17

Seriously? That's pretty pathetic. Your vehicle was blocking the road, so just get the bloody keys and move it. If you couldn't park it like everyone else and not block the road, then you should have told the dealer to park it somewhere else where it didn't block traffic, even if that meant they couldn't leave it right outside your door.

HaroldLloyd Sat 12-Jul-14 00:33:51

Your not pathetic. I cried when I was pregnant when a wasp flew in the room.

differentnameforthis Sat 12-Jul-14 01:22:02

Seriously? That's pretty pathetic. Your vehicle was blocking the road, so just get the bloody keys and move it

Did you read the bit where op said she wasn't INSURED to drive it?

FFSFFS Sat 12-Jul-14 01:23:56

Aww, that was nice of horn blowing neighbour. If it was me I would pop over to say thank you, you can all be embarrassed together grin
He can be embarrassed for horn blowing and you for crying. It's sweet.
It really doesn't matter if you are embarrassed even if you blush and stutter - it's fine, nobody else will mind. Maybe if you take your DD with you you won't feel quite so self conscious.

Horn blowing guy has done a nice thing and I think it would be nice of you to say a quick thank you.

I'm nearly 50 but I can still blush when I get into some situations but it doesn't really bother me anymore. No one cares if I blush a little.

MidniteScribbler Sat 12-Jul-14 02:33:09

It would have been putting two wheels on the kerb, not going joyriding, I doubt she would need an insurance claim. In the end it shouldn't have been parked like that and the OP knew that leaving it parked like that would inconvenience neighbours so shouldn't have let the dealer leave it there.

FredFlintstonesSister Sat 12-Jul-14 02:45:15

Horn blower sent flowers in recognition of being an arse. No need to thank him!!! And no one has an automatic right to a parking space outside their door - across the way neighbour is at fault for parking in a way that blocks the road! Never move a car you are not insures to drive any distance at all! Basically, OP, enjoy your flowers - you have done nothing wrong nor do you need to show gratitude to horn blower!

Bogeyface Sat 12-Jul-14 03:18:20

it shouldn't have been parked like that and the OP knew that leaving it parked like that would inconvenience neighbours so shouldn't have let the dealer leave it there.

Actually, legally the dealer was in the right and the other neighbour wasnt. You are not suppose to park with wheels on the pavement if you are causing an obstruction so if in doubt, dont do it, and given that the OPs car was there first the neighbour who double parked was the one who caused the problem. And she did tell the dealer, but they refused to move it.

We have a parking "system" here that we all understand. Cars park on one side of the road part way down and then at a given point they are parked on the other side because of visibility on a corner. We all know this but visitors dont. If a visitor parked on the "wrong" side of the road, should I still park outside my house despite the fact that it will block the road? Of course not.

And no, I wouldnt bother thanking flower-giver, it isnt necessary. Accepting them is accepting the apology, thats enough. He will assume that as you havent shoved them up his arse, you are ok with it.

lettertoherms Sat 12-Jul-14 03:26:11

Just a quick note, "Thank you for the flowers -- they've brightened up our kitchen table[or whatever]." If you feel it is appropriate, one more line something like, "We appreciate the neighborly gesture." You don't have to rehash the incident (potentially embarrassing for all) but you do make it clear you're accepting the apology graciously.

Brabra Sat 12-Jul-14 03:42:37

Oh my god! of course you feel embarrassed, You sound ridiculously hard work. I am surprised they sent flowers, maybe you are known for being a bit pathetic?

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