To NOT want to keep hearing about the world and its wife being pregnant

(69 Posts)
impatientlywaiting14 Mon 14-Apr-14 21:55:55

Hi all

So am ttc#1, onto cycle 3 now (not long i know) but so impatient as I have waited a longgg time to get to this point due to varying circumstances including health. I have found out I have Endo and am so anxious for it to happen and worried it never will.

I Have 3 close friends ones currently pregnant, ones not long had a baby, the other childless. I don't really Feel like i cant talk to the first two as I will make them feel bad and like i begrudge their good fortune ( i really dont).

So i speak to childless friend more. She tells me today about 3 of her family members (2 i don't know from Adam) and one i do know finding out today their pregnant. This was over text I told her to pass on my Congrats and cried. She knows im struggling atm but dosen't understand why. But shouldn't that be enough, do i really need to know about members I have never met or heard of and ones i don't see (at least for now). Their not my family. If it was her then it would be different.

I Keep seeing it all over fb and hear through other people "guess what so and sos expecting". I feel like saying to people I don't want to hear it but I know that would be unreasonable and sound like i cant be happy for others.

I know there are others out there that have been ttc much longer than me and im Sorry if i have upset anyone or come across insensitive. I just needed to rant to people who understand instead of being told "oh i don"t see why your dissapointed it will happen soon, its not like you cant have kids" sad

xxx

impatientlywaiting14 Mon 14-Apr-14 22:00:08

"I Have 3 close friends ones currently pregnant, ones not long had a baby, the other childless. I don't really Feel like i cant talk to the first two as I will make them feel bad and like i begrudge their good fortune ( i really dont)"

Sorry I meant to say I don't really feel i really can,not Cant.

PeachandRaspberry Mon 14-Apr-14 22:00:09

YANBU. It's utterly, utterly shit and I really hope you get your good news soon.

ICanSeeTheSun Mon 14-Apr-14 22:01:48

When you want something so much, you notice it more.

3 months ttc isn't long, but I suspect with knowing you have endo and that it could take longer than the norm is even more difficult.

The thing is you will see pregnancy every where, because ATM it really important to you.

27onesies Mon 14-Apr-14 22:02:59

Of course YANBU to feel this way, it is so disheartening when the test comes back negative.

Keep positive though, share other peoples news positively as you don't want to start being negative to friends about there family's happiness.

I hope it happens soon for you smile

ICanSeeTheSun Mon 14-Apr-14 22:04:31

Forgot to say your friend is not being very sensitive about it and yanbu

I know it's hard.

It took us 9 months before I was pregnant with ds1.

Try to remain calm and don't get too angry.

scarlets Mon 14-Apr-14 22:09:53

Your feelings are normal.

toobreathless Mon 14-Apr-14 22:12:18

I'm sorry I think you need to get over yourself, you sound like a petulant child.

You will see bumps and babies everywhere, try and be happy for people , the fact that they are pregnant does reduce your chance of conceiving

& hopefully you will also be pregnant soon then it will be lovely to share the experience together.

toobreathless Mon 14-Apr-14 22:13:13

DOES NOT reduce your chance....

What a typo!

Pigletin Mon 14-Apr-14 22:23:10

I understand how you feel and that it is difficult but you need to get over this as you can't shut yourself out from the rest of the world. You need to learn how to deal with your feelings otherwise you will be one very unhappy person until you become pregnant yourself.

Best of luck! flowers

Ilikesweetpeas Mon 14-Apr-14 22:23:25

You are not being unreasonable, as someone who struggled for years to conceive I can assure you that what you feel is normal. A word of advice, if these are people that you would buy gifts for when the baby is born consider a cheque for their savings account / a gift voucher. I found going to buy baby clothes etc very hard. Good luck with ttc, and when you get your bfp you will be sensitive to other women in your current situation

weatherall Mon 14-Apr-14 22:30:59

Once you do have a dc do you want other people to be happy for you?

3 months is nothing!

Babies can't be ordered on demand like some consumer good.

Plateofcrumbs Mon 14-Apr-14 22:51:04

I'm sorry I think you need to get over yourself, you sound like a petulant child

Having an anonymous rant on MN to vent feelings isn't the same thing as acting like a petulant child.

OP - Of course it may be early days in your TTC journey for you but when you know your fertility may be impaired it's going to feel tougher.

Without wanting to add to your woes by being yet another pregnant woman - I have suspected endo and am currently expecting my first. It did take over a year, but we got there. Hope 2014 will bring you a BFP.

deakymom Mon 14-Apr-14 22:58:15

you will make it im sure try not to let it get to you xx

Stars66 Mon 14-Apr-14 23:02:26

YANBU. When you are finally ready to TTC then suddenly you see the world through blinkered eyes where everyone and her aunt are with child. And it's bloody hard! I remember it well, so don't fear you are totally not alone. But don't worry, your time will come and then you will forget these anxious times.
It took me a year of TTC before having a healthy pregnancy, and then I was nervous all through it watching the dates and being jealous of every bump or newborn I saw now those days are a bit of a blur and mostly forgotten.
Try not to stress, relax loads, eat healthy foods and enjoy this time with your partner, and speak to him about your thoughts- it's good to talk!
Oh and good luck smile

Pipbin Mon 14-Apr-14 23:04:13

I was like that.
3 years and 2 IVF later and it barely registers.

Hopefully it won't get to that stage for you. Have you been posting on the conception forums?
Good luck.

Amy106 Mon 14-Apr-14 23:04:46

OP, you are not being unreasonable, not at all. I wish you a baby of your own in the near future. My fingers are crossed for you! thanks

thebody Mon 14-Apr-14 23:05:52

Just flowers and keep your chin up.

MeerkatTargaryen Mon 14-Apr-14 23:49:41

Ok I've read this 3 times now and tried to be reasonable myself but YABU.

It's only been 3 months. I don't think i'd go as far as petulant child but if you are this bad after 3 months what if you get to 3 years? Are you going to hide away from every pg woman that you might come across? That's just ridiculous.

Meerkat - ttc 10 years - 4 miscarriages. Yes you do get a kick in the uterus everytime someone tells you they are pg. But if you let it dwell on you then you will be depressed and living a pretty lonely life.

I poss have endo too. Fighting with gp to get a gynae referral (among others). Might explain a lot!

Good luck and wish you all the best xxxx

DaleyBum Mon 14-Apr-14 23:53:36

I think YABU but I can understand why. People like to share their joy at the happier things in life, they are not boasting about being pregnant. I hope it happens for you soon.

Pipbin Mon 14-Apr-14 23:55:46

And I have to say that hopefully you'll get pregnant soon, and you know what it is like for people who struggle so be careful when you announce it.

toobreathless Tue 15-Apr-14 00:36:14

I'm afraid I still think the OP sounds like a petulant child, it just comes across very much as 'I want a baby NOW & it's all about ME'

But I really wish her all the best & hope she doesn't alienate her pregnant friends- hopefully if she conceived quickly they can share experiences together when pregnant.

meercat that sounds incredibly tough. You say you are fighting for a Gynae referral? Have you been seen for your recurrent miscarriages? Excuse me prying. I really hope it works out for you& you are holding your own baby soon.

Rosalie82 Tue 15-Apr-14 02:35:04

To be fair, your friend probably doesn't even realise it is such a big issue for you if you have literally just started TTC. And she will be excited about her relatives being pregnant so just wanted to tell someone.

I get that it's hard, but seriously - when I was pregnant, I felt like I was tiptoeing on eggshells around some friends and tbh ended up making reasons not to go to events I knew certain ones would be at because of their behaviour.

Don't be that person.

Rosalie82 Tue 15-Apr-14 02:36:02

For example, I put up a picture (on bloody fb) of me cuddling my new baby niece five months after a friend had a miscarriage and she stopped speaking to me.

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