To find it amusing how some people get angry when others won't give in to their demands?

[floraldora]

DD (age 15) has a friend that she has known since primary school. Her friend's mum is ok, but I've always kept a bit of a distance because she is very demanding and there is much foot stamping and tantrumming (from the mum) if she doesn't get her own way.

DD has come home this afternoon:

"X says her mum says you've got to call her tonight because she wants to talk about the London trip with you"

Me: "If she wants to talk to me, she can call me. I don't call people when they demand that I have to call them"

DD relayed the information to her friend that the mum needs to call me if she wants to speak to me, and is now getting text messages from her friend saying how cross the mum is that I haven't called her.

After witnessing quite a lot of this type of behaviour from the mum over the years, I am actually finding it quite amusing imagining her spitting feathers because I don't say "how high?" when she demands that I jump.

[MrsWinnibago]

YABU. It all sounds a bit petty really.

[CoffeeTea103]

Sounds like a playground issues with both your dds caught in the middle.

[floraldora]

No playground issues from me.

Do you just do what someone demands of you all the time?

[OutragedFromLeeds]

I don't know if 'can your mum call me?' is a demand really. Isn't she just asking so that you can call at a time convenient to you?

I agree it all sounds a bit petty.

[WorraLiberty]

I could well have been that "Can you ask your Mum to call me when she's free"...might have turned into "You've got to call her".

I would've just called her tbh.

[ViviPru]

Talking on the phone?

[floraldora]

It was said that I 'had to call her'

This is how the mum speaks and makes demands all the time.

She has my number. Surely she could have phoned me or sent a text if it was that important?

[SaucyJack]

YABU to find it amusing- sounds like you're playing power games just as much as she is.

If you'd just quietly waited for her to ring you that would be different and perfectly reasonable.

[TheXxed]

I don't understand, asking someone to call is for your convenience surely.

[floraldora]

Perhaps I am just irked because I have had many cheeky demands from this mum over the years and I've had enough?

[SquigglySquid]

Does she not have your phone number?

I have an aunt that's like this, demanding and prone to tantrums. I just sort of shrug it off and do my own thing.

I like to sort of "misunderstand" and brush people off when they get demanding.

"Get me a glass of water"
"Oh sure! Glasses are over there." :)

Then they get the option of trying to explain that they actually wanted me to do it, or they can just do it themselves. Sometimes I get passive aggressive, and do it wrong or forget their request when I wander off The point is to make it a lost cause because I don't give them fuel for a tantrum and they don't get what they want.

[SiennaBlake]

Oh dear. Sounds like the other mums "can you ask her to call me when she's free" has been translated poorly and you've been quite petty about it.

[ViviPru]

[indigo18]

I think you both need to grow up. Feel sorry for your daughter.

[floraldora]

She wouldn't have said the sentence that you have quoted, SiennaBlake. It would have been a demand

[OutragedFromLeeds]

It was said that you had to call her from her to her Dd, to your Dd, to you. Have you ever played Chinese whispers?

[SiennaBlake]

So more like "get her to call me when she's free"? It still sounds petty to me.

[floraldora]

As I have said, the mum is very demanding and has made that type of demand before.

[floraldora]

No Sienna, she more than likely would have said "Tell X's mum she's got to call me". Big difference

[SiennaBlake]

Oh well, if she said it like that, id say yanbu not to call! That would irritate me too.

[SirNoel]

I think something's been lost in translation

[floraldora]

I probably am being unreasonable and I probably am being childish, but I have really had enough of the mum barking orders at me and always expecting things to go her own way. It is things like if the girls are out together the mum will send me a text "You will have to bring X home as I'm busy". There are never any pleases, thank yous, or acknowledgement that I don't actually answer to her or have to do as she says

[HayDayQueen]

I agree, it is amusing when someone gets the huff when thing don't go their way.

A few mums like that at school atm, organising all sorts of things and getting the hump when you don't jump up and help/join in straight away! I do help and go to as lots of events, so refuse to give in and feel guilty because they think THEIR things are that much more important than everything else in people's lives.....

[SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius]

I got stuck between my MIL-to-be and my mum - each wanted to have a chat with the other about the wedding, but neither of them would ring the other.

In the end I got quite sharp with my mum, and told her that I didn't want to be stuck between the two of them, and would she please just stop being so stubborn and phone my MIL-to-be.

For the sake of your dd, couldn't you swallow your pride and just ring the woman?

[SquigglySquid]

Perhaps I am just irked because I have had many cheeky demands from this mum over the years and I've had enough?

Completely understandable and reasonable. This isn't about a phone call, it's about her attitude and how she expects everyone to cater to her.

People like that are like fingernails on a chalk board.

But, you are adding fuel to the fire the way you're going about it. Stop giving her a reaction. Just gently set up boundaries and stick to them. She's bossy because more likely than not, you've given into her demands in the past.