to not want to be approached by charity collectors?

(136 Posts)

Raising money and awareness for charities is a wonderful thing. Of course it is. I've done it myself from time to time and I give what support I can. It's important and it's bloody hard work and I have nothing but admiration for those who give their time and energy to do it.

But...I'm really beginning to hate being asked, every time I go to the supermarket or the shopping centre, if I want to help prevent children's cancer. Well who doesn't? but I feel so small and so mean if I don't have spare change to put in their buckets every day! Is it so wrong not to want charity collectors to act like salesmen, making unsolicited pitches designed to make people feel guilty? Is it just me? AIBU or does anyone else feel this way?

Ilovemydogandmydoglovesme Sun 16-Mar-14 20:40:26

YANBU, I feel a bit like this too. Every day in our town centred there's a woman selling the Big Issue. She asks me every time I pass her, like four times in ten minutes. I just smile at her. She's only doing a job.

I'm pretty sure we don't have any homeless people in our town, it's a pretty small town. We do however have a food bank and if she was asking for donations for that I'd quite like to give something.

chattychattyboomba Sun 16-Mar-14 20:42:14

YANBU, It's the ones that cut you off in the street, or hold out their hand to shake yours as a way of engaging that really annoy me. Some can be very pushy. I do support charity and I am happy to chuck a few coins in a bucket (if they look legitimate and not just someone who has made up a fake ID- which happens often) I may be cynical but this is from living in a big city where people try to swindle you on a daily basis. What I don't like especially is being asked to sign over bank account details for a monthly/weekly contribution in the middle of the street. No. Invasion of privacy and i will avoid you completely if I think that's what you'll ask me for.

elQuintoConyo Sun 16-Mar-14 20:46:24

Can you speak a foreign language? Learn a couple of phrases? They back off when I speak Spanish (in UK), or when I shrug and apologetically say "tourist" in my local town grin works a treat and hurts no one.

I hate the buggers. They prey on you feeling guilty.

Guitargirl Sun 16-Mar-14 20:48:07

Ilove - Big Issue sellers are either homeless or at risk of becoming homeless so the woman you see is in one of those positions. She may not be street homeless, she may be in a hostel or other temporary accommodation.

OP - there is no need to feel guilty, most people are not in the position to give to every cause they feel to be worthwhile. We all do what we can, right?

LessMissAbs Sun 16-Mar-14 20:49:09

Who doesn't want to prevent children's cancer, or fund research into autism?

I tell you whats sad though, is when you wind up your deceased mother's tiny estate, who only had a couple of small pensions to live on and who struggled to make ends meet, and who was in remission from cancer for the past few years of her life, and you see all these little newly taken out direct debits in the last months of her life, which she couldn't really afford.

expatinscotland Sun 16-Mar-14 20:49:17

I use one of my foreign languages and pretend I don't speak English.

Curlynoodles Sun 16-Mar-14 20:53:23

It's the emotive questions that leave you feeling like a complete arse for walking away.

'Would you like to help sick children?'
'Would you like to help our injured troupes?'
'Would you like to support cruelty against animals?'

blush Puts head down and walks away blush

Curlynoodles exactly!

MrsSpencerReid Sun 16-Mar-14 20:56:59

I tell them I'm only 17!!! As you have to be 18 for them to 'recruit' you. grin

Emo76 Sun 16-Mar-14 20:57:05

I notice some medical charity "chuggers" now wear white medical coats. Interesting marketing ploy. Also they seem to carry collection "buckets" which on closer inspection appear to not be open to accept donations. Maybe that works better to hook people in than a clipboard.

ohtowinthelottery Sun 16-Mar-14 21:03:34

lessmiss I have recently been dealing with my DFs estate. The number of direct debits he had to obscure charities was unbelievable. And virtually every counterfoil in his cheque book was for £10 or £20 to a charity. He kept all those 'free' greetings cards/address labels/pens/coasters/calendars which came through the post - there were hundreds of them lying around the house. He didn't want/need them but couldn't bare to throw them away - he just sent them money.... all the time. We got letters/phone calls from some of them when we cancelled the DDs wanting to know why he had stopped donating. I was so tempted to write back and say "because he's bloody well 6ft under". I did give short shrift to one charity who rang thinking I was his wife. I told them I was not, but that DM was frail and old and wouldn't want to be bothered by them again.
I suppose it is people like my DF that make this form of harassment worthwhile for the charities.

HelloTraverse Sun 16-Mar-14 21:05:00

Curlynoodles I didn't know there were charities that collected for injured dancers. Maybe that's why they call it BREAK-dancing! grin

Curlynoodles Sun 16-Mar-14 21:08:38

Oops! Damn autocorrect, it's bloody shut wink

Ilovemydogandmydoglovesme Sun 16-Mar-14 21:27:39

Guitargirl really? Never thought of that. She's been doing it for bloody years. She must have spent a long time in hostels. I understand she sells it in other towns as well and had got a husband and children.

Guitargirl Sun 16-Mar-14 21:34:49

I love - I am speculating obviously as I know nothing about the woman but having a husband and children doesn't preclude her from being homeless. There are providers who house homeless families. Some people spend their whole adult lives in hostels or other temporary accommodation. I buy a Big Issue from a woman I pass on my way to work, she is there most mornings. Sometimes I buy her breakfast. She has been sitting on that bridge selling the Big Issue since before I was expecting DD who is now 7.

tunnocksteacake Sun 16-Mar-14 21:38:42

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Squigglypig Sun 16-Mar-14 21:43:38

YANBU - even worse is since we moved house last year we get chuggers knocking on our door at around teatime asking for money! I try not to open door to them if I can avoid it. I do give to charities, but ones I pick and research - not ones that disturb us at home. I think it's really rude.

CrohnicallyChanging Sun 16-Mar-14 21:44:35

elQuinto DH tried that one time. The chugger answered him in perfect German.

BelleateSebastian Sun 16-Mar-14 21:45:04

I went into town on Friday afternoon after school and was accosted by a chugger at one end of the high street, a big issue seller in the middle and another chugger at the end .... no wonder people shop onfriggingline!

BelleateSebastian Sun 16-Mar-14 21:46:28

and my departed df also had lots of cheque book stubs to charities and dd's set up ... we found all these after he dies sad

Southeastdweller Sun 16-Mar-14 21:48:31

Can't be doing with them. I can live with them getting in my way in the street but when I say 'no thanks' most times I get a sarky 'have a nice day' in response. I noticed a first in Birmingham on Friday - they had collection buckets, another ploy, as Emo says. I just blanked the guy and will do to the rest of them from now on.

It's not even just in the streets anymore though, I've noticed them more and more inside the shopping centres and the supermarkets. They're always at my local tesco now. If there's a bucket from a recognised charity a the til I'll put some spare change in it, but it really bugs me when they stand in front of the door and say 'Do you want to help sick children'? I just feel its so manipulative!

I hate this and also when they come knocking at the door, I don't open it if I realise.

My husband does a monthly DD to WWF and they phone up every month, I told them if they don't stop he'd cancel it!

Supercosy Sun 16-Mar-14 22:46:52

It is dreadful. I give to several charities and sponsor a child in Niger. We also regularly deliver food to the food bank so I do my best. I bloody hate the chuggers in town but even more I hate those who knock at my door at night time. There are so many things about it I loathe, the invasion of privacy, the lies they tell ("all your neighbours have said they will help") and the fake familiarity they use to try to get you talking. I think it is completely out of order and I'm afraid now I say "Hello, I'm just going to tell you now I'm not interested so please don't waste my time or yours".

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