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AIBU?

To not want the teacher to hold my dd's ankle so she can't win the swimming races?

148 replies

fardyharp · 13/05/2014 14:32

dd3 is an excellent swimmer. She swims out of school three times a week and is very keen and dedicated. She has just started swimming lessons with the school and is by all accounts very far ahead of others in the class. This is fine and I still think good fun for her to go and learn to get on a coach and get changed with her mates etc etc. But she is getting really fed up because the teacher has started 'playing tricks on her' so that she can't win all the little races that they do at the end, either telling the others to go first (ok fair enough) but now grabbing her ankle as she turns. I think this is dangerous! She's only 8. She obviously hasn't said anything but she hates it :-(

She can't move up to an older group as they only take one year group at a time.

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MarshaBrady · 13/05/2014 14:33

That is bad, I'd feel the same.

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HecatePropylaea · 13/05/2014 14:34

Is it safe to grab hold of a child like that in the water?

Perhaps you should ask them to stop grabbing her by the ankle but if they feel it is important that she doesn't participate in these little races, to just let her swim to one side.

Just tell them to stop it.

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Gileswithachainsaw · 13/05/2014 14:34

She should not be grabbing her ankles!!

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fardyharp · 13/05/2014 14:35

IN fact just typing this out has made me see how stupid it is. I'm a bit worried that it might put her off altogether. I'll be interested to read any replies but I've already decided I am going to actually go in to the school and discuss it with them (bit scared)

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fardyharp · 13/05/2014 14:36

Especially if you grab an ankle when someone is tumble turning. It gave her a shock Sad

Also I don't really like the suggestion behind it that she should be made someone to laugh at because she's good at what she does

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HecatePropylaea · 13/05/2014 14:38

yes, grabbing someone while they are turning is stupid.

and - she's allowed to be good at swimming, I don't know what they think is wrong with that.

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MarshaBrady · 13/05/2014 14:39

Yes not only does it sound very unsafe, and it also sounds so wrong to discourage someone who is good at something.

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ChelsyHandy · 13/05/2014 14:39

Whaaat? No, YADNBU. How odd. What exactly is she "teaching" your dd?

Mind you, it will probably just make your dd more determined.

Fastest swimmer wins. That's all she needs to learn.

You might be better sending her to a proper swimming club.

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angelos02 · 13/05/2014 14:39

That is fucking outrageous OP. I would be furious if I were you. It could put her off swimming as she could start attaching negative conotations to it due to the treatment she is receiving.

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AgaPanthers · 13/05/2014 14:40

WTF? Complain to the Head

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DotToDott · 13/05/2014 14:40

Go into the school and discuss it with them as you have
said.

It's totally unacceptable to do this, and aside from the fact that i find it dangerous that they are grabbing her leg, they shouldn't be teaching your daughter that her winning is a bad thing.

as long as she is gracious about it and not demeaning towards those leas able than her then why are they making it an issue.

if a child was fabulous at mental arithmetic- better than all their classmates and always coming out on top, would they blast music in their ears or hit their pencil when they were trying to write answers? no.


perhaps you could suggest that your daughter races against a stopwatch as well? that way she can beat her own times and the "winner" of the other races can be someone else

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TeenAndTween · 13/05/2014 14:40

I think in this situation giving the other children a head start is fine (we do it when racing as a family) but grabbing an ankle is definitely not!

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Waltonswatcher1 · 13/05/2014 14:40

Did you see this ?

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LtEveDallas · 13/05/2014 14:40

Would they let her do diving practice instead? That's what DDs school have done for her. She was a very good swimmer prior to school lessons, and it became obvious that she needed to do something else when the other kids started complaining about her winning/getting the strokes right.

One of the TAs that attend with them now stays with DD and she practices dives, tumbles and starts, whilst the others are swimming. It's only for half an hour, so DD is happy to do it (she doesn't go to a swimming club though, she just swims with me).

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SpringBreaker · 13/05/2014 14:41

Nobody should be grabbing her ankle but I can also see how it must be frustrating for the other kids that they have no chance of winning. I can't think of any other suggestions though that would give the rest of the class a chance.

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AlpacaLypse · 13/05/2014 14:41

There are far better ways for the teacher to manipulate the lesson so the others get a chance to shine occasionally. Perhaps she could ask your dd to be a judge or a starter for the mini races?

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dietcokeandwine · 13/05/2014 14:44

I would be having a word with school, tbh. It sounds both unfair and potentially dangerous. If they don't like the fact that she's so far ahead that she wins all the little races, they should maybe find another way to end the lessons!

I'd be really cross if this was my DD.

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spatchcock · 13/05/2014 14:44

What? That's ridiculous. Do they sabotage the top kid in maths class? Or not let the artistic kid use a paintbrush so the others don't feel bad? I think not. Your DD should be allowed to shine at the thing she's good at.

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fardyharp · 13/05/2014 14:45

Thanks. The stopwatch is an excellent idea. She already swims with a club and at a development pathway session. The school ones are more for her being able to be with her friends.

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Viviennemary · 13/05/2014 14:46

I'd report this to the Headteacher. This is dreadful and possibly could be assault. Not to mention dangerous.

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fardyharp · 13/05/2014 14:46

They have suggested she judge but she's actually a very kind child and is worries about judging others! She just wants to swim with the others. I think it's just the end of the sessions when they do the races

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LemonBreeland · 13/05/2014 14:46

Definitely say something. It is outrageous to grab her ankle.

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NaturalBaby · 13/05/2014 14:48

I swam competitively from a similar age and there were only 1 or 2 other girls who could so it was frustrating for the teacher but your DD's teacher should be encouraging her.
I'd be on the phone demanding a meeting with the swimming teacher, that's very unprofessional. If she can't manage your child's abilities then she needs to figure out what she can provide for your DD during swimming lessons.

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Jenny70 · 13/05/2014 14:49

I wouldn't be happy with thia, obviously other children would see and think this is ok to do (to her or anyone). A starting handicap is more than fine.

Would they hold the pencil of someone in a maths test (and that's without the 'breathing' aspect of swimming being quite necessary to life).

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MintyChops · 13/05/2014 14:49

Another one here saying this is outrageous. Good luck talking to the school about it.

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