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AIBU?

Pineapples ..... Total fuckers.

132 replies

HoneyDragon · 05/06/2014 21:23

They always manage to stab you when you carry home, no matter where in the bag you put them.


You waste loads, only 10% of the fuckers are officially edible.

They are messy.

You end up eating half of it before you finished chopping it up, on account they are gorgeous little bastards, so you never officially have enough, then get pineapple consumption guilt.

Pineapples, total fuckers.

OP posts:
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NaturalBlondeYeahRight · 05/06/2014 21:25

No way. Mangos are right gits. I can peel a pineapple! Pomegranates close second on the 'most annoying fruit' catorgory.

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HoneyDragon · 05/06/2014 21:26

Mangos can be devious slippery fuckers, you're right there.

Never fallen out with a pomegranate though.

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JuanFernandezTitTyrant · 05/06/2014 21:30

You speak the truth HoneyDragon. Plus I luffs them, but I CBA to so anything with them and when I do they are too ripe and they give me tummy ache Sad.

I am toying with one if those pineapple oojamaflips.

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TobyLerone · 05/06/2014 21:31

They make my mouth hurt, but they are too delicious not to eat :(

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WiseKneeHair · 05/06/2014 21:32

Fresh pineapple chunks are the lazy way to go. Still delicious but no poking or waste.

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Caoilainn · 05/06/2014 21:34

I second the pomegranates. Look innocent but full of foul seeds (that the kids love) and bitter yucky stuff entwined inside the fuckers. Confused
Pineapples are tricky bastards too though.
Mangos are too pointless to worry about.

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ViviPru · 05/06/2014 21:35

You know you've been on MN too long when you read a thread title and know who posted it before even seeing their name....

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ViviPru · 05/06/2014 21:36

And to answer your AIBU... erm YANBU. I like my pineapple pre-prepared and in a little cellophane lidded pack for the very reasons you cite.

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JuanFernandezTitTyrant · 05/06/2014 21:36

Now nectarines I have no problems with. I had such a delicious one today that the baby didn't get any of it Shock. And he really really loves nectarine.

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grocklebox · 05/06/2014 21:36

You have no idea. All of that, plus I'm allergic to pineapple in the fresh form. So they even attack me from the inside, the fuckers.

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BadgersNadgers · 05/06/2014 21:36

They make my lips itch. I buy frozen mango - no pain, all gain.

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RandallFloyd · 05/06/2014 21:37

I've always wanted one of these bad boys but I've got a sneaking suspicion they'd be a bit shit.

Pineapples ..... Total fuckers.
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OldVikingDudeHidMyTubeSocks · 05/06/2014 21:40

Randell, they're not! I bloody love mine. I've always fancied msking a drink in the leftover 'shell'

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OldVikingDudeHidMyTubeSocks · 05/06/2014 21:41

ffs *Randall

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ShakyTheStork · 05/06/2014 21:43

Pineapples give me mouth ulcers.

Fuckers.

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EatDessertFirst · 05/06/2014 21:44

Tinned all the way I'm afraid. Allergic to the fresh but very delicious golden fruit.

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Tallypet · 05/06/2014 21:46

One word: tinned Grin
I battled for 20 minutes or so wrangling a pineapple to submission and got a paltry amount. I don't like tinned fruit (it feels like cheating even though it's not) but I'll be damned if one of those feckers pokes me again!

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CornChips · 05/06/2014 21:47

What are you all doing with fresh pineapple? ALDI do frozen pineapple chunks. Gorgeous things, and only £1.39 or something. I use it for everything smoothies to curries.

Fresh pineapple is always brown in the middle when you cut into it. Browny Pineapple Fuckers.

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PipkinsPal · 05/06/2014 21:47

I buy tinned mango or frozen. Pineapples are a nuisance and I am toying with getting a pineapple gadget. Apparently one of Lakeland's best sellers.

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EdYouKateShaun · 05/06/2014 21:50

The pineapple thinymajig is amazing! I got mine free with a pineapple in asda last year. And I have made a drink with the juice and drink it from the skin

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RandallFloyd · 05/06/2014 21:53

Are they properly good, VikingDude?
I really want one but I fear the reality would be a huge disappointment so I don't want to spoil the fantasy.

Intrigued by frozen pineapple.

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RandallFloyd · 05/06/2014 21:56

You got a free thingumy? No way!

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CatsCantTwerk · 05/06/2014 21:56

But you can regrow the top of a pineapple!

My dp gets ulcers and sore lips from eating pineapple, I thought it was just him, I didn't realise it was a thing.

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Fram · 05/06/2014 21:59

C'mon someone scientisty- what makes people get ulcers from pineapples?

They may be fuckers, but they're truly delicious.

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shouldnthavesaid · 05/06/2014 22:00

They always make my mouth burn and lips peel. Can have them from a tin etc but can't eat fresh pineapple at all, even if it's just juiced.

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