to completely give up on wearing bras?

(162 Posts)
Bigredsevs Wed 23-Apr-14 18:27:34

It started innocently enough; I would skip wearing bras if I was going on a flight, or long car ride, but now I can't seem to persuade myself to wear them at all!

I am not flat chested (36D, kind of 'wide based' if that makes any sense..). I am pretty sure that ianbu but every so often I feel unsure, mostly because of peoples reaction... my sister is appalled and her boobs are much smaller! I increasingly feel like I shouldn't have to wear a surgical support to change/camouflage the shape of my breasts every day of life.. and that men's people's reaction to the outline of my breasts through clothing is their problem... I do get anxious about whether it is unprofessional for work though, but then I get angry about how the fact that they are so over-sexualised that I feel responsible.

I would wear one if I was in a 'who has the nicest shaped boobs?' competition but am i being unreasonable to give up on wearing one for daily life?

p.s. walking, jumping, doing up and down stairs felt weird and wibbly at first, but normal now smile

Urvy Wed 23-Apr-14 18:33:59

Yanbu. I can't bring myself to wear them anymore. I did get some nice vests with a bit of support which are nice and comfy!

newsecretidentity Wed 23-Apr-14 18:39:04

Even with a bra, I feel like I need to hold my boobs when I run up and down stairs!

FloozeyLoozey Wed 23-Apr-14 18:40:49

It's a bit grim for other people to be honest.

phantomnamechanger Wed 23-Apr-14 18:41:36

you should choose to wear or not wear based only on your own comfort and preference, never on what other people might (or might not) think of you.
I'm 43yrs old and a 42DD and look and feel at least 10 years older if I don't wear one, none of my clothes look nice, plus its not comfy. Occasionally go without if I am only in the garden or decorating.

AnnieIncognito Wed 23-Apr-14 18:43:31

You're not being unreasonable at all - your body = your choice.

Personally, I could never do it. Like Floozey, I find it a bit grim looking at a large chested woman without a bra on. Sorry, but that's my opinion.

phantomnamechanger Wed 23-Apr-14 18:47:05

it also depends what you are wearing of course - much less obvious if you are wearing a baggy winter jumper or a zipped up fleece for example, but different altogether if clothes are tight/clingy or transparent!

RainbowSpiral Wed 23-Apr-14 18:48:58

I think you need to be careful for work. I had a colleague who never wore a bra and wore vest tops. All the guys stared at her through every meeting, but did not respect her professionally. She was a big lady and has since changed to wearing a bra for work (I think after a quiet word from her female and lovely boss).

Otherwise it is up to you. I am only a B and often go without a bra. I think for me they do make life less comfortable.

TimeForAnotherNameChange Wed 23-Apr-14 18:50:48

I'm assuming you're wearing the correct size and not something M&S or JL have fitted you for? Have you checked out the fitting advice here?

magoria Wed 23-Apr-14 18:51:08

I wear one for work as I have to wear shirts/blouses and things can be a little too visible without something.

Outside of work I am normally in baggy tees and really can't be stuffed.

LadyVetinari Wed 23-Apr-14 18:53:01

If it's obvious that you're not wearing one, then I don't think that's really okay for work. You may see bra-wearing as a sexist social convention that serves no practical value and is uncomfortable, but many men feel the same way about ties and top buttons or suit jackets. If every other woman in your workplace wears a bra then you should too (even if the men don't have to wear ties/top buttons/suit jackets), just as a man should wear a tie/top button/suit jacket if every other man in his office does (even if the women don't have to dress quite as restrictively). It sucks that we use appearance as such a strong indicator of attitude, but while we do it's disrespectful to your colleagues if you flout the conventions.

In everyday life, it depends on how much you can see through your clothes in bright sunlight and during strenuous activity. I'd be offended if I could clearly see the outline of a bloke's penis and scrotum through a pair of running tights or translucent white swimming trunks, for instance, because those are body that we are conditioned to expect adults to conceal. The same is true of breasts and female nipples, whether you agree with it or not. That doesn't mean that you should necessarily wear a bra outside of work, but possibly wearing thicker and looser tops would be considerate to the people around you.

FWIW, I'd look into stretchy, non-underwired crop top thingies for casual wear - I'm a 28HH and find those very comfortable for housework or nightwear, so they may well serve as a good compromise for you. For work, you might be well advised to pop into Bravissimo or John Lewis to get fitted for a non-underwired but supportive bra - they really don't have to be uncomfortable!

2blackcats2 Wed 23-Apr-14 18:55:54

I don't wear one and am still respected at work, strangely enough I am respected for my contribution and not whether my boobs are strapped down or not hmm

Swannery Wed 23-Apr-14 18:57:51

You're very brave - don't you find that people look at you all the time? Wouldn't you prefer people to notice other aspects of your appearance or personality?

2blackcats2 Wed 23-Apr-14 18:59:11

Why would they look at me? Genuine question.

I don't think anyone's noticed. No one has "noticed" this "aspect" of me - or if they have, they haven't brought it up.

MamaPain Wed 23-Apr-14 18:59:51

Depends on a few things really, primarily what you're wearing and your workplace environment. Although I would worry about them being at your ankles in the next 10 years!

Last summer a woman in M&S actually flopped both her tits out onto the checkout. She was, like myself, a large breasted lady yet had opted for a maxi dress and no bra, before they came out her boobs were visibly down to nearly her waist and she only had to bend slightly for me to see the top of her knickers. Next thing I know she's unpacking her trolley with a side of nipple. She was in her fifties and I think had just tired of wearing bras but really that look isn't suitable with certain outfits.

Be careful, it seemed pretty humiliating.

Sicaq Wed 23-Apr-14 19:01:23

I often don't, though I am almost literally flat chested. Cold weather is the enemy blush

bizarre responses IMO. there is no reason to assume that the op flaunts her breasts. she just doesn't wear a bra. no one can see my bra so they won't know if I'm wearing one or not, although the cut of some clothes will give it away.

do what you like op whether it is "a bit grim for other people" or not is more their issue than yours.

Swannery Wed 23-Apr-14 19:02:57

IME people (or at least men) do tend to look at bra-less breasts.

Llareggub Wed 23-Apr-14 19:03:24

I feel physically uncomfortable without a bra. I get all sorts of back ache and my nipples point south wards like two sad little puppies.

If you are aren't uncomfortable then I don't think it matters what other people think. I don't particularly like looking at men with ridiculously hairy eyebrows but I don't judge then for it.

2blackcats2 Wed 23-Apr-14 19:05:35

No one's looked at mine and I work with a lot of young men.

Swannery Wed 23-Apr-14 19:05:57

Many do judge, though. Maybe not men's eyebrows, but certainly bra-less women. Good on you though.

MamaPain Wed 23-Apr-14 19:07:34

As I said, clothing is very relevant, I don't have many clothes where you can't tell if I'm wearing a bra or not and as I have a sizeable chest lots of things are quite fitted so my permanent nipple erection would be a bit too obvious.

2blackcats2 Wed 23-Apr-14 19:11:09

I wear fitted tops, blouses, jumpers, dresses ... smile

If nipples showing is a possible issue I wear a vest top under my blouse or shirt.

I just don't particularly like bras. I don't have big boobs but they aren't tiny either (34C.) I certainly work somewhere where management would tell me if there was a problem with my dress.

I personally believe that the idea that all women should wear bras is ridiculous. It's perfectly possible to dress smartly and professionally and not wear a bra. Not wearing a bra does not equate to nipples on show and boobs jiggling about.

Sunnydaysablazeinhope Wed 23-Apr-14 20:11:30

I could be magnanimous and say good luck, I could tell you I wouldn't bat an eye, I could tell you go girl be your own woman....

I could say a lot of things....

But I'll tell you my truth. You suggest you are a largish wide breasted woman. I'd notice. I ain't blind or stupid. I'd think you stupid, not mentally obvs but socially. If think you were a bit weird. I would probably assume you a bit 'herbal' putting it nicely, or weird if I'm not. I might know you, I might like you but I'd find it funny and even laugh at you behind your back. At work id think you a few sandwiches short of a picnic. It might even make me avoid sitting opposite you if I didn't like your outfit/think you covered sufficiently.

I would unlikely mention it. Can't really imagine the conversation it would be brought up in. But I would definitely judge you.

I'd rather be truthful as I suspect an awful lot will lie.

Sunnydaysablazeinhope Wed 23-Apr-14 20:12:13

It might even make me raise it to manager/hr.

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