To ask what is your instinctive response to hearing a child is Home Educated?

(1000 Posts)
NickiFury Thu 12-Jun-14 16:31:11

I am really interested to hear general opinions from everyone and hoping for some from professionals such as teachers etc. I really want to know what people think because in the main in RL, the response is overwhelmingly negative. I've had people threaten to call SS on me because ds isn't in school, been told it's "weird" and seen this confused face a lot.

Now to me home education is a totally normal thing but I suspect this is only because we are immersed in this world and know lots of other HE families (you'd be surprised how many are out there).

What has made me think about this was a friend telling me today that people in our community know of me and ds without ever having met us because we are notorious as that woman who doesn't send her kid to school shockgrin.

Btw I also have a child who does go to school and is doing well but no one seems to gossip about that.

So what would YOU think if you someone told you their child is home educated?

Thanks smile.

fuzzpig Thu 12-Jun-14 16:34:58

My reaction has always been "ooh, cool! Tell me more!" smile

We were very tempted to HE though and it is still a possibility someday.

Keepithidden Thu 12-Jun-14 16:35:14

First response? Very busy parents!

Assuming parents are doing the teaching. Nowt wrong with it tho'

HavantGuard Thu 12-Jun-14 16:35:20

Honestly? If the child is NT I find it weird and a bit creepy that they are being home educated. I know this is unfair but you asked for my instinctive response.

BeatriceBean Thu 12-Jun-14 16:36:35

I considered home ed and eventually decided against it.

MOst of the home ed families I know are quite weird.... so I'd probably wonder if you were weird.

CarCiKoTab Thu 12-Jun-14 16:37:31

My instant thought is 'In America' I didn't think it was possible in the UK due to laws and what not. I'm slightly envious I would love to home school but, wouldn't know where to start.

PrincessBabyCat Thu 12-Jun-14 16:38:22

I was home schooled for a year because allergies kept knocking me out all day, so I had to go by a different schedule while I got allergy shots and waited for them to take effect. Otherwise if I missed much more they would have held me back.

Honestly, it wasn't so bad. I got to sleep in and learn at my own pace which was nice. The bad part is, I didn't get much social interaction outside of a few homeschooling groups with sheltered kids who were a bit odd in my opinion.

I know a couple kids that were home schooled and they were sweeties (a bit naive, but sweet), and others that had dysfunctional social skills they picked up from their dysfunctional families that they thought was normal since they had no other point of reference.

So I'm generally on the "no" side of homeschooling because kids need the social interaction to build up those skills that are going to be crucial in the workforce. But I don't judge people about it either. There's good reasons to home school kids. Just make sure they have outside social activities like sports or local youth clubs.

saoirse31 Thu 12-Jun-14 16:38:24

Sorry for the child, wondering how able parents were to provide said education

RufusTheReindeer Thu 12-Jun-14 16:38:39

Same as fuzzpig

I always said that if my children struggled at school I would home school

I do think that done properly it can be hard work to manage more than one child and at the moment my three are quite happy

Takingthemickey Thu 12-Jun-14 16:38:47

Lentil weavers but my opinion is based on zero facts so should not count.

NickiFury Thu 12-Jun-14 16:38:56

Actually lots of people say that "wow you must be busy!" Or "shock that must be hard work, I could never do that!"

It's actually quite good fun and certainly no harder than any full time employment I have undertaken in the past and the best thing is we can be flexible. If ds just isn't in the mood or feeling edgy (ASD) we can go and do something else "educational" swimming, climbing, judo and do the other stuff later.

NickiFury Thu 12-Jun-14 16:39:52

Havant that's fine smile. No arguments here, am really interested. Why do you feel like that though? What are your concerns?

Keepithidden Thu 12-Jun-14 16:41:15

Well, you live and learn eh?!

Before I had to look into doing it myself, I would have assumed either a child with some specific sort of difficulties (maybe social or health rather than academic) or a parent who was very distrusting of 'authority' and 'the state' or felt unable to let their child go for emotional reasons.

It was quite a surprise to find how many people do it just because school doesn't suit their child, or because the available schools don't suit, or because they have thought about it and decided to do that because they think it's just a good idea in general.

AllDirections Thu 12-Jun-14 16:41:26

My first response is to feel envious... and then curious

My first thought is 'weird' and I guess I feel a bit sad for your DS as I would presume he was bullied when he was at school and because of that is missing out on social interaction with his peers. This is probably all a load of tosh though, so ignore my gut reaction!

Takingthemickey Thu 12-Jun-14 16:42:45

If ds just isn't in the mood or feeling edgy (ASD) we can go and do something else "educational" swimming, climbing, judo and do the other stuff later.

Nicky but does this flexibility not reinforce that you have the option to shift things to when you feel like doing it? How do you counter that attitude?

zazzie Thu 12-Jun-14 16:42:46

That there is no suitable school or school was failing the child.

Muskey Thu 12-Jun-14 16:42:48

I don't think it is odd what I do think is that the parents are very brave as I wouldn't, wish to teach my own child as we would drive each other nuts.

brokenhearted55a Thu 12-Jun-14 16:43:08

I was home educated.

Have never forgiven my parents for it.

They deprived me of a normal life and a life outside of their control.
I still look with envy even today at secondary school children going hanging out by themselves and coming home from school with friends.

It isnt cool, it was a drag and yes it is weird

Its mainly controlling parents with no life of their own and want their children with them 24/7.

Itscurtainsforyou Thu 12-Jun-14 16:43:14

I have a number of friends who home educate. I honestly try not to have an opinion (& definitely don't share negatives with them) but I don't get it.

I'm fairly well educated, but certainly wouldn't feel equipped to teach children all the things that they learn at school - I don't have the time/patience/resources. Also I'm not sure that its healthy for children to mainly learn from their parents, part of growing up is learning different perspectives from different people and also to learn to get along with people who are different to you. School is a good way (albeit not the only way I'm sure) to do this and I'm not yet convinced that home educated children (even those in home study group etc) can provide these opportunities to the same degree.

Sorry if that's not what you want to hear OP but that's my gut feeling.

YeGodsAndLittleFishes Thu 12-Jun-14 16:43:34

My thoughts are good for you and to wonder if your local education authority has let (yet another) child down by not meeting their needs. If you're in America, I'd wonder if you were religious, as a lot of HSers there seem to be.

Have various relatives who home school, for the child's benefit, and as a last resort. The kids got a much better education than they would have done otherwise.

0dd Thu 12-Jun-14 16:44:03

Jealousy.

grin

My DC were HE for 1y (youngest) and 3y (oldest) but they decided to give school a go. They are both enjoying school a lot but know HE is an option at any time.

I miss the flexibility of HE.

BrianTheMole Thu 12-Jun-14 16:44:11

I'd just think cool, and ask how it was going. I considered it myself, but couldn't afford to give up work.

Theodorous Thu 12-Jun-14 16:45:05

I think my first thought is negative but it's based on being a 80s kid with a champagne hippy mum who had peculiar friends. Although I went to private school and she left me to my own devices, I met loads of kids at CND marches/Greenham meetings that were called Otter and were home schooled who were very angry and unhappy people. Since then the only experience I have gad is on MN which is largely sane so I try really hard not to judge.

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