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wibu to stop and give out to this woman

(217 Posts)
spongebob13 Sat 08-Mar-14 20:32:12

coming home last night from late night shopping on a dark windy country road and only for a car coming against me, with their headlights I spotted last second a woman walking in the dark in black. I swerved to avoid her and braked and the other car passed. I came to a stop. my heart was thumping and was shaking and i was so mad. I reversed and rolled down window. she stopped and looked in at me as if i was looking for directions not a bother on her. I said exactly "jesus Christ I nearly hit you. you are all in black! are you mad?" she said "what?" I said "I couldn't see you and it would be my fault if I hit you! " she said "fuck off" and walked on. I was in shock. haven't stopped thinking about it since. I swear if I knew who she was I'd report her but for what law she is breaking I don't know! selfish bint!

ChocolateWombat Mon 10-Mar-14 08:40:03

galloping, what a terrible story. So sorry to hear that.
Makes me think that if I am ever totally out in the middle of nowhere and see someone wandering on a fast road, I will phone the Police. Might not make much difference, but apart from asking them to get into your car, which seems a very scary thing to do, what else can you do to help them, as you drive away.

gallopinghorse Sun 09-Mar-14 22:22:34

haven't read the whole thread but just wanted to say. YANBU my husband nearly knocked over a teenage boy walking on a country road a while ago. We later heard that another vehicle had actually hit him and killed him. The boy was walking in the same direction as the traffic in dark clothing. Perhaps if my DH or somebody else had spoken to him he would have taken greater care and still be alive today.

Adeleh Sun 09-Mar-14 22:07:44

Agree with you on that. I'd be annoyed to have to throw myself in a ditch.

CorusKate Sun 09-Mar-14 21:59:03

No Adeleh, I think she was being incredibly daft to walk down a country road dressed in black at night (though she didn't deserve to be treated the way the OP treated her) - I was responding to other posters saying that pedestrians on country roads without pavements should press themselves into hedges anytime a car comes along.

Adeleh Sun 09-Mar-14 21:54:37

coruskate doesn't sound as if you'd be in the position of this pedestrian then, as you have a lot more sense.

CorusKate Sun 09-Mar-14 21:47:35

All these people who want me to press myself into the hedge every time a car comes down the road can fuck off. I take care of myself on the road: wear light clothes etc. if it's dusk (I don't walk around at night); walk on the right; pay attention to blind corners; look at the driver to check they've seen me.

I'm fairly considerate, I think - if a car is approaching from in front of me, I look behind me, and if one is coming from behind me too, I check to see if there's anywhere I can safely step off the road to. But if there isn't a car coming from behind or there isn't anywhere safe to step off to, and I am sure I can be easily seen by the driver(s), I keep walking and expect the driver to detour around me, or slow down and wait until the other car has passed me.

I'd be stopping and twisting my ankle on verges, stepping in dogshit, and getting stabbed in the ear with twigs, about once a minute if I pressed myself in the hedge for every car, spending longer being a squidgy obstacle on the country road.

Nearly all drivers see me, slow down, go wide round me and acknowledge my thanks. I guess the few that don't bother are the ones who expected me to throw myself into a stagnant dyke rather than have the temerity to use the road.

LessMissAbs Sun 09-Mar-14 21:43:38

Please let me never turn into one of these ranting women. Or at least if age does that to me, please let me do something useful with my rants. Such as ranting at criminals, or vandals, or stopping someone harassing someone. Or boy racers. Rather than just raging at people who annoy me but aren't doing anything illegal.

I leave that to the police.

spongebob13 Sun 09-Mar-14 21:23:41

lesmissabs read the thread I said what position she was walking on road long time ago and that in my eyes was the right position.

carlywurly Sun 09-Mar-14 21:10:10

Difficult one. You weren't unreasonable to be shocked but I would be concerned that she was having to do that anyway. I'd be terrified.

In my job I once had to deal with a family who'd been devastated after their son killed a cyclist who was riding in darkness down a country lane with no lights on. Such tragic ramifications for everyone.

diabolo Sun 09-Mar-14 21:05:10

As someone who loves driving on the twisty bendy lanes where I live AND as someone who often walks along these roads at dusk, I would NEVER expect people to drive significantly lower than the speed limit just in case they come across me.

I am the one who is choosing to walk in the road. I know the speed limit of the road. It is up to me and ME ALONE to make sure I am safe to walk in the road.

That isn't a reason not to wear sensible clothing/hi viz gear at night though, is it.

LessMissAbs Sun 09-Mar-14 20:50:33

The road I've seen runners, horseriders and cyclists on without lights and hi-viz in the dark is very narrow, twisty and has some narrow bridges at the bottom of steep hills followed by blind bends. It certainly wouldn't be safe to drive faster than about 25mph except in a very few straight bits. Whether its night or day.

You do get ignorant idiots who speed along faster, I've nearly been run off the road by them in my car. They rely on other people taking evading action. Yes, they probably aren't driving faster than 60mph but they are still driving dangerously.

Its just sheer chance that if you are walking or cycling or riding, whether or not you are draped in hi-viz and Christmas lights, even in daylight, that one of these idiots doesn't run into you.

No - but in general, you are safer the better you can be seen. And any extra reaction time the driver gets, could help in making the difference between an accident and a near miss, in those circumstances, madammoose.

Of course, drivers should use sensible speeds, and take care going round blind corners.

ChocolateWombat Sun 09-Mar-14 20:45:47

In order to stop, you need to be going at 30mph or slower when you see someone some distance off. Are you suggesting that people don't drive faster than 30 on any country lanes in case they find someone wandering?

I agree that near villages, people need to keep their speed down. However I think driving at 50 is reasonable 6 miles from any town. Madam ooze, are you suggesti g we should never exceed 30?

madammoose Sun 09-Mar-14 20:38:28

Posted too soon!

...comes round the corner too quick to stop.

madammoose Sun 09-Mar-14 20:37:35

As a pedestrian wearing high visibility clothing will not keep you safe on a country road if a driver c

Almostfifty Sun 09-Mar-14 20:32:29

I live on a side road where it is very hard to see anything when driving because of oncoming traffic coming along.

I frequently stop people who are walking along the road in dark clothing and tell them I can barely see them.

Normally they thank me and wear something hi vis or lighter from then on.

Surely most people must realise it's better to be safe than dead?

LessMissAbs Sun 09-Mar-14 20:28:12

it was a passenger window and couldn't grab my keys

So the pedestrian was walking towards you, facing towards oncoming traffic. In other words, in a position which allowed her to take evasive action should someone be likely to hit her.

If she was in a situation which didn't allow her to prepare by taking lights and hi-vix, what exactly is wrong with that?

diabolo Sun 09-Mar-14 20:27:34

Ridiculous. If you live in the countryside and go out for a walk in the dark, YOU TAKE A TORCH or at the very,very least, wear light coloured reflective clothing. It's just what we do in the country.

I wear a head torch and carry another one to shine behind me when walking the dog on winter evenings.

I can't quite believe the weird vitriol on this thread.

LessMissAbs Sun 09-Mar-14 20:23:36

Sauvignon People who live in the country are allowed to leave their homes

I do believe that some people are so wedded to their cars that they are actually stranded in their houses unless they have vehicular evacuation pre-arranged...

Winterkills - I don't think people are defending what the OP^did^, but they are agreeing that the pedestrian was should have been wearing something that would make her visible to drivers - for her own safety and for the safety of others on the road (see my previous post).

I do not condone what the OP did - but I think it is reckless and stupid to walk along at night, in clothes that make you invisible to drivers until it is almost too late.

LtEve's account of her accident emphasises an important point. The pedestrian/cyclist who is invisible in the dark, due to dark clothing/no lights, could cause an accident.

If you don't see the pedestrian/cyclist until you are almost upon them, you are going to have to make an emergency manoeuvre to avoid them, and that is far more risky than seeing them in good time to slow down and either go round them, or wait behind them until,it is safe to pass them (if there's traffic coming the other way, or you can't see round a bend, for example).

If you have to swerve to miss someone, you might end up skidding off the road, as LtEve did, or going into the path of another vehicle so they have to swerve - it could cause a serious accident.

Adeleh Sun 09-Mar-14 19:58:45

Fair point. I wouldn't have reversed.

winterkills Sun 09-Mar-14 19:55:19

Those defending this seem to be missing the part where the OP reversed on an unlit country road and then stopped in the road to shout at the pedestrian.

The idea that you can do something so insanely risky and then complain about someone else's 'dangerous' behaviour is utterly ludicrous.

Adeleh Sun 09-Mar-14 19:51:22

I agree, but I also don't think that what the OP said was all that bad in the circumstances. It's never nice to be called 'mad', but it was bloody stupid behaviour. And if the pedestrian learns from that, then it's a good thing. There's no evidence that the OP shouted or screamed. And 2 sentences hardly constitute a rant.

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